t u l s

t u l s

Thursday, June 30, 2011

why are we immature??!?!

have you ever wonder why some guys are so immature?

have you ever wonder why are you immature?

sometimes we kutuk them like: yer... why is he so childish.. or

*rolleyes* please grow up la...


we do it all the time kan?


the thing is.. we are childish because we can!

we wanna be childish because we are still young..

and thats the only time we can afford to be childish.. once you step into the 30s... and if youre still chidish then.. the *rolleyes* will be permanent...

ok la. maybe not 30 la.. maybe below 25 la... once youre like 26 and still childish then maybe la you will considered immature.. 

not only bottoms are immature, some tops do it too.. they manja and all.. i mean.. its normal la..

some guys when they are like 18 or 19 and talk the big cock(not like its really that big) about the big political shit wanna be mature and all.. yes, its good to be mature but come on la... seriously? 18? please enjoy your life la... relax and chill la skit... dont waste your youth... 

i like to be immature all the time.. i hell care about what people say...

but when it comes to work and studies, its a total different me..

not like im living a double life, wait... basically all gays live a double life kan, we are men then loves men, isnt that a  doubly thing? kihihihi...

anyway... dont think we immatures are blonde bimbotic slutiches (slut+bitch+es)..

you havent seen the best of us..

if you dont like what you see then turn around, open your mouth wide saying : OH MY GO* and eat your fist!


Tuesday, June 28, 2011

joy to the world..

the tuls passed his finals with rainbow colours!! :) wohoooooooooo!!

im kinda working now and with so many things happening.. hahah.. i kinda like wanna stop blogging for awhile..

wanna go do my visa thingy, sit for my ielts, travelling thing to sg etc...

will drop by once awhile after this..

maybe after i go to UK the real tuls will appear! hahaha... of course wont be as cute as those in Nate Hill's blog but yea.. im still sellable ok!! hahahahaha.. *perasan*

Thursday, June 23, 2011


people love to assume.. i do it all the time.. 

i like to assume that bubu is tired after a long day, then i will intentionally let him rest on that day but he will ask me why dint we go according to plan to watch movie, have dinner etc... and i was like

i thought youre tired?

when did i say im tired?

but its a whole long day for you, like 8am to 7pm...

yea.. so?

arent you tired? still got energy to go out arr?

*annoyed stare*


when did i say no when you ask me out de...

haha.. ok la... chill la... ok ok... lets go for the movie then... im just worried that you might be tired...

we always assume things that we think aboutt, but its 90 percent not the case, sometimes we assume just to make ourselves better, to comfort ourselves, sometimes we assume for the sake of the other party, sometimes we assume for fun, sometimes we assume because we got nothing else better to do.. but assuming is never a good thing.. you either confront the person and ask them or dont do anything at all.. because we dont need your assumption!

everyone assume tuls is this this that that.. when i meet new people off the net as tuls, they will be i thought youre this, i thought youre that.. THOUGHT? think again.. dont assume you know someone just by reading some of his books or article or his blog, some might be fiction and some are over exaggerated..

dont ever assume you know how it feels to be in a state of someone else's situation just because youve been through it before, every situtation is unique on its on.. dont say you understand, that irks people out sometimes.. 

just dont assume...

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

random facts..

so i was tagged to write about random facts.. erm... ok here we go..

1. fingernail grows nearly 4 times faster than toe nails
so you better go cut them before fingering ok.. you dowana lacerate your ass then no anal for you tonight..

2. during sex, endorphins are released, which are powerful painkillers
no excuse to say, aiyah headache la dowana do tonight can arr? NO SUCH THING!!! FUCKKKKKKKKK!!

3. the catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.. 
i wont wanna be a catwoman either.. gone la one time blowjob can taste syphilis or herpes or some std.. hahahaha...

4. cold shower actually stimulate your sex drive!!
you guys know what to do la next time :)

5. a pig's orgasm last for 30 minutes.
ohmygucci! thats why they call us pig bottoms! hehehe!!

6. the strongest muscle in the body is the tongue..
so rim me baby! yea!!

7. The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight
next time we dont need no tongkat ali or red bull, we drink SEMUT! or RED ANT!!

8. the vibrator aka sex toy was initially designed to treat pms...
no comment on that.. muahahahahaha

9. the protein in sperm tightens your skin..
so guys, you can do masque with it! but if your face starts to turn red means youre allergic to sperm! hahahahahaha....

