a good thing about being malaysian chinese..

today i had a placement in Middlebrough.. was at a midwifery clinic and had this China chinese that is 6 months pregnant.. she came in for her routinal monthly checkup and cos her england wasnt so power, i kinda assist the consultation process..

i was quite happy that i could help her understand stuffs that she might not get if there wasnt any translator around.. satisfaction at its best.

anyway..

so this conversation took place after that..

so where are you from?

oh, im from Malaysia..

oh really?

yea...

hm.. do you know is there any Malaysian chinese nannies around?

well, not that i know of...... ....why?

well, cos im due soon and i thought of getting a malaysian nanny to help me out.. you know la, malaysian can speak good english and mandarin.. it would be easier for me when i go for checks for me and the baby, at least someone could be there to translate and explain things to me..

hm....

well, i need to go now... thanks so much anyway for just now...

no bother, you take care ok, and congratulations.. :)

:)

well, the only thing good being malaysian is that you are exposed to a few language when youre younger, i mean like me i was brought up spiaking england at home, mum would shoot me in cantonese and like cantonese would be an automatic "mother" language kinda thing although non of my parent's are descended from that area thingy.. went to a chinese elementary school and national secondary school so practically i know 4 languages both spoken and written :) quite chun kan i know i know... *comb hair to the left using index finger with middle finger placed 90degrees from it stroking through the hairline*

a certified translator could easily earn RM200-500 here..

oh well... wth... maybe i should change my job becoming translator kan..

why didnt i think of this before?! omgosh... hahahahaha.. maybe it would be something to fall back on if the course that im doing has got no career advancement capacity! lol..

taking the tiramisu credit...

the dinner i made for him on saturday night was too delicious and too much cos of the cheap promotion kat tesco, i bought 2 packets of brussel sprouts, 1 pack of mixed vege and 1 packet of bean sprouts all for 1 pound altogether, we couldnt believe the cheapivity of it and like i cooked the whole lot as though we are some cow drinking vege for dinner like that..

made chilli pork with spring onion and also chicken essence rice.. the rice wasnt too much but the vege stuffed us both!

in the end, the tiramisu that was for dessert that night was not touched at all..

after that got intense exercise and all got hungry and everything but we didnt wanna brush gigi again so we just drop the idea of eating.. lol..

the next day cos i have to work and we usually have our weekly sunday lunch near the beach one so we didnt touch that whole kotak of tiramisu omgucci...

fine la..

before we left i took 3 scoops la say wanna try and all scare no nice but mana tau turns out ok la, have to put more coffee rum..

so anyway.. this conversation took place as he was sending me back after lunch..

so, youre going to mums later right? (he usually goes to his mum for dinner every sunday)

yup yup, as usual..

well, why not you bring the tiramisu over?

hm... i have to find a container...

why cant you just use the ori one?

cos its not presentable...

-.- seriously?

well........... maybe i will just do that, family doesnt mind anyway..

=.=

so so so so, what if your mum asks you who made it, what will you say?

well, im just gonna tell her the truth!

what? youre gonna tell her that it was me?

well, no, im gonna say that i made it!

=.= she knows you enough to know that youre a kitchen noob, she wont buy it...

well, mother trusts me most!

=.= fine...

so the night went by... they had dinner and MY pudding and Keith texts me..

mother loves the pudding!

really?

yup!!

so................did she asks you where did it appear from?!

yup, i told her it was leftovers from a house warming..

=.= right.................

:)

urgh...

meet the friends... Part 3 : "VIP area"

so the last pub we went to omgosh it was quite different like cos after entering, i felt like i was some new meat like that..

the pub is generally dark and the lights come only from the bar..

