t u l s

t u l s

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

im an Earth snake!!! and also a fengsui master!! :)

lol.. apparently being born in the year of Snake does not end there! they are still pokemon element thing attached to the animal.. and with the power of google, in 5.2344 seconds i found out that im an Earth snake!!

that explains why i dont like to use condom, maybe la... maybe.

maybe cos i like snakes, im attracted to LONG LONG tools that would stimulate all the hotspots in my behind!! :) lol..

I just got my long snaky hair cut and now i look 20 years younger, so young and cute omgosh, WAIT, that makes me 4 years old? oh my.. no cum produced yet tim... lol



so there are only 5 elements that is associated with each animal that coincides with the fengsui elements and thats how fengsui masters use them to con rich people in believing all those nonsense.. lol.. hahahaha.. not to say i anti fengsui or what la but i dont really believe la.. if the elements were discovered now, it will have lots more rather than just 5...

1. Fire
2. Earth
3. Wind
4. Water
5. Wood

those are the ori elements...

our generation will have...

6. Titanium (Sia)
7. Gold (Kanye)
8. Diamonds (Marilyn Monroe)
9. Lithium (Evanescence)
10. Calcium (Mother)
11. Sodium (Mamak stall)
12. Krypton (Superman/smallville)
13. Chlorine (gay swimming pool)
14. Platinum (bank card)

and so I can be fengsui master also what!

scenario 1

son, tell me your date of birth and let gorgor read out your windwater(fengsui)!

yes uncle!WHAT UNCLE!! GOR GOR OK! *clear throat*

okok... my date of birth is 32/14/3069

oooo... let me count har... *take out abacus* 

son, you are a CHLORINE COCK! 

WOW! so what does it say?

well, you will grow up to be a gay slut that will have sex with everyone, although you look hideous but you will know how to groom(cock's feathers are colourful) so you dont have to worry one.. guys will come to you naturally...

oh.. wow... thank you sifu... what about my luck this year?

well... this year is the year of the EARTH SNAKE... so its not quite a good year for you as snake eats cock and chlorine doesnt really mix well with the earth la basically the earth will mask all the chlorine..

very deep leh, can speak english arr?

means no sex for you for the whole year la!!!

O.O

whats your name son?

Tommy Kok

*whisper to self*no wonder so cock la ...

thanks uncle!

fuck what uncle?!! *runs* and fucker you havent pay me yet leh....


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43 comments:

  1. WilliamFebruary 12, 2013 at 12:12 PM

    Due to your BaZi, your 'cock luck' will always shine

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    Replies
    1. tulsFebruary 13, 2013 at 5:40 PM

      rearry? earth snake? rerry?! you also can tell fortune? wow!! boomz you! thanks!! :)

      Delete
  2. DannyFebruary 12, 2013 at 2:14 PM

    wow.. i 1 cycle older from you huh?
    so far got receive many angpau or not?

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    Replies
    1. tulsFebruary 13, 2013 at 5:41 PM

      you also snake arr? wow.. we boomz together ok?! i last year no ang pau at all, this year i got one from my takeaway lao ban! :) thats all... so sad but that one angpau already brighten up my week liao! :)

      we got no white xmas this year but we have white chinese new year! lolllll

      Delete
    2. DannyFebruary 14, 2013 at 1:12 PM

      ya wo.. snake snake together wo.. u earth snake... then i what snake ah? got laser snake one or not? ;p
      remember to wear cheongsam and walk in the snow during chap got meh .. show the angmohs our beautiful chinese culture....lol ;p

      Delete
    3. Chen XingFebruary 14, 2013 at 4:56 PM

      Wakakaka, super like Danny's reply.

      If you don;t have...let me post it over to you.

      :P

      *Green colour one, ok ?

      Delete
    4. tulsFebruary 14, 2013 at 8:17 PM

      lol.. youre a fire snake ma! thats why you so hot!! duhhhhhh!!

      i got no cheongsam one lol... i will be waiting for it CX!!! lol... i will wear it to gay pride!! :)

      any colour pun ok la!!