10. There's almost 500 different types of bacteria in your mouth. Almost 50% of them live on your tongue
so.. still wanna french arr? or just a peck? hahahahaahah 

(blogger cannot upload pic today.. sien)

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

presint 2 my ass!!

cos of the visa application thing i need to get myself a certificate of good conduct.. *rolleyes* as though its a crime to sleep with 200 mans... anyway... i was directed by the address to presint 2 in putrajaya... and fuck presint 2 cos the road signs are not that clear at all i end up first round at the police station, u turn and then reach to some presint something... its stated there presint 1, 8, 10-22... so where the fuck is my presint 2?!?! anyway i decided to head to presint 1, cos logically 2 should be beside 1 and ok la.. so ngam it is... i pass through that nice-looking-from-afar bridge but not so nice from dekat...

anyway... reach jor that presint 2.. i thought of just park my car somewhere and walk...  and so i parked.. the bangunans are like those so kebesaran(not to say that im jakun or what) like it can transform into some transformers those kinda shape and colour.. anyway.. i parked at PRESINT 2.. some big carpark and then went down and ask for direction to the foreign affair ministry..that officer lookalike pointed to me at the second traffic light turn left and then said that i will see road signs after that.. the second traffic light looks like 1 2km away... so much for walking.. walk my ass la walk.. and so i drove...

fuck that shit i turn at the second traffic light and there is no fucking sign that says ministry of foreign affairs.. i stop the car and then ask a kind hearted old man by the road side, he ask me to go back out to the main road and turn right the second traffic light and the building will be on my left... second traffic light again.. ok fine.. and so i followed his directions and voila i turn at the second traffic light and all i can see on the left are trees and forest... the sign turn left says taman wawasan and wisma putra.. so fuck i dint turn left and i made a u turn because that area im heading looks very jungle-ish.. so i stopped by the road side and look at the map by the bus stop, thank goodness there is one and i try looking for ministry of foreign affairs.. and guess what.. the area is near wisma putra or was it in wisma putra.. fuck that shit man... fucker ask me go presint 2, this place when i reach there have to go uphill de leh... like going to some palace like that covered from the public view, how the fuck should i know there is a bangunan up in the bukit jek? and how is wisma putra = presint 2? they should specify where ma...  write la wisma putra... stupid presint 2 slap them, fuck la presint 2 so central but the foreign affair shit is so sankala...

anyway i reach and enter with my armpits all drenched in sweat can see 2 bulatan big big dark blue...ewwwwww... when i wanted to enter the bangunan that lady shouted at me, then i went over, then she say

saya boleh tembak kamu, kamu tau tak?


tak nampak ke sign sana, kena register..

*gave IC*

*hand over pass*


the sign to register is so small, and the booth to register is hidden, so how the fuck should i know that you need to register? and the mother effing gate is open so i just entered la... next time please put a sign big big, 

Monday, June 20, 2011

reality vs superficiality PART 2...

recently the acid splasher thing is going crazy in the kl selangor area and so we had a brief talk on it tibe tibe..

b, you know the acid splasher thing right...


what if one day i kena acid splash... and we are both very in love already.. like this long liao la.. what will happen?

erm... *look at bubu in the eye*


so? *expecting something positive*

erm.. i will still love you, but it will soon fade somehow....

what the hell!!! i was expecting "i will always love you no matter how you look like"...

bwahahahahaha.. OI, sorry la...

yerrrrrrrrr.. you not romantic at all..

ok la, put it this way la, if i kena acid splash, the face is like cement like that, i also will somehow either leave you or make you hate me so that we wont be together.. then you will be better off me, seriously...

but if you kena acid splash i will still love you lor...

arr.. dont be ridiculous... no need to jaga my hati.. lets be realistic ok!

yerrrr.. i dowana talk to you already...

hahahahah.. idiot dont talk about this topic la! CCHOYYYYYYYYYYYY!! no one will kena acid splash la idiot!!

call me heartless or not romantic, you can even hate me, i dont really care.. but seriously deep down ask yourself, is looks that important to you? they say  love is blind, so is my ass! 

its nice if the person looks decent, you start to mix with him and all, then his  outstanding personality starts to shine then you started to like him and then get together and his decent looks will somehow become beautiful in the long run, and sometimes bonus some guys looks hotter when they age.. call me superficial, but i am! to a certain extent, if you can find someone that is not superficial at all, i wanna be his best friend till i die, seriously. that species is extinct, even the ugliest guy on earth is superficial, you believe me or not?

if you and your bf had an arguement over this kinda superficial realistic issues, you can ask him to grow up and get a life, slap him in the face and say, this is not your dream, we are in the realistic world, take me or leave me! bwahahahahaha... 

