everything will be ok Tuls...

i've been rolling on my bed for hours now, this is the first time in my life i experience such thing..

the most i've rolled is about maximum half an hour but its been 3 hours now and I dont think I can sleep anytime soon...

my major final exam starts in 8 hours..

but thats not why I'm still wide awake..




so many things are just not right now..

i've called and texted my current employer several times but he did not reply. he told me not to worry about the job 2 months ago but now that I'm trying to contact him to clarify, he is not answering.

money from my dad never showed up, well, its been 2 years now. 2 years and I'm still paying my tuition fees with my own salary.

and because of that I've got not enough to get me my flight tix back home..



i'm so tired..




yes, i know nothing is easy in life and nothing always go the way we want... but I'm really tired..

i feel like I'm not really putting much effort into finding another job to stay here too, I will need to work on that after the exam if i really wanna stay, and cos this employer doesnt seem be much of a reliable person..



i feel so helpless and hopeless all of a sudden :(




no tears seems to come out..



its only a month left till my visa expires.. and if i really dont get a job then its goodbye UK and hello Malaysia?

hm...

well, there's nothing wrong in going back home but...

haha.. no buts Tuls, if its not yours, its not yours..



i just feel like finding a rich boyfriend and let him take care of me, i'll just be a good housewife...


i think im really qualified to be a housewife/maid.. i have a self proclaimed PhD in that field..

if there are any takers, please contact me asap...

i dont even have the sum ching to joke now... 

Russel and I: first date (part 2)

after dinner i took the courtesy to walk him back to his place as he lives just next to the train station which falls on the same line as the metro station where i live..

so this is me...

yea.... well, I'll probably get going too(pointing towards the metro)..

er.... well, do you wanna come up?

.....

.....

awkward....

well, you have deserts?

erm... i dont have much but i got ferrero rocher?

haha.. really? that'll do for me..

.... :)

but.....

well no but, come on...

you sure?

:)

and so i followed him up to his little apartment thing, we sat down on the sofa, he took the golden balls out from the cupboard, and i asked for a little milk to go with it..

we just chatted and talked over chocolate..

mind you its a two seater sofa so we were just sat next to each other, and somehow, im not sure whether im kinda "fat hiao"-ing or what but it started off with our legs touching each other, then i slowly kinda rest my legs on his a little, and we kinda sorta face each other while having our legs intertwined and just chatting... and then....

i think i cheekily looked at his lips from afar... and i think he saw that... and then i went up to him my lips were like an inch off his.. and then i just smiled and sat back down..  youre such a tease!

haha,..

i ended up kissing him for almost an hour after like.. we didnt go beyond that.. :) only kissing, but even so i guess it was quite a sudden thing, i mean, its our first date anyway.. but i guess we talked so much and kinda clicked at so many levels that we felt so comfortable with each other and kinda lost the whole no rushing into things scenario! lol.. well at least mine was breached! i used to have a no kissing with a stranger policy but.... oh well.. i dont know... maybe i was too dry... lol...

with him being a virgin he was really eager i can tell, and like there are times where i asked him to slow down! hahahahaha... virgins are the best, you can tell them what to do and they are more likely to take in what you want and will do as you like, well, thats what i think like... lol

but its good, there is the passion there, the drive is there, i kinda make sure that his junk is big enough and i think i made him so aroused he was so hard when we kissed and hehehe... lets just say i will be satisfied la if we were to have sex, LMAO well i dont really have a very high requirement of dick size anyway, the DRIVE is really important tho and you can easily tell that he is really into it.. hahahahaaha....  gangho virgin wohoooo....

it was almost 10pm and he walked me to the metro station and before i step into the train we kissed...

O

M

G

for the first time I PDA so openly omgosh......

and i was just all smiles....

people were staring but like i was too whatever to care.. haha..

and as i looked at him when the door closes, he gave me a wave goodbye and a courtesy bow -.-

who does that?

lol

such a dork!

such a cute dork omgosh! lmao!! make me smile even more..
haha...


oh so yea, that was kinda like the fast forward of our first date i guess..

:)