t u l s

t u l s

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

long distance relationship...

after today's accreditation interview, i thought of asking bubu out for lunch since i'm so near his place... so i called...

b, miss you la..

yeah, i miss you a lot too...

just finish my thing, can i see you?

err... my class starting soon.. i need to go uni edi..

really cannot arr?

cannot... ...sorry arr cant teman you today...

nevermind la.. see you soon then..

bubu, its been 3 days since i last saw you, and now i'm missing you badly.. it hurts the most at night when im all alone.. you might think that im being dramatic and all.. oh well..

im going over to UK next year.. and its a whole 3 solid years or maybe longer... just these 3 days makes me so uneasy... i wonder how bout 3 years...

long distance relationship, can i count on you?

Saturday, May 22, 2010

is it all about sex?...

we were side by side in McDonalds chatting with random guys through online websites last night  from 9-1. its so ridiculously funny to think of it, where in the world can you find a gay couple doing things like this?!?! hah.. maybe it exists but we were doing it without realizing until 6am just now.. its like we are competing among ourselves to see who gets more views or more messages from various sites then boast to each other after that.. haha.. thats so lame.. and we can do that without feeling guilty and whatsoever.. its like damn omg.. 
not competing for customers but competing to get more "guys" hahahahahah

i admit that im the more aggresive one in the sense that i actually give my msn inviting them to talk to me, its not like i dont have enough friends or what but whats wrong with making with more friends right? 

*stare at each other*

b, you know right that we are flirting and talking to random guys online?

*smile* yeah i know.. its been hours already...

*smile* so pathetic right? hahahahah

i went out once with this one guy for dinner after bubu and i got together.. it was a friendly thing to do as it was my second time doing this, first was with bubu, anyways.. we went for dinner, after that just walked around the shopping mall for fun before going for desserts. We talked a lot along the way and somehow im not sure what happened out of a sudden he bit my shoulder!!?!? i was like err... i smiled and then just pretend to act normal and walk.. ok.. fine.. i know i was being a bit too friendly in a sense that makes people misjudge my real intentions..

so.. you wont go meet them wan hor?...

kin kor guai ng pa hak meh? (english direct translate seen ghost before not scared of the dark arr?)

how would i know, maybe you like leh?

i know bubu doesnt like me seeing other guys but at first i really thought it was a friendly thing like what bubu and i did on our first date. that worked out fine!! haha..

i know la you still blaming me for going out with that bit-shoulder guy right?


but really, i receive lots of request asking for sex over the net, are we gays all about sex? i used to be a TULS and i've went through the constant sex game for years. its enjoyable yes but sometimes its so stupid just to do it just to satisfy our lust or craving just to get worried in the end for stupid diseases.. haha.. if its unprotected then its even worse la..

sometimes they ask you out for a friendly date to watch movie or to the clubs but their final intention in also to get into your pants. so i dont see a point to meet people over the net if they request to unless.. unless.. emergency.. haha.. that to be discussed in future..

i promise you i wont meet these people no more ok...

you sure?

im doing it for myself and also you ok.. unless emergency la... 

what is emergency...??

um.. got la.. 
but nola... if you know that their real intentions are really just to make friends then i dont mind you meeting them la..

huh? ok...

you must bring me along when you meet them ok?

haha.. ok.. i tell you what.. i will chat with them online first.. friends are made without any conditions right..? so after a period of time of chatting and talking we will actually know their intentions so meet after 2 3 months after chatting should be no problem one... and yes.. i will bring you along..

i love you b..

love you too..

Friday, May 21, 2010

no more surprise...

bubu and i were in The Curve just now, watched Shrek Forever After.. It was a nice watch.. So after the show, we went to Little Taiwan to have some desserts, and coincidentally i brought my laptop along so i switched it on, just go through my mails, then he went and check his mails, and his manjam trevvy mails as well *rolleyes* 

wah, so many people message me in just 2 hours la..

really arr? go lo.. go talk to them la...

jealous arr? dont jealous jek... *smiling*

nola.. im fine.. go la.. i also got.. you think i dont have arr...
so i log out his account and entered mine.. 
no one messaged me and my tracks are lower than his.. sweat..