90% of the patrons there are daddys, all shapes and sizes and like omgosh can you imagine the number of eyes that was directly trying to shock me inside out!! hhahahahaha...

i grab hold of Keith even more.. lol

there are 2 hanging TVs, one with pictures of guys with extremely big dicks changing every 8 seconds.. -.- and the other one is playing some news shit... lol..

i was so eager to bump into someone i knew or met before that night and I finally found one! lol.. he was the bartender there, spanish dude that i was quite keen to meet up but the day that i finally wanna meet, Keith popped the question so the meet never came and like.. haha.. well, we shall not explore the unthinkable! :)

i knew he was working in one of the gay pub around here but i didnt know it was this one.. haha.. oh well.. i cut my hair already and he probably didnt recognize me anyway, lol, not that i gatal or what la.. hahahaha...

anyway... whats interesting about this pub is that there's this stairs that leads to a lower level.. and a big sign VIP AREA was displayed by the stairs..

i was curious so i asked Keith about it la kan..

Babe, whats that?

its a place where Tom loves to go...

huh?

(suddenly lots of people starts talking about it)

oh... you dowana go there like...

there are cages down there.. all the dirty things you can think of happens down there..

haha.. really? babe have you been down there like? 

well, i think everyone has... :) but that was like years ago...

ooo..... suddenly i feel so interested going down...

Keith, bring him down, dont get lost down there ok!!

i will try.. 

Tom, come on...

so.. basically there are 2 metal cages at that floor, a "toilet" and also a "maze" underneath the stairs..

interesting!! whats inside?

well, thats the toilet where everything happens.. people get sucked off and everything..

...........

o.O how bout there? 

you'll get lost in it cos it is pitch black and basically you will get molested and you know... 

hahaha...ok, this is creepy, lets go up! 

i didnt even dare to go any further cos there's a stench of pee and like i just feel so chlamydia all over again! hahahahaha.. so off we went back up!!

anyway, it was almost 1am and like not sure why but Keith wants to go back already and I was quite shocked.. haha.. cos usually they(without me) will hang around till bout 3.. Keith told them it was way pass my bed time.. MY bed time! hahahahahah.. so cute! lol.. maybe he just wanna cuddle me back home in our comfy bed.. lol..

Tom and Jerry, of course they were not finish and so we kinda left them, they'll go back by cab i think.. or maybe someone else will give them a lift la..

well generally it was a fun night la, started off quite awkward but slowly slowly dapatla mingle about and the ice melted and like it was good la..

this kinda pub crawl will be a monthly thing for me i think now that im "introduced" to the "friends".. hahaha...

anyway i made lovely(perasan) Tiramisu for Keith, next time siapa datang UK see me i'll make for them too! :)

btw i havent sprinkle cocoa powder kat atas cos will do it when we wanna eat later.. after dinner.. :)

meet the friends... Part 2 : Gay pub crawl...

so we reach Newcastle city centre in no time.. this is my first time exploring that side of town and also the scene..

the first place we went into was a lesbo pub, not very crowded, not noisy, good to chat and stuffs.. and it is where he showed me his clique, well, more like Tom and Jerry's as Keith is closer to TnJ, the rest are just like drink buddies kinda thing..

so in that group there were about 10 of them including me and obviously im the youngest, next one up will be about 35 years of age all the way till about 50yo? haha... and most of them are daddy-ish figure, some muscular, some scruffy.. tattoos and piercings are a common thing around..

so he introduced me to the group and i was like ok.. after vaguely knowing each and everyone's name i went to the bar to get a breather.. haha.. i feel so out of place, i mean, like im so much younger and like wow..

Keith walk to me and asked what i wanted to drink.. haha.. that sweetie..

mm.. i like sweet stuffs, no beer or cider please..

coke?

o.O what? no... Smirnoff Ice please!

O.O what? i thought you dont drink?!

well, i dont! duh!!! but this is like once in a blue moon thing! 

haha.. you sure?! 

yea... what are you having?

coke! im driving remember?!

so responsible!! *grab his waist and gave a good squeeze*

the first pub was still like ice breaking thing and the atmosphere to me is quite tense as i was like a new member of that aged groupy! haha...

i drank half way and they are crawling to another pub and Keith wasted no time and pop my bottle into his pocket and cover it with his sweater :)

what are you doing?

youre not gonna finish that arent you?

haha.. nope.. come on.. we are heading to the next pub.. they wont let you bring bottles in and out of the pub!

oh.. ok...

and off we went to the next one... bigger than Marketplace.. we were hanging about the upper tier and like im getting more comfy with the group.. started to talk with the others other than the usual Tom and Jerry...

there are so many hunky shirtless dudes carrying bottle of wines, vodka and champagne walking around trying to sell em..