Sunday, June 19, 2011

happy fathers' day..

so bubu and his siblings are treating the hot dad for this fathers' day lunch and asked me to come along :) it was some fancy japanese restaurant and superbly awesome!! makan until super full... later that we went for a movie and then dinner then desserts...

b, so today you happy or not?

why? so random one...

yala.. i mean.. 

mm.. its been one whole day with you hor..


of course happy, if not happy also cannot, you know why?


because it is "HAPPY" fathers' day.. of course la happy..

=.= '''

Saturday, June 18, 2011

reality vs superficiality...

was having a serious talk with bubu last night...

is dick size really that important to you?


so, what if i make my dick bigger for you? i googled it just now for some exercises that could make it longer maybe like an inch or two or something..

err... please dont... pain enough already...

....*rolleyes* but, i thought you love it big?..... ok put that aside, what if we dated for 3 months and suddenly you found out that my dick was small, what will happen?

it will somehow be different, as in.. sooner or later.... as in.. it will just not work out..

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! youre so superficiaL!!!!

what?!?! im just being realistic

but seriously la... why not you just ask to have sex on the first date or why not ask me about my dick on the first date then?

well of course we need to generate a good impression before anything, what will you feel if i were to ask you about your dick size on the first date? will you be mad and leave the place or something?



but, how can you be so superficial?

i am just being realistic, i know what can satisfy me and what cant... its preference, like some guys prefer to fuck trannies, i just need something that is substantial! once that is settled then everything is tolerateable, cos thats the only thing on the body that you cant change...

yer.. such a slut..

i know :)

but seriously, what if you date someone very very innocent and very traditional.. the person who like give it to you until after 3 months and by then you fall for him already.. and then only you realize his dick is small.. how?

no such thing, takkan wont touch wont grope wont blowjob and stuffs.. sure got one... can check one...

but what if he dont let all these...


*both laugh out loud*

those who are virgin and first timers, yes you may say love conquers everything, but sex is important too.. dont just say aiyar sex is nothing, if you love me you wont mind the sex.. yes it may be true for SOME couples but for most(at least those who done it before) people, it does make a difference.. not to say that if you have a small dick you wont have a boyfriend, its all about preference, there are guys who love guys with small dicks, there are guys who likes transgenders.. once you have done it, you will know :) not encouraging sex or what, just a heads-up :) muacks you guys!! muahahahaha...

Friday, June 17, 2011

excessive masturbation...

i dont think i need to explain much further..

summer holiday = free time = too much free time + boredom + horniness = excessive masturbation

the end result is...

my whole body has been aching for the past 3 days now and still ongoing to the point where i think im gonna die.. hahahaa...

even when im sitting down my biceps and triceps hurt.. when i stand and shower i cant stand stationary at one position for long my calves and my thighs hurt like crap...

muscle fatigue wtf...

will i die? gosh...

i want this feeling to end..

and i tahaned jor... 2 days no masturbation.. still belum baiks..


oh when i say excessive masturbation i mean like more than 4 times a day for a consecutive few days ...

this is call padan muka but....haih....

belum kena joloks pun sakit.. hahaha.. memang tak guna...

Thursday, June 16, 2011

outbreaks of breakouts...

im not talking bout war or diseases ok!

pimples :) 

i know, its so kelakar how my blog is turning into some funny lame info blog.. muahahahaha... 


have you wonder why you have pimples? for those who doesnt have any you can off this tab now thanks. *rolleyes*

im not jealous.......................... anyway....

ask your mum and dad, if they have pimples when they were in their teens, you probably will get it too.. im specific, i said probably... not certainly ok! *rolleyes* anyway...

if they dont and you do have then sorry la, you have it la.. but there are certain ways for you to avoid them...

mostly breakouts are induced..

1. stress
2. dirty contact
3. sucky diet
4. cosmetics

for the stress part, just have lotsa sex to destress then can jor, you only have 24 hours a day, dont make it 25, you might just die the next day and you dont even know it so enjoy life!

for the dirty contact, very easy nia, never touch your face with your hands, avoid any long lala fringe from touching your forehead or face, hands/hair = oil = trap dirt = face = dirty contact..

wash your face with a suitable face wash... it doesnt need to be expensive, as long it doesnt cause your face to be too dry or too oily.. not all face wash is suitable, if you develop irritation or redness then throw it away or give someone else to use..

sometimes when you dont wash your face properly, and when there are still some facewash cream or lotion on your face, that will cause breakouts too.. i always slap my face with water from the atas especially these parts...

these are a few places people tend to miss out while washing their face, if facewash are left there for sometime, it will suck out the moisture in that area making it rough and dry and your skin will start to peel and breakouts will happen.. especially the jawline and the hair line.. so rinse with lotsa water :)

diet i cannot say anything la, malaysia food heaven, eat everything la.. just make sure drink lotsa water and kurangkan oily and spicy food... say only.. no one cares.. muahahahaha...