yala yala.. some people very popular la.. gola.. go....

wah... my msn so many people add arr? *eyes pop out*

erm.. hm... wah it seems like someone is getting all the attention..
i saw the people that viewed me viewed him too.. cos we are linked by partners, they most prolly will check him out after checking me and vice versa... but mostly him la.. fine...

then he was like tekan tekan tekan... chatting with them non stop..

out of a sudden he said..

b, your lappie can take pic arr?

which century are you in, i was thinking silently.. haha... er, can, we took quite a number of it before wert.. remember? no?

got meh...?

i went searching for it... finally got it.. under the web cam media folder, once open, poped out lots of pics of us and also some videos i've made..

hahaha.. i sing alot, plus my absolute vain-ness, i cant resist any camera shots.. anyway.. back to the folder, bubu was very curious and some of it i was singing naked.. haha.. so he was very eager to listen to some of it, i pushed him away to take back my lappie but he tickled me and took my lappie and that went on for a whole 2 minutes.. i nearly ran out of breath! so 38!! at last i gave in...

when he was unaware i quickly close the lid and it went into hibernation mode.. haha.. but he manage to open it and access those folders.. foolish me for telling him my password.. and voila.. he played those embarrassing videos in public.. hahahaha oh gosh i felt like dying..

i totally forgotten that theres this video that i made last week that is to surprise him for our next occasion and pop, without knowing it, he ON the video for 5 secs, heard the line, blah blah blah DEDICATION TO MY BABY blah blah blah then he stopped the video and pop-out-eye stared at me...

baby, you made me a video?


oh my god.. im so sorry..


still staring at me.. i looked away..

sorry be...

yup no more surprise...

so sorry...

we were okay after 5 minutes... but.. yeah.. no more surprise.. hm.. have to come up with another one.. so far i think ive came up with more than 5 surprises.. haha.. ideas running out.. not sure how long can i still come up with surprises... 

: ( im okay bubu, dont worry.. i still love you..

Thursday, May 20, 2010


when you love someone...

you wont mind if he hits you... you take it as if you like your man rough...

you wont mind if he scolds you... you like him talking dirty in bed...

you wont mind if he cheats on you... you would fantasize a threesome with that somebody...

i just met that someone who wont mind all these and comes up with excuses just to console himself..

there is always a limit to everything..

now he is single..

but yet he is starving himself and not eat till he is sick just to save up few thousand bucks to pay back to that ex of his, for his so call living cost when they were together...

his ex is a highly respected person in the entertainment industry and yet he is so cheap...

what type of person would do such a thing? CHEAP!!! CHEAP!!! CHEAP!!!

the worse thing is his ex goes out and boast about how he ill treated my friend...


Friday, May 14, 2010

1 down 3 to go...

Awesome! so I'm done with my first paper! 1 down 3 more to go. The paper was not that difficult after all. What I've studied in my notes barely came out for this exam. This module touched more on the practical side of the whole course and some questions are general knowledge based on day-to-day interactions with people over the counter.

Universities are no longer like your foundation year or say your high school or so.. They are not so examination based but more to coursework and such. I have 4 modules to do this year and finals only covers 20 percent to 30 percent of the module for all modules. The rest are based on assignments, presentations, your portfolios, lab test etcetera..  

The finals are also not as cramped as before where you have 2 papers of different subjects on the same day and it is continuous for like 3 weeks. haha.. That is so pathetic just to think of it. You basically have to memorize everything for the past 2 years you've studied (for high school SPM), lets say 24 chapters of biology topics and its experiments, and the exam only test you on 3 - 4 topics. haha.. That is only for one subject, there are 6 compulsory subjects, and the minimum subjects took by a student is lets say 10 on the average. This is so what stressful just to think back.. 

Now, i only have 4 papers, one week one paper! wakakaka.. You don't just sit down and do "face-booking" the whole time, varsity courses tests your skills along the way throughout your whole academic year. You might not be good in memorizing your facts but you might be good in your hand job.. as in practical skills wakakaka...
Hopefully in future the government will try to implement more courseworks and pracs in the syllables and not too exam oriented :) oh well.. we just hope for the best.. I'm glad that my high school days are over!!!!

missing you bubu..