Tom was tipsy by then and was like: hey you, show me your dick and I'll buy whatever youre selling!

that guy just smiled and walk away.. hahaha... super LOL moment...

i finish my bottle and off we went to the next pub.. hehe..

this one has an unoccupied dancefloor and i was like kinda itchy... dah la i didnt slut dance for like 2 years? hahahahaha.. and no one here in the group seen me dance before, not even Keith!

Honey, you want anything to drink?

yes please..

same thing?

no no.. Blue Wicked thanks! :)

o.O cool...

i saw Jerry slowly moving towards the dancefloor platform and was like just swaying beside it.. i took my drink and walk towards Jerry while pulling Keith along..

the slutty me want to go up so badly and cos the song was so boomz i cannot tahan and i was like pushing Jerry up stage kinda thing.. and he just looked at me and smile, nodding his head twice while clenching his upper teeth with his lower lips, asking me to join him.. hahaha... i was like ... err.. i looked at Keith and gave him a smile and my drink and i followed Jerry up stage..

the tranny DJ was like so boomz she gave us a formal introduction and say that this was a dance off!

omgoshhhhhhhhhhhhhh !! hahahaha...

so funneh!!!!! so Jerry started la kan.. he is really one of the hottest aged mixed dude daddyish figure ive seen around and like omgosh he makes me blush.. and when he finished doing his thang I did what i knew best, i drop it like its hot! hahahahahaha... i think Keith wasnt expecting anything at all cos like im so tame at home, he never knew i could slut dance! hahahaha...

to cut things short I won la kan and both of us got like 2 shots of some disgusting medicine smelling thing.. i gave mine to Tom, Jerry gave Tom his as well! lolllll.. when i went down stage Keith gave me a hug and we kissed.. haha.. ok la, that was the first kiss in public la and it felt good and natural..

Jerry was so hyped with the whole situation he didnt wanna let me go at all, he went up to the DJ and the next thing i know Gangnam style was on! and he pointed at me asking me to go up !!! hahah..

how did he know!??? i practised a bit of gangnam at home before and like omgoshhhhh.. it was so so so so hillarious.. quite potong stim la half way cos everyone is just looking at me and me dancing alone and i just went down after finishing one verse and one chorus! lol.. everyone clapped and like someone even recorded and said that he will youtube-kan it. -.- i told him not to but like omgosh... hopefully nothing will happen la k... i dowana be aired, so obvious its a gay club, tidakkkkkkkkkkkkk! lol..

after that Keith grab hold of me even more and it felt good..

i mean like, as compared to the first pub and stuffs, we were closer now, not to say i kept a distance or what but like i dowana be labelled as clingy or what.. haha.. and im kinda hinting to his clique that yes i am here, but he is still yours and dont change yourselves when im around cos im not a clingy shit. lol...

anyway... i had fun la...

to be continued...

Keith corrects my england -.-

the night before we went out for the nightout, after showering..

Babe, could you on the lights in that room(pointing towards a room with a full length mirror) for me..

*stun* what?

huh?

do you mean switch on?

-.- fine, babe would you please switch on the lights for me? thanks -.-

*giggle*

its malaysian english ok, live with it!!