gays use cosmetics mou? erm... some vain ones do lor.. go to the club and you can see dozens.. muahahahaha...oh well.. oi leng mm moi meng... cosmetic block pores, clogged up pores + dirt will result in pimply red spots.. kihihi.. natural make up.. muahahaha...


first impressions are crucial! so.. water up people! :)

Wednesday, June 15, 2011


shit comes in all shapes and sizes and colours..

they say that baby shit are the purest.  have you seen baby shit before? hahaha.. its yellowish brown.. if your shit is yellowish brown means youre super healthy? hahaha..

well lets say youre experiencing constipation and you shit out a long one.. be it whatever colour.. after awhile while the shit is still floating, try to observe the colour change, the shit-berg (iceberg) part is darker than the parts that are in the water.. thats because the shit  that are in the water absorb water turning it soft and lighter in colour..

for those who have dark shit colour, its either youre not taking enough fibre and water or you have some condition that makes it that way.. fibre retains water.. and when you put your nestum cereal into a bowl and add water it will terus berkembang and macam soggy soggy like that right? same like the shit, if your shit is full with fibre, it will become soggy and retain water and that makes it easier for you to shit!! :) 

and hard shit tears your hole.. no anal sex then! :) 


leaf up people! :) go for leafy greens, cereal biscuits and lots and lotsa fruits :)

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

have you been to hell?

we always use hell to enhance the severity of the condition, hot like hell, smelly like hell, itchy like hell, fat like hell, ugly like hell, short like hell, tall like hell, pain like hell..

have we really been to hell?

is hell really all that?

how do you know hell exist?

where are we going after we leave this land?

eee... dowana think... hahahaha.. tak masuk akal...

but i love to watch hellboy.. its random i know.. but .. lalalala...

i look like men with red spots now.. ugly like hell.. its is not itchy like hell but i still have a headache pening like hell.. have to go and register my ielts which is damn far like hell under the hot sun which is hot like hell with no car, really damn "suay" like hell man...

Monday, June 13, 2011

red moon...

b, guess what? i saw a red moon just now?

oh where?

*stun* what do you mean where?

er.... *blur*

the sky la! omg!!!!

hahahahahaha.. what?!?!? how would i know?!?!

you think what? i was at the ldp just now i saw the moon is red and reach home the moon is blue is it?

hahahahaha.. ya what!! why not?!?!?!


although the moon is usually white (we all know its the reflection of the sun that gave the shine but just think like dumby for now ok), but sometimes it may turn red for god knows why.. its like human, you may think you know us very well.. but some parts of us you will never know until we show it.. so never assume! i know... its damn kebodohan.. but at least i tried to reason.. hahahahaha boleh terima? hahahaha

Sunday, June 12, 2011

she knows jor...

so this afternoon i woke up with spots all over my body.. its not like normal spots and i dont have like fever or something so i thought its an allergic reaction to whatever la.. my bed ke.. the dust ke.. mosquito ke.. bee ke.. pollen ke whatever..

then i showed my mum..

come lets go see doctor now!!


lemme see.. your leg got or not? your back leh?

*took off clothes*

*look at me* why you dont know how to take care of yourself one?


you know the keyboard so dirty everyday you play the com dint wash hand before going to bed right?


hands so dirty then go sleep, you go overseas next time dono how you take care of yourself...

er.. what the hell, how do you even know i dint wash hands? omg... *laugh*

dont laugh, you got play those kind of things or not? *look at me seriously*

what the...

i tell you you better not play arr.. see all these spots, internal one...

what the... *eye got bigger*

i know.. starting very nice to play.. after a long time, finish playing edi then no one wants you already...


ok ok.. come come lets go...

and so we went to the clinic, got some antihistamine, and calamine to apply... mother o mother...

Saturday, June 11, 2011


i went for a chinese wedding dinner recently and its been awhile since i went for one, this time around got roasted piglet omg my favourite! its so tak halal i couldnt kiss my ex love it so much!!! sorry AZ.. anyway..

so my mum and i was sitted with a bunch of aunties and they started to kepoh la as usual..

wah.. your son so big edi arr.. wah.. so leng zai arr.. wah.. got gf arr... wah this wah that! omg! i feel like slapping them but takde la..

then when the whole conversation died down, while the rest of the aunties were like still on going with their other topics among themselves, my mum was like saying..

hm.. dono how la next time when youre married... dono got people will come or not..

err... *look at her* im not getting married la! *smile*

hey, you better not play a fool i tell you..

