t u l s

t u l s

Saturday, December 13, 2014

Tuls starts to work!!

yup yup... work starts on Monday, everyone wish me luck ok!! :) lol i dont think i need luck, i dont think i need anything, i just need to see Carter.. lol...

back when i was in UK i keep telling myself "i need to come back, i have to come back, i dowana go back to shitholeland"... but look at me now, im here! lol. i dont know, i feel like even then while i was working in the UK, i didnt really fight or put much effort into getting a job in the UK, everyone has been saying "its not easy", yup, immigration is really shitty and getting a visa is tough but it is not  not doable, ive been telling myself that its ok, i will get to come back here anyway, but i know i didnt even try at all..

after reaching shitholeland few months back, there were some stupid complication with my professional body in the UK and my registration and so that kinda delayed me apply for my professional exam in Msia and also affected my application for jobs in the UK. while i was working my way to rectify the problem with the pro body, i kinda enjoying the food here and also did some travelling around. that was also when i met up Carter and kinda changed everything. by the time the issue with the professional body was corrected, i was already with Carter.

if lets say i would have gotten a job in the UK back then, we wouldnt have met and we wouldnt have been together. if lets say Carter and I were to meet up a little later and if i were to get my practicing license earlier, without Carter in the picture i would have reapply to work elsewhere, maybe back in the UK and try to date a black guy that was kinda into me at that moment. lol. i can imagine Carter's face when he reads that line! hahahahahah...

each time i tell my friends that im staying here to work, and with them knowing im with Carter, they would say "you have to plan your future for yourself and not stay just because of Carter and etc". I know that they care and maybe cos they know that deep down i really dont like this place, and maybe they thought that Carter should understand and maybe go over to UK if i was there, i know. but the thing is, it is not like what they think. They didnt know the whole story but everything was ok after a little explanation.

ive sat down with my mum and also Carter, not together but on separate occasions and kinda work the figures out, of me working elsewhere and back home, and anyhow, i would have gotten just enough to cover everything in terms of expenses with not much extra to spend if i were to work overseas with my current work experience and qualification. and so ive decided to stay. in a way, i could kill x-birds with this stone. Carter would be nearer to me. not to say that he wouldnt if i were to go away, ultimately he would work his way over to come to where i was working anyway, im sure of it. apart from that i could spend more time with mum as well since ive been apart for a whole 3 years. well, in a way i still have business back here that i could easily say that i can leave behind easily which i could but it would be a lie if i say i dont miss them. 

since i left for the UK and being back here, ive gained a total of 15kilos. ive got bigger love handles now, haha, and i think it will keep getting bigger up until Chinese New Year next year and then i will start doing something about it! :) haha..

but yea,  TULS starts to work already, wearing shirts and shit, so whoever have got a work attire fetish, please come see me in KL ok lol. dont worry, im not overly obese or overweight, im actually at my ideal BMI now because of my height, but would be better if those kilos were muscles rather than fat stores :) haha..

Sunday, December 7, 2014

a glimpse of baby Carter tomorrow!

baby Carter will be back from work tomorrow..

he will be flying home from Vietnam so I guess I will be meeting him for a brief few hours in KL before he leaves to go back home up north...


cant wait!!!

i know its only for a short few hours but its better than nothing!!!!

im so excited!!!

Friday, December 5, 2014

How Carter and I met... Part 1

Well, what do you think? We met online, he said he was a reader of my blog. I think he commented once in my blog and then I replied, and i kinda click on his google profile and saw his contact or something and we started chatting. I have the goldfishies memory in mankind history so pardon me Carter if any of these were a little off. lol.

So we started talking through... .wait a minute, we started talking on facebook first, then from facebook we moved to imessage, then eventually we facetime. I was in the UK when we first contacted each other, so in a way our friendship was kinda virtual based. He said he has been following my blog since like forever, awwww, how sweet is that, i got a fan! lol.

we kinda connected on our first conversation then it just kick off. he was kinda seeing someone then and i was seeing Keith then too so we kinda both were attached in a way and wasnt available so it was a very mutual friendly kinda virtual friendship. i wanted to scroll up facebook chat to when we first started chatting but i dont think i can bear scrolling 130000 messages, thats too much,.. lol.. so... i will just have to squeeze my brain a little.. thats just facebook, it would be more on imessage, maybe twice the amount? gosh.. i cant imagine... lol

haha, we've always said that we will meet up when im back and when he is back, he was all over the world because of his job and he was never kinda stationary at one place. but it felt like forever for us to meet, he did plan to come to the UK before if im not mistaken but... it never happened for some particular reason.. cant remember why...

we talked almost everyday i think, and he would just ignore me during the weekends.. i always ask him why do you ignore me and his answer will always be: "cos you should spend time with Keith..", or whoever that i was with then, haha, even as friends he was so selfless, i mean it was really nice talking to him and vice versa, i think if im not mistaken we were talking while he was having sex at one point too, i cant imagine how did he juggle with that.. or maybe im just imagining things up.. but anyway..