*rolleyes*

ok fine, i shall speak proper english then!! so much for being comfortable around you...

awww.......... *big hug from behind*

:)

dont ask me why do i call him babe.. it just feels right.. haha.. he calls me honey.. am i that sweet? make sure no fucking bees come suck me then can liao.. hehe..

meet the friends... Part 1 : Before the nightout..

so saturday night Keith was like the responsible driver for the night and he picked up his two bestie(which is a couple) and off we went to the city..

but before that we went in to their place for a drink first cos one of them brought their dog out for a walk..

lol.. so when he parked the car liao he just walk into their house and the angmos are like dont really lock their house doors one lor so siao one.. "safe" neighbourhood kononnye..

his bestie lets name them Tom and Jerry la ok.. Tom was out with the dog and Jerry was at home waiting for us..

so as we walk into his living room, he came and greet us and gave me a hug..

omgucci he is the young and cutest youthfullest 40+ year old guy ive ever met!  he is half asian and maybe cos of that he looks young la.. we asians got the youthful gene ok *flip hair*...

after a few minutes of mingling..

Jerry, how young are you?

young? O.O im 42..

oh my go......d, are you serious? 

yea..

you look 24!!

wa.....thanks! haha.. 

i think he damn kembang for the night after that statement edi..... but he does really look young!! and he is mix hongkie and angmo,  so hot and like omgucci, too bad he is taken and he is keith's bestie! hahahaha.. i know, im such a slut, you know a lot of cases of sleeping with bf's best friends kinda thing? hehe, for my case, it wont happen dont worry!! hahaha... :p

anyway.. Tom came back from dog walking and Jerry was kinda worried and like asked

erm, wait, are you ok with dogs?

well yea..

are you muslim like?

-.-(i felt the sweatness in my brain la but i didnt express it out), haha.. noooooo..... no.. hahaha..

and then I looked at Keith and ask him well will it be different if I was muslim?

then he smiled and said to me: no, im an atheist, are you ok with that? err... im ok with anything as long as youre not too religious! lol... but if im muslim, then i cant cook all the nice bak kut teh and all the double braised pork and all for you(in an act cute tone).. then he pop his eyes with that silly smirk and raised both of his shoulders... haha.. feel like slapping him...

and then they started to ask me about how Keith and I met and progress and like those kinda stuffs la before we head off to the City..

to be continued...

im an Earth snake!!! and also a fengsui master!! :)

lol.. apparently being born in the year of Snake does not end there! they are still pokemon element thing attached to the animal.. and with the power of google, in 5.2344 seconds i found out that im an Earth snake!!

that explains why i dont like to use condom, maybe la... maybe.

maybe cos i like snakes, im attracted to LONG LONG tools that would stimulate all the hotspots in my behind!! :) lol..

I just got my long snaky hair cut and now i look 20 years younger, so young and cute omgosh, WAIT, that makes me 4 years old? oh my.. no cum produced yet tim... lol



so there are only 5 elements that is associated with each animal that coincides with the fengsui elements and thats how fengsui masters use them to con rich people in believing all those nonsense.. lol.. hahahaha.. not to say i anti fengsui or what la but i dont really believe la.. if the elements were discovered now, it will have lots more rather than just 5...

1. Fire
2. Earth
3. Wind
4. Water
5. Wood

those are the ori elements...

our generation will have...

6. Titanium (Sia)
7. Gold (Kanye)
8. Diamonds (Marilyn Monroe)
9. Lithium (Evanescence)
10. Calcium (Mother)
11. Sodium (Mamak stall)
12. Krypton (Superman/smallville)
13. Chlorine (gay swimming pool)
14. Platinum (bank card)

and so I can be fengsui master also what!

scenario 1

son, tell me your date of birth and let gorgor read out your windwater(fengsui)!

yes uncle!WHAT UNCLE!! GOR GOR OK! *clear throat*

okok... my date of birth is 32/14/3069

oooo... let me count har... *take out abacus* 

son, you are a CHLORINE COCK! 

WOW! so what does it say?

well, you will grow up to be a gay slut that will have sex with everyone, although you look hideous but you will know how to groom(cock's feathers are colourful) so you dont have to worry one.. guys will come to you naturally...

oh.. wow... thank you sifu... what about my luck this year?

well... this year is the year of the EARTH SNAKE... so its not quite a good year for you as snake eats cock and chlorine doesnt really mix well with the earth la basically the earth will mask all the chlorine..

very deep leh, can speak english arr?

means no sex for you for the whole year la!!!