*look at her with strained eyes* what?!

hmm.. we will talk at home!!

*both quiet*

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA... its been quite a few days jor but yet she dint start the discussion yet, i think she forgotten jor.. hahahahaah... she wont understand de la anyway.. hm...

Friday, June 10, 2011

watermelon boy...

bubu and i was like in this korean food place in MV just to try out the set lunch thing cos murah ma while waiting for our movie to start and we makan and makan then habis jor the waitress came with a plate of i think 5 watermelon slices..

bubu took a bite..

mmm.. erm.. b, you try and see..

being the fruit-hater me, i usually wont try de even if terpaksa also wont try but cos i give face so took a bite lor..

*bite* erm.. oh.. normal..

spoil edi arr?

erm.. nola.. i think got plastic smell nia, normal la they wrap with plastic..

he took my piece and took a bite.. eeeeeeeee, not nice one i think spoil edi.. *put down*

*took the third piece and a bite* eee... spoil also..

*took the fourth piece and a bite again* mmm.. not nice also...

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.. cibai siao kia, you know spoil still wanna try!! wtf!!

what?! *smile* i love watermelon!!

stupid! muahahahahahaha

sometimes we know that something is amiss but we still wanna try it out and hope that maybe its not.. humans are like that lor.. sometimes we know that our bfs are cheating on us but we still try not to believe.. ngam mou? hahahahahaha.. eating watermelon can relate to relationship! power leh! i know... hahahahahaha.. this is specially dedicated to Chen Xing a rainbow in me....

Thursday, June 9, 2011

bakuteh chocolate..

so yesterday it rained from like 3 till God knows when and i so happen to fall sick the same time it rained.. it was cold and i was having a headache and my rose is running, tissues piling up.. damn sucky feeling..

called bubu and az to cancel the meet and called mum to get me dinner when she comes back..

*door opened*

come, i bought bak kut teh for you!

when youre cold with running nose, nothing beats bak kut teh la...

after finishing everything.. i thought of popping two reese's chocolate that i got from temasik..

opened the wrapper of the first one... was gonna pop it into my mouth and then...

OI!! what are you doing?

er... eat la!!??

cannot cannot!!


you just had bak kut teh and youre sick!!! cannot cannot!!


come, give me! 

*pass it to her*

i eat...


and the other one.. give it to me too...

*look at her..*

*she looked at me*


siao bitch, makan my chocolate!! eeeeeeeeeee.. hahaha.. but it was hilarious..  only i can call her bitch cos im the son of a bitch :) i love my mum!! :)

Wednesday, June 8, 2011


haha.. yes indeed that i paused blogging only for like what, less than a day? it doesnt even make any sense but yea..

some people say im doing it cos i lack of attention, oh please.. *flips hair* i cant stop them thinking what they want.. nexT!!!

the fact that i receive tens of emails concerning about this thingy and i was like so tersentuh like ET touching human like that.. among the few..

Am just a silent long term follower of ur blog. Always chicken out when I want to leave comment in your blog. ><

Haiz just when I wanted to start giving comments, you stopped liao.... ><   I was shocked when I saw your blog webpage just now. :(((( Well, hope to read more from you and yeap, STAY STRONG!! totally agree with bubu's latest post, you shouldn't be defeated. Do update more, there are lotsa fans of u out there! 

u are the first gay blog i started to read, and i love ur blog deeply, in ur blog i found that funny, power and encourage !!! hey no matter what happened u and ur bf keep on ur life style!!!!!!!!!! i will never forgot your blog!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

it was nice getting feedbacks lor seriously! muahahaha... ok fine, shout please i can hear it already!! what? lack of attention? whatever!!! hahahahahahh...

and the fact that my hands are so itchy i kenot la just full stop period dont blog.. haha.. a bunch even requested the old post to be placed back.. lets just say it will be after screening thru.. i cant risk people whom i know before this life to know about my colourful past.. lalalala...

thanks for your suPPROTZ, tuls will remain... kihihihi...

gossip gays..