we facetime whenever we could, i will always be half naked and for some reason his line will always be bad and 50% of the time i will only see a black screen.. lol..

we were online friends for nearly 2 years before im back to malaysia. throughout the 2 years we kinda talked about everything, ive never hidden anything from him before knowing that there isnt anything to lose if it happens assuming that he will always be a virtual friend anyway, haha.. so he had since seen the worse side of me, my bad habits, how i cook, how messy my room is, how i dig my nose, how i scratch my ass, how i fart etc... i shall not go on, lol, he hasnt seen me naked tho(then) lol, nor i have him. so yea haha...

ive never come to a part where i was even thinking that this friendship would develop further than it already has cos i know that he has attachments with "people" then.. and i was with Keith, and then little Tom and then the belgian guy and then the black guy so my life was kinda full house then too..

so after i came back to Malaysia, Carter has this crazy idea of meeting up, i wasn't really sure about it but he said he was coming down tomorrow and asked if i was free and i said yes and then he just did.. it was so spontaneous. i say came down cos he was from up north. lol..

anyway, he said he booked a few nights in KL and asked me whether i wanna go sleepover and we could catch up and I was like thinking to myself, why not?, ive got nothing to lose, im single and available, ive got no attachments, so nothing could go wrong anyway, and he said that there is another friend that would be joining us and so i thought wow, 3some sleepoever... lol...

so he came the next day and we meet for the first time, we meet after 2 years of chatting online, i was excited but for some reason i dont really feel nervous. not to say dream come true but like youve been talking to someone for so long and youve connected so deeply and for so long and you finally get to meet that person, it was really important to me..

ive connected with Carter at so many levels throughout this 2 years, levels that sometimes i didnt even know exist... it was nice, it was soothing, it was comforting, the feeling was great, connecting with Carter is like how your asshole would feel after having a dump, its just so relaxing and .... just... wow.. ok maybe my metaphor is a bit disgusting but the point is there...

so meeting Carter is like the next big thing to do..

we hung out, we ate, we talked, we reconnected, we sleepover. This trip, no hankypanky happen for some reason. My slut mode was switched on, it wasnt really all sexual with Carter, maybe cos of how long weve known each other for, I just dont have the urge to sex him up, not like he did anything at all during that trip and on those few nights we were together...

oh yea, the 3rd person came and join us during the day but not the sleepover, hence we have the whole place to ourselves, but nevertheless, we behaved, so much so that i dont believe it was me, cos i will never be this good of a boy with a stranger, lol, the thing is he isnt any stranger in my mind although physically he is very much.

...to be continued...

Monday, December 1, 2014

Carter liked me since I broke up with Keith? o.O


so, for those who dont know who is Keith, Keith is my bf when I was studying in the UK, well, one of, i had 2 but whatever. anyway, i think Carter was the only friend in Malaysia that i think i told keith of, Keith knows my besties in the UK and aussie but really, to think of it, both my White British boyfriends know about Carter..

thats a good start isnt it.


anyway, I remember talking to keith about Carter all the time and they always have conversation through me in a way, like Keith would go: hey are you talking to Carter? tell him i said hi. , and then once i passed the message then Carter would go: hey Keith.. lol.. , those kinda stuffs, like the conversation will be short and simple. lol

anyway, i dont really keep in touch much with the people in malaysia when i was in UK, due to... lots of factors, mostly are excuses but... haha.. oh well... nevermind, lets not go there.. but there were a few people that i do talk to, some bloggers, and also Carter. basically Carter knows all my bf-s too, weirdly enough and vice versa.

Well, couples do have problems, and whenever something happens I would find someone close to rant and talk to and Carter would be among those. lol. Carter kinda helped solved a few of my domestic household problems with Keith so, well its a good thing la, not to say he is like some counsellor or what la but like at least i get a third person's view on the matter, unbiased.... ..... to think of it, maybe he was! LOL hahahaha.. joking joking...

i still remember that when i decided to break up with keith and move out from his place, we talked a lot then, lol, to think of it we talked very regularly so i cant really say we talked a lot then cos we do talk alot all the time anyway.

but through it all i never felt anything from him at all..

he didnt give me the vibe that he wants me, he didnt give me the vibe that he likes me..

He was just there as a friend for me.

O M G, after Keith i met little Tommy! gosh... i kept talking about Tom to Carter.. like how cute Tom is, and how big Tom's dick was and ... gosh... it must have been really hurtful to hear that now that i realize.. hahahaha...

i mean what if the person you likes talks to you about some other guy, ewww, i will just either unfriend him, or just kill myself... lol hahahaha... awww... Carter o carter, i can only imagine the jealousy that ran through you all those times.. hahahahahaha..... LOLOL... poor baby carter..

i think it shouldve been tortorous for him cos i had so much sex after that and I kinda storied it to him most of the encounters ! shit!! lol hahahahahaha.....

aww... i feel bad now. but, well, whats done is done la, its just so funny to find out about this now!!! :)

its been a month now since we started this ship, guess we will be sailing this ship for much much longer :) so far we are still sailing in the sea of honey towards the moon, hope this sail never stops ! :)