O.O

whats your name son?

Tommy Kok

*whisper to self*no wonder so cock la ...

thanks uncle!

fuck what uncle?!! *runs* and fucker you havent pay me yet leh....

CNY so not... lol.. and preparation to meet the Clique!

so this years celebration is kinda not hot at all! lol..

not to say last year's is any better cos in Ang Mo land the atmosphere tak la boomz at all.. no holiday no ang anywhere.. its just dull plain cold cb shit... lol

and what makes things worse is that i need to work! :) lol... tuls, think of the money tuls!! okok!! you cannot be angry cos you are YOUNG N CUTE!!

i made Tiramisu on Thursday night, non alcoholic of course and went to his place without him knowing at 11pm at night and woke him up from bed! hahahaha.. he was quite shock that i went and was really glad that i was there and so was I.. I went cos friday no class and also its my first time making dessert..

from his expression i can see that he amat suka it and like he said that its his first homemade dessert that someone actually made for him.. hehe... so plus point for me! *TING*

he just fetch me home and i was there since thursday night and boy oh boy sex was on the to do list like twice a day kinda thing until my balls is now invisible as it is so empty it flattens! Lolllllll kidding! hahahah....

being around Keith is amatla comfortable and like.. hm... (we shall continue this feeling thing on another post)...

what i wanna say today is he just throw the bomb at me saying that his close friends wants to meet me this upcoming weekend!

OH MY GUTTTTTTTTTT!!!

why didnt you tell me earlier?

well..... they texted me like just an hour ago..

oh my.. really? oh my oh my... erm.... ermm... ok... do you think i should cut my hair?

erm.... weli think i should cut my hair.....

if you say so... =.=means you fucking want me to cut my hair... WELL i didnt say a thingbut your expression says it all you bast................urgh!!!

omgosh...omgomgomg... are you serious?

yea.. ok okokokok.. im gonna go cut tomorrow after getting my hep B jab.. wokay!!

so yup, next week is like meeting the family kinda thing omgosh.. and they are all around his age and like i feel like im gonna get interogated and all and like...

oh my....

what should i wear? how should my hair be styled? oh my... i cant breathe! lol hahahahahaha.... ive got a raised blood pressure and pulse and all those shit now adrenaline is pumping like cb... urghhhhh...

post-chlamydia-effect..

everyone, please practice safe sex arr.. that was what i learn from that Clam incident.... wanna short form-kan chlamydia makes me think of Sambal Kerang omgosh i miss malaysian food la cb!!

so anyways.....

its been 3 weeks already since operasi Clam and my sex life has never been this boomz.. its like as though the world is gonna end tomorrow and I have to fulfill every single sexual desire i have that hasnt been accomplished.. lolll.. hahahahaha.. we shall go into details as i have class in 30 mins.. this is just a quickie post ! lolllllll...

hahaha.. so basically the weekend over at Keith's would kinda summarized as eat, pray, love, but in my case would be, sex, eat, sex! lolllllll....

ive never been this horny in my entire life and even like now i feel like doing stuffs omgosh what is happening to me!?? lollll.. well maybe im just young and cute!? hahahahahahhaah....

today i berak right, the shit cannot flush down leh, and the shape resembles the thing that enters my behind, so you can imagine la... lollllllll... hahahahaah... and i feel so thin after beraking everyday ohmylord this post is getting dirties, literally dirty! lollllllll hhahaha..

its CNY this weekend, well, im not gonna celebrate it like, cos there is no chinesey feel in the UK anyway, and Keith is angmo so... lagi la nothing... loll... we will just celebrate it with LoveSEX, shall enjoy my having sex while im still young and cute! lololo...

i realize this post got lots of lol, kinda excessive actually, and some people find it quite annoying but i dont really care! :) see la, quickie post also become long winded already, niama!

anyway gtg, its snowing again btw... :)