Monday, June 6, 2011


its been an awesome year since i started blogging, made lots of friends from thru this, some close ones, some not so close ones, some online based, some meet on a daily basis, some flings, some that hate me.. haha.. 

one thing i learn as a gay blogger, you either embrace yourself fully as one like Eric as Takashi @ PLUBOY or stay anonymous forever. If you are afraid that someone might know who you are and yet you wanna blog about gay related stuff, just forget it.. mouths are everywhere.. you cant stop other people from talking, but you yourself can dont blog and no one will know..

recently there are mouths around saying that tuls = (my real name).. one sampat can spread the rumour to 7 sampats.. and the cascade go on.. yea.. you might say that what the hell who is tuls, he think he is so popular is it? haha.. these aunties are just around my neighbourhood, i just dont want it to reach my parents..

ive seen the destruction that some has done to my friends, i cant let it happen to me.. i dont need another stranger come telling me that i should follow the light all those nonsense crap.. haha.. at least i get myself a job first, stable down.. and if my family were to found out then and to disown me, at least i dont have to worry about anything but for now i guess i will lay low.. haha.. hopefully not long cos my hands quite itchy de sometimes.. hahahaha...

to all the old ginger bloggers, keep up the good work spreading gay love in this gaylogosphere, to the new comers, you guys boomz and tambah minyaks alright! i know.. im being dramatic.. as usual... muahhahahahaha.. 

if youre reading this, thank you for being an awesome reader, muacks to you :) my last drawing :)

to my kawans, you know where to find me.. to my future kawans, there is always my email kat bawah tepi kanans :) hahahahahah..


Sunday, June 5, 2011

Poll : Long Distance Shit...


33% You will not have sex for the ONE WHOLE YEAR but jerk off to porno to kill the lust  
31% You will websex with your partner when the urge is there                                               
18% You will fling around but not tell your partner if he asks        
11% You will make it an open relationship
4% You will stop the relationship before getting over                                                            

its over 106 votes so.. 

wow.. i mean.. like 64% of you still wants the relationship going..

good for you guys..

bubu and i was like talking about us the other day and bubu was exceptionally worried about it.. about the whole long distance thing.. cant really blame him, im his first bf and i will be going over for like at least 2 years... everyone in the right mind should be like a lil concern..

i told him not to worry and its easy for me to say cos im going to a whole new environment while he staying back here, seeing places that we went to before and food that we ate together will be a lil harder for him than it is for me..

hope that he will be occupied with work and his dance so that it wont like worn him out missing me *perasan* 

we cant really foresee/foretell the future so just let it be first.. 

if we got jodoh after this then.. :)

haha.. dowana think about it la.. still got like 3 more months before it happens..

Saturday, June 4, 2011

singapura - the culture

1. the walk fast fast

seriously everyone is like rushing everywhere i have no idea where they wanna go.. usually in some halal countries you can see the escalator both the left and the right side everyone just stand there nia.. relaks.... but in sg, the left side usually stay put but the right side macam asyik ada orang nak lalu... i experience a few blonde moments when i just terstood there on the right side then terkena the EXCUSE ME thing.. so memalukan.. hahahahaha... and during peak hours omg.. the crowd is even worse.. the escalator moving and the people on it all moving.. so funny.. hahahaha.. seriously like they are rushing to go reincarnate or something... sometimes i just laugh one side... oh well.. advance country wtf..

2. bags

at the mrt station you can see de lo, especially the ladies, if its not coach then its  gucci.. everyone has got an least a MENG PAI bag.. and the LONGCHAMP thingy, almost everyone is carrying it lor, old auntie, young girls, even the MENS! seriously de! i was like what the fuck?!?!?

3. language

i was at the central part most of the time and everyone seems to speak only english..hm... you watch all the channel 8, UTV, channel 5 and all in johor, they all crap in mandarin kan? but central semua cakap english... and you can sense de lor when you speak mandarin got double standard they will look down on you.. you know what i did? being the good chinese boy my mum raised me to be, i speak MANDARIN all the way to irk those son of toooot! and when they really fucked me, i FUCKED THEM BACK WITH MY ANGMOH-ISH ENGLISH FUCKING ACCENT.. NABE!!! take that la..then they stare at me.. and my cousins will just laugh and we just walk off.. the more they hate my mandarin, the more i speak loud loud in fronna them..

4. tan

maybe its the gay thing here.. cos all the guys here are tan.. i think most of the gay ones la.. if youre fair, you cannot make it to be gay? unless youre either lala, lala gays are fair.. or the ah beng gays... if not usually all the hot gays are all tan.. if youre not tan, they will look at you one kind? correct? hahahahahaha,...

5. body

most of the guys here all quite well built de lor.. is like you go anywhere also got de.. the face cannot make it then too bad la but still got body de.. hahahaha.. seriously sometimes you can see even old uncle the face like cement like that but the body still got shape de leh.. really pui fok.. hahahahaha...

6. car mentality

a friend once told me about a story where in uni this ugly guy is despised by all the friends but when the girls found out that he has got a car, they all POK JU go attached themselves at him.. i mean got so melampau or not? heard that the permit to buy the car is as expensive as the car? hahahaahah... so gua cheong.. so malaysians please dont become PR and drive there so that all the girls will cow you ok! hahahaha...

