everything will be ok Tuls...

i've been rolling on my bed for hours now, this is the first time in my life i experience such thing..

the most i've rolled is about maximum half an hour but its been 3 hours now and I dont think I can sleep anytime soon...

my major final exam starts in 8 hours..

but thats not why I'm still wide awake..




so many things are just not right now..

i've called and texted my current employer several times but he did not reply. he told me not to worry about the job 2 months ago but now that I'm trying to contact him to clarify, he is not answering.

money from my dad never showed up, well, its been 2 years now. 2 years and I'm still paying my tuition fees with my own salary.

and because of that I've got not enough to get me my flight tix back home..



i'm so tired..




yes, i know nothing is easy in life and nothing always go the way we want... but I'm really tired..

i feel like I'm not really putting much effort into finding another job to stay here too, I will need to work on that after the exam if i really wanna stay, and cos this employer doesnt seem be much of a reliable person..



i feel so helpless and hopeless all of a sudden :(




no tears seems to come out..



its only a month left till my visa expires.. and if i really dont get a job then its goodbye UK and hello Malaysia?

hm...

well, there's nothing wrong in going back home but...

haha.. no buts Tuls, if its not yours, its not yours..



i just feel like finding a rich boyfriend and let him take care of me, i'll just be a good housewife...


i think im really qualified to be a housewife/maid.. i have a self proclaimed PhD in that field..

if there are any takers, please contact me asap...

i dont even have the sum ching to joke now...