      Delete
    5. DannyFebruary 15, 2013 at 2:25 AM

      fire snake? i LIKEEEEEEE.... :)
      btw, CX bagi cheongsam, i sponsor hairwig sama itu kipas tangan & kasut embroidery cina ..
      can imagine how boomz you'll be ...:))))

      Delete
    6. Da Closet GuyFebruary 15, 2013 at 4:59 AM

      Fire snakes unite! Lol... Well, all snakes unite!!

      Delete
    7. tulsFebruary 15, 2013 at 11:57 AM

      hahahahahaha.. :) i will turn into "how yi duo mei li di mo li hua"

      DCG, i know you 2 cycle from me, jangan nak fire snake unite ok! lol.. kidding kidding!

      tuls!! must respect elder snake ok! lollllllllll

      Delete
    8. Da Closet GuyFebruary 15, 2013 at 5:04 PM

      Ma de fa de!!!! What two rounds two cycles?!?!? You don't play fire with fire snakes cos u'll get burn, boy! Lol... Respect all living things, not just elders, my boy. (:

      Delete
    9. DannyFebruary 17, 2013 at 1:22 PM

      it's nice to know other fire snake... maybe we can buat group then do show kat ... circus? lol ;p

      Delete
    10. Da Closet GuyFebruary 17, 2013 at 4:17 PM

      Do show?? Lol... Thank you but no thank you. Hahahaha... I'm too shy to show myself... Apatah lagi kat circus! Lol...

      Delete
    11. DannyFebruary 18, 2013 at 2:03 AM

      nvm .. i'll do the entire show .. and u just come out very last minute ( like towards the climax time like that ) ...lol ;p
      who else is snake huh? u, me, tuls....lagi?

      Delete
    12. Da Closet GuyFebruary 18, 2013 at 12:11 PM

      I cum out during climax?? Lol... I think I can do that. My cumming always surprises people around me.... Lol...
      Who else a snake?? Itu kucing miao miao yg bernama Jo in short. Lol... I think he likes to act, so can teman u ;p

      Delete
    13. Da Closet GuyFebruary 18, 2013 at 12:12 PM

      Oppss... Come out and coming. Typo yg disengajakan? Lol...

      Delete
    14. DannyFebruary 19, 2013 at 1:56 AM

      i think it will be problematic if they can't 'come out' during climax kan? ;p
      'always surprises ppl? " hmmmm... ... wondering .....;p

      Delete
    15. Da Closet GuyFebruary 19, 2013 at 12:33 PM

      Hmm... Too much info... @•@

      Delete
    16. Chen XingFebruary 19, 2013 at 2:54 PM

      Do circus, need tiger for the show or not ?

      Delete
    17. DannyFebruary 20, 2013 at 4:45 PM

      cx .. dun tell me u r the tiger hor?
      cos u look more like a snake than tiger lo ;p

      Delete
    18. Chen XingFebruary 20, 2013 at 6:27 PM

      Hehe, can I be the cute "oink-oink" or not ?

      Delete
    19. Da Closet GuyFebruary 21, 2013 at 12:47 AM

      Oh... Can be the one we all can makan after the performance? Lol...

      Delete
    20. DannyFebruary 21, 2013 at 2:15 AM

      cx .. u'll b the skinniest and vogiuest oink in the history ;p

      dsg .. u makan la .. i vegetarian ....lol ;p

      Delete
    21. Chen XingFebruary 21, 2013 at 3:58 AM

      @Danny: Haha, malnourished "oink-oink". Size 0.

      Hehe.

      @Da Closet Guy: Big fan of pork chop ?

      Delete
  3. Naughty PrinceFebruary 12, 2013 at 3:50 PM

    haha... earth snake...

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  4. Da Closet GuyFebruary 12, 2013 at 4:15 PM

    Ohh... Another syiok sendiri post!!! Lol... Well, the 5 elements are the major element in Chinese astrology. Feng shui and astrology are different but some how related. You can choose to believe or disbelieve but the chi-s are around us. Lol... Now I talk like that master Joey tim! Lol... Anyway, it's like the big guy up there. Most of us don't get to see Him in person but He has so many believers... Anyway, Gong Xi Gong Xi!! Day 4 of CNY! Today suppose to be my birthdate according to the lunar calendar. Lol... (;

    Btw, Danny is a fire snake! Probably that explains why he's so hot! Hahahaha... (:

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. tulsFebruary 13, 2013 at 5:44 PM

      happy chinese birthday? happy? lolllllll...

      and since you so power predict fire snake's hotness, what have you got to say about my earth snake leh? *cock stare you*

      i dont believe the chi and all but i also curse chibai la.. lol.. thats all i know! hahahahaha...