7. attitude

ok la.. this one got nothing to say la.. i think everywhere in the world everyone will also got this sombong kinda thing but there is this one time i was in isetan shaw house was at the calvin klein area and this four eye-d attendant was like looking at me, i was talking to my cousins then, in mandarin, whatever la, he got no smile one like the lips kena botox cannot move one, some guys the face so ugly edi some more dont smile look so slappable then after that he went back to his other colleague and like i think talking about us i was kinda ter-irritated i went thru all the calvin klein shirt and take up one by one pretending to look at the size and not ngam throw back and mess up his whole troley of clothes NABE KAU, you go and lipat back your 50 percent off shirts la bastard... mess with the tuls.. eeee. benci benci.. hahahahaha.. i also quite jahat la.. hahahaha.. but whatever.. *flip hair* moving on...

8. fred perry

just because the shirt ada some coloured stripes and some of them macam rainbow then all the gay guys beli them is it? hahahahaha.. seriously one alot of them wearing this shit hear lor.. and like the logo is like some padi sawah where malaysia state flags a few of them also got.. damn kelakar! hahahahahah... we can go like, is that fred perry? or is that a PERLIS STATE SUPPORTER?! hhahahahahhahaahhahahah

9. metrosexual

was at kedai dobi god and this straight couple was like holding hands and the bf was like wearing so tight the shirt like gonna explode anytime and the way he walks like catwalk like that omg!!! me likey.. kalahkan so many perempuans... hahahaha.. 

10. kiasu

the kiasu definition here should be pointed towards like whenever there is something new(nice or not), people will go and kepo and try, for example the bubble tea shit GONG CHA, i mean its not really that nice but the queue to buy that shit is like what 20 30 person queue.. i was like what the fuck?!! it doesnt make you hotter in any sense people!! and the walk fast fast thing.. seeing everyone walking so fast it also makes you wanna walk faster - KIASU! HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAH.... 

oh well.. 10 things.. should be enough gua.. hhahahaha.. cant think of anymore for now...

overall i enjoyed my sg trip... cant wait for the next installment :)

Friday, June 3, 2011

singapura - the makans

the food places here damn awesome de.. they dont really like cater to the muslim cos you can get babi everywhere! hahahah.. like seriously!! 


had the onion loaf, half a loaf omg its so awesomenesS!! thats like appetizers and the main is like guess what!! BABI!!!!!!!!! WOHOOO!! St Louis Sampler is like this four different flavour cut of pork ribs which you cant get it in the halal country omg its the yummiest ever! like seriously must go try kinda shit!!! its so tak halal i feel so refreshed after makaning it.. hahahaha.. *rolleyes*


Bread Talk and Toast Box is like the in thing here! every 10 mins of walk you can have one of them or maybe both in fronna you and the queue at peak hours are like siao!! omg the flossed buns are fucking good and guess what?!!! hehe.. its Babi floss again! hahahahaha..some malls itself has got like 3 branches in it.. like so keganasan to the max man!! so boomz!! i always order my milk tea, half boiled eggs, and the floss buns for breakfast and tea breaks :)


this place is kinda secluded, but unlike that halal country, this one got pork chop oh em gee!!! damn worth it and damn hiong la this pork chop thing, 2 slab of pork chop that goes with a soup, dessert, drinks, sausage, and aglio olio sphaghetti for only 18++ dollars.. yummy...


awesome place again, had like tens of slices of sashimis, salmon belly omgucci!! love the desserts, they have the eclair thing thats so awesome! you have your grilled menus the salmon belly and the bacon with enoki mushrooms are to die for!! and also they have like a variety of tak halal soups! muahahah... another tak halal place..


we had the braised pork intestine!! fucking nice.. the Putien Style century egg omgucci is delicious, the steamed cold pork belly with garlic sauce yummY!!!!!!!!!! fried brinjal with pork floss was okok.. maybe cos i makaned too much pork floss jor.. hahahaha.. and lastly the fried hing wa mihun!! its filled with seafoods and mihun finer than normal mihun.. the sweet corn juice is a must try! :) *wink*


there were belly dancing performance from where we sat and all the ang mohs out with their gadget camera smua smua asyik record and snap snap snap like hamsap lou like that... and the boobs.. wah.. dono push up or real de... must go press and see


one of my favourite, some halal country macam tak dapat cari only.. so difficult.. only get to taste it when my bestie belikan untuk i from aussie..

so basically thats it la.. tak makan sucky food so far this trip so tak lah complain so much, food wise the impression masih baiks! :) muahahahaha...

