shed a tear...

one patient came in today and i was at the reception and when she came to me i said: heya, may i help you?

she just went thru her bag and took out a piece of paper that stated an appointment with my boss and so i said that: I'll go get my boss... and so i went in to her office and told her about the patient that came for her appointment and then return to the reception area to get her: she's ready for you... just enter the room to the right..

she was sitting on a chair when i said that but she did not response..

and then i called out to her again... but she did not response as well, i mean of course she was looking elsewhere..

anyway.. so i went over out of the counter to tell her and then only she stood up after seeing me coming and then when i want to really say something she pointed to her ear and forcefully said with a low voice: im deaf...

that instant i was taken back but i didnt really show it out but just to point at the door where she would go in for her appointment..

after she entered the room i went back in behind the counter and everything just fly pass my mind...

she looks very very decent and for her to tell me that, it was really unexpected and maybe at that point i just really couldnt hold back anymore and tears just filled my eyes..

well no one noticed since the weather is so dry those tears evaporates instantly anyway..

...

then i told myself, be grateful....

i put on a smile after that and everything was good till now..

ive been struggling these few days thinking about bubu and all and like trying to talk to him and all and like.. like those hard-to-get-rid kinda ex... haha... but like... i think he has got his life to live and im just too far to make an impact on his anymore, at least for now..  letting go is not easy but like, its easier after today..

dont know la..

maybe its just a temporary feeling but like it felt better than 10 people trying to console me kinda thing...

maybe its just my own internal conflict..

conflict or not.. hopefully it will be better after this....







:)