happy mothers' day mum...

i had a dream last night...

i was in a posh mall not sure where, and I was just walkin around, and i saw fried octopus on skewers(those sold in pasar malam 1 stick got a few small little deep fried octopus for RM2 those kind) but it was 5 pounds each stick instead of 2 ringgit so i hesitated to buy..

i missed it so so so much i could taste the octopus in my dream...

suddenly my mum came, she was wearing some fine evening dress which i will never see her wearing anytime forever knowing that she dont really do that look anyway but wow.. she came and i was so happy to see her but... wait... ok this is the moment...

guess who was she with? HAHAHAHA... she was with my friend's dad! :)

my friend's dad is a hot fine lad, seriously hot la in my opinion, personal preference.. anyway.... so apparently they are dating.. hahahaaha... and im not sure whether he wants to impress my mum or not he took one of the octopus sticks and put it on my hand and said: i bought already, just eat it, its my duty to do so...

haha.. i was so happy that instant...

they had to leave after that for some function i think, so.., as they leave i pull my mum back for a bit.. and said to her...

omgosh!!! youre dating him?!??! its gonna be so funny next time when i go out with dad and bumped into him and you... hahaha... but im happy for you la...  then she smiled back...

then i woke up...

just 4 hours of sleep..

feeling hungry...

but now that i think back about that dream.. tears start to roll down...

haha.. UK really changed me...

im more emotional liao... oh well...

*************

im not sure what is it about that dream la.. definitely not about my friend's dad or what.. but really that dream damn scandalous... must be all my ex-scandals that stir the pair up... lol

but.. im really happy for my mum la.. in that dream.

i mean.. she struggled all the way thru since i was young trying to be positive for the whole family when we are not doin well.. being the woMan of the house, she had to support the whole family of 4 with just a pay of just 2K a month and is just enough to cover all the utility bills etc but wont really have any extra to spend..

i started to work since i was 16 to help her out and the satisfaction for me in the sense that i could contribute to the family was overwhelming..

i remember distributing RM50 to each family member when i got my first pay.. then i brought my mum to Mid Valley and had a nice meal there.. nice meal for me then would be Kenny Rogers quarter meal set and i will defo order 2 potato side dishes! haha.. to me Kenny Rogers was like the comfort food i think.. so much memories there...

she always encourage me to study and do well and hoping that i can do well in life.. after form 6 we went for an edufair kinda exhibition thing also in Midvalley and thats when i decided to take up the course im doing now, she was there all the way, selecting it with me, weighing the pros and cons, cost etc.. and after realizing that doing a 2+2 degree to the UK would cost just a lil extra more than to do a local degree she looked at me and say: its really up to you... if you want to go, i will find the money for you..

back then i was like all hyped over it and all but also a lil concern about the duits la cos cant get gov loan if do overseas unless those JPA shit those kinda but ku bukan too smart or anything.. but now to think of it, so much must have went thru her mind too cos well its not gonna be easy.. nothings easy anyway..

i suddenly miss her.. i dont really miss her thruout the whole 8 months that im here so far cos im on skype 24/7 and she would drop me messages all the time.. and we skype when we need to talk even if its just for 1 min.. haha.. but yea, it just hit me suddenly.... i miss having meals at Kenny's with her...

2 years passed and i was preparing myself to come over here, during that period so many things happened.. i nearly got not enough funds to come.. lots of people thought i might not make it, i thought i wont make it but at last mum manage to get a loan and everything went smoothly after that.. well, not that she's on debt or anything cos she used her employees provident funds(EPF) money to pay it after that..

well, im very proud of myself too... haha.. *hair flips* i paid one semester's fees myself from all savings i collected along the years of working... and if that question: WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT SO FAR? were to asked during an interview anytime now for jobs im applying after graduating, i will say: To be financially independent since the age of 16 and able to partially support myself to come over to the UK.. 

i shall spare the elaboration bit..

anyway, before i really left house(my parents didnt send me off to the airport, dont think my mum wants that feeling of sending me away), she said this: if other people's son can study overseas, so could mine.. can sense the happiness and how proud is she of me in her eyes..


all i wanted was her to be happy la.. and in that dream, could feel and see that she was really happy.. i dont really mind if she were to go out with whoever's father or whichever guy... as long as she is happy..

well, i have got a new goal, hopefully i wont forget after writing this post.. haha.. is to make sure that she will be happy all the time.. haha.. she once say: bring me over when you get to settle down there ok, come back or not its ok.. if can stay then why not...

and so thats what i will do.. haha..

but yea, although we never celebrated mothers day back home,
happy mothers' day mum...
love,
tuls...