Thursday, June 2, 2011

singapura - the places

so i was kinda hilang entah ke mana for a couple of days.. kihihi... was in singapura man!! wohoo!!

my passport sudah diunvirginized already!

was in johor for my grandpa's birthday then went with 2 cousins of saya masuk woodlands, dapatkan EZ Link card saya yang worth 27 dollars, MRT-ed all the way to some dobi thingy! hahahaha.. dhoby ghout station! sounds so like the kedai dobi, anyway...

went there for like 3 days 2 nights kinda thing, almost walk the whole central area jor lor!! anyway so these are a few observatory shits collected and jotted down lor :) only around central la.. tak pigi more outskirts de places..

1. Bus Stop Depan Rumah

serious shit, buka pintu depan is the bus stand jor!! awesome kan?!! hahahahaha..

2. MRT connects everything!!

turun jer HDB flat kami walk tak sampat 1 minute sudah sampai MRT station!! FUCKING AWESOME MAN!! masuk jer MRT it will bring you to anywhere you want to go, wont even kena rain, wont kena sun! that city link thingy links 3 different malls together its like damn freaking awesome lor, i first time there so macam jakun maze lost world shit! muahahahaha... you can even go to the airport and like study there for exams man, there is so peaceful and like so convenient to go to.. i would lor if i live there..  maybe SG small la thats why can like so.. like.. yea.. like that la..

3. Orchard Road itself got 4 Zara outlets!

omg!!!!!!! its like heaven leh!! Zara has like his own bangunan, TOPSHOP jugak, like 3 three storeys tim..

4. No need car!!

unlike some countries, this one boleh jalan anyhow you want and everywhere everyone walks! you basically dont need a car! heard that there are some plans that the MRT line thingy will be more extensive in the future that will cover almost every part of sg! now also damn awesome jor.. in future mai lagi awesome..?! i walk from Clarke Quay station all the way to the river walk thing, pass thru ONE Fullerton, pat my merlion, walk walk walk reach entah ke mana macam mana then got double helix bridge then marina bay sands.. the view at night is damn awesome lor.. and wont sweat de damn keawesoman! hahahaah..

5. Conveyor Belt catwalk thingy

the MRT stations there in SG has this long stretch of walk way but to make distance short there is this conveyor belt thing kat dhoby ghout station, i asyik catwalk jer when i pass there.. one day i think pass like 3 4 times lor damn sampat! hahahaha.. erm.. there is this underpass in ONE Fullerton jugak that has that conveyor belt thing.. damn awesome..

6. Sentosa

this place quite ok la.. bayar a few dollars then can enter jor.. universal studio saw the globe, bought some reese chocolates, my favourite!! went to the beach, there are a few there la.. but we went to the one sounded most like tuls slut thing so went to the SILOSO beach.. just because ada the S and the L ! hahahahahahahaha... but nothing much there la.. waste time.. so panas then cos went in the morn.. so in the end gulp on mcflurry and sit the tram shit back to the station and off we left.. hahahahaha..

7. Movies - Grand Cathay

the grand cathay hall is like the awesomemess place to watch movie lor, unlike some cathay somewhere, this one the kaki can stretch damn far out and the hall is freaking huge! hahahaah.. stupid tgv niama tak guna ban for life that one!! ooops! terwatched KungFu Panda 2, sorry bubu, my cousins belanja so.... kihihihi..

8. Clarke Quay

all my bimbotic ang mos gather around here lor!! i went there on a tuesday night and it was kinda pack jor.. cant really imagine on weekends.. must be filled with angmos... gay ones should have i think.. heard that zirca thing on sunday night is kinda awesome de.. kihihihihi... must go see see one day.. maybe cos i went was malam so kinda mazy again, i know that place is like partially indoor-ed with some air con blowing out from hole like thingys with bars and clubs by both sides of the place.. whatever you call it.. damn damn pack lor.. that small clarke quay thing i think got around like 50 or more bar thingy/food place lor.. damn saturated.. awesome shit..

9. Places I went

Vivo City
Suntec City
Raffles City
Marina Bay Sands
Marina Square
Shaw House
Paragon Shopping Centre
The Cathay
Somerset 313
Ion Orchard
Tanglin Mall
Wheelock Place
Clarke Quay
Double Helix Bridge

10. Funny Names

BRAS BASAH - wet bras
BUANGKOK - throw cock
ESPLENADE is pronounced as ass-ple-nate BUT
PROMENADE is pronounced as PROH-ME-NUT
so funny right? both NADE but different pronunciation in the MRT stations and i was like WTF?!! cant you just standardize this shit!