      Delete
    2. Da Closet GuyFebruary 14, 2013 at 8:03 AM

      嗯。。。谢谢您的生日祝福！哈哈哈哈。。。。

      Earth snakes? Well, snakes are cunning and/yet romantic and suductive creatures (think of the famous White Snake, 白素贞). They will do anything to protect their loved ones (family or friends). Since your bazi contains the Earth element, you are more down to earth compared to other snakes but they are also more stubborn compared to the Fire, Wood, Water or Metal Snakes. Lol... ;p

      Apa macam??

      Delete
    3. tulsFebruary 14, 2013 at 8:19 PM

      ei quite booomz la.. you want to sao lin with me in my waterwind gua tempurung northeast tak? :) i can help you mencapai moksya(go google if you tak tau)! :)

      Delete
    4. Da Closet GuyFebruary 15, 2013 at 4:57 AM

      Lol... I know. We snakes *ahem* are also intelligent bunch. Do you know that in Malaysia we have a Snake association? The only Chinese zodiac based association... Probably the only one in this world? Lol... Anyway, I dare not saolin with you. I scared you can't sit still and later all my power spoilt by you. Besides, I don't think it's time for me to start saolin. Will do that probably after the next 12 yrs cycle. My plan if I'm still single then. (:

      Delete
    5. tulsFebruary 15, 2013 at 11:59 AM

      ok la, you come saolin with me, i hit your back with two palms and your head exudes white gas and then you spit blood and all my powers will be transfered to you one, and you shall be master of all snakes and will combine with Slytherine in harry potter and rule the earth ok?! or maybe howgwarts! :)

      Delete
    6. Da Closet GuyFebruary 15, 2013 at 5:06 PM

      Hmmm... What power has the master of all snakes have, I wonder... Can I summon all snakes to be shown to me?? If yes, then I dun mind being the master. Maybe I will first summon tuls' snake to bow before me and do some snake dance. Muahahahaha... *insert evil laughter*

      Delete
  5. Chen XingFebruary 13, 2013 at 10:22 AM

    3069 is year of Earth Snake ?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Vincent GohFebruary 13, 2013 at 10:46 AM

    I like your 'cock story'....funny like hell! Quick make more scenarios...

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    Replies
    1. tulsFebruary 13, 2013 at 5:48 PM

      hahahahahaha...not easy one leh but it is doable.. ...see la how, when i got time..

      Delete
  7. JokerPJFebruary 14, 2013 at 11:50 AM

    Earth snake leh~

    What does it mean leh? This year ONG not? can fuck I mean huat alot?

    hehe

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    Replies
    1. tulsFebruary 14, 2013 at 8:21 PM

      refer to atas punya comment by DCG.. lol... i dont really believe one cos my fate is in my own hands, i create my own destiny and so must you! happy cny!

      Delete
    2. Da Closet GuyFebruary 15, 2013 at 5:32 PM

      The outline of everyone's destiny is predetermined but it doesn't mean that one can't change it. It's like drawing on the paper with a pencil. You can still use an eraser to erase if you don't like what you see or what you will see. At the end of the day, we are our own painter on that piece of paper (or canvas if you like). Well, everyone can believe in whatever everyone wants to believe (:

      Happy Birthday to everyone who's reading this on the 7th day of lunar New
      Year!!

      Delete
  8. Le ChatelierFebruary 14, 2013 at 3:29 PM

    Fuck! Ur one year younger than me! I thought ur older. LOL

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    Replies
    1. tulsFebruary 14, 2013 at 8:21 PM

      i get that alot.. -.- its ok la, i forgive you one! :) hahahahahahaha...cny mood must be woh ping...

      Delete

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