Dear bubu,

Was talking to badak just now and he said:

your heart is still very much in Malaysia, its so obvious youre not over your ex, and your reason for breaking up is not valid..

well..

its really not that easy to forget your first love aint it? i mean... well, although youre my second ex, youre still my first love, the one before you, its more like well not main main but like more like trial kinda thing.. oh well.. whatever la... you faham cukup..

whatever badak say is not entirely wrong, but my mindset is totally different..

so what if the reason for breaking up is not valid?

so what if im not over my ex?

there is nothing wrong if i were to think of my ex everyday of my life..

there is nothing wrong if the reason of breaking up is not valid, if you are separated means you are separated.. its not partial separation or some bull crap..

i dont or wont stop myself from doing stuffs i cant control, everytime i think of you i will smile.. it may sound freaky but its true.. because thats what will come into mind before the next person comes into picture(which sadly belum...lol).. and the smiling thing is just an outward expression.. haha.. just smile it away...

it would be easier to move on if there is someone new present as so they say, but its not that easy, not everyone that likes you is your type anyway..

im really tired of explaining actually.. yes, its not compulsory and i dont need to prove it to anyone.. but like..

badak, if youre reading this, thanks for your honesty, but clearly you dont really know what im going through.. you have your own issues to settle and so do I.. and if you really like that someone that you told me you do, then go for it and try talking to him.. if he reciprocates and you guys try working things out, I dont see why it is an issue..

anyway, im really tired today.. been up and down to the library for that sohai presentation prep... so tiringnye...

im still doing it now..

can rest la.. but i feel bad if my partner is doing something and Im not... but clearly it looks like im doing stuffs and she isnt but im just gonna ignore that and not assume.. haha...

night you..

dont sleep too late..