Wednesday, May 12, 2010


Tomorrow is officially the first day of my finals. It's not like I'm very confident or what but I just don't have the heart to study. I cant say that I know everything that will be coming out but.. you know.. oh well.. will study harder for the next paper. Still procrastinating somehow.. Bubu kept on rush me to study and yes I will always nod and agree what he has to say but in fact I'm really kinda sick of studying and cant wait for the finals to end so that I can start to work.

So far I have not gotten any job offer nor did I go look for any. At first i thought of giving tuition classes to the junior high students but the thought of me going off to UK next year and will be ditching the students off half way somehow disturbs me and so i decided not to give tuition. The pay is good but I just don't like leaving things hanging half way.

What am I to do? Sulk here all day sitting in front of the computer listening to Korean songs? no.. I have to do something about my life. I've not been a very good son lately. I've raised voice at my mum, ignoring my dad's words, not contributing to the house chores at all. Feeling kinda unfilial somehow. I cleaned the toilets today, mummy will always smile whenever i clean the toilet.. hope to see her smile tonight :) My house is in a mess now, will have to rearrange everything once my finals are over.

Wohkay!! Back to studies now!! Miss you bubu...

Tuesday, May 11, 2010


Yes. Finals are just around the corner, to be exact 2 days from now and i'm still blogging here, checking those time consuming websites, youtubing.. I'm not taking this first year of mine seriously. Oh my.. what is wrong with me??!?! This stupid mentality that the first year's result wont be taken account for honours caused this, plus my laziness,... Procrastination. someone.. please help...!! No one can help me except myself right. Ok then. I will try to study :)

2 days ago..

How was your studies so far?

Erm.. I haven't started yet. 


But I've printed out all the notes.

Surf the net sumore la.. Go fling and meet people thru the net sumore la..

Sorry la.. i will off the internet tomorrow.. no internet = study


So.. hows your studies so far?

er.. just started.. (actually i still haven't done anything yet.. was onlining the whole day)

really arr? why are you still online?

er.. checking my messages thats all.. i will off it tomorrow so no more disruption.. hehe..

HEHE?! thats what you said yesterday!! hehe!!

sorry lo...


we dint talked at all.. he is not online.. we dint even sms..
bubu i miss you...

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Happy Mothers' Day?...

I would like to wish all mothers out there a very 

Happy Mothers' Day! thanks for raising me till now making me who i am today. i know you will be disappointed to find out that i'm gay one day. i'm really sorry. i cant do anything. its just who i am. you cant give me a pair of boobs and a vagina and expect me to drool all over it. i just don't have feelings over those, i'm not aroused by those. i like man's chest and ding dongs. i know it is hard for you to accept but hopefully, if you are ever to find out one day, you will try to accept me lil by lil as time pass. i really do love you and i'm really sorry if i were not what you had expected me to be.

to Bubu's mum,
Happy Mothers' Day auntie. i know you are pissed at us doing things in your house, i'm so so sorry that we did that and made you disgusted by our actions. it is understandable that you don't like me coming up to your place anymore because for the fact that we have done things in your place multiple times, but bubu and i just cant control our feelings. actually it is mainly me, i will ask bubu for things because i'm constantly horny around him. if you ever ask bubu to choose between me and his family of course he will choose his family. i really hope that day will never come. you have been a great mum to bubu and me for the past few months and i appreciate it a lot. may you be healthy always.
by the way i've sent you an sms auntie, hope to get your reply soon :)

i love you bubu!

Saturday, May 8, 2010

First Times...

Just got home from a movie. Went dinner with 2 "brothers" of mine, their treat and went to watch IP Man 2 at Cineleisure Damansara with Bubu and D. After the movie, my brothers went back and so did D, then Bubu sent me back home. This was his first. Many First Times happened this week..

Huang Xiao Ming as Ip Man's disciple in the movie. psssss... he was burning hot!

resource: june-jubilicious.blogspot.com

First time Bubu got so angry that he actually ignored me and "attack" me without me knowing the reason.

First time Bubu sent me back home.

First time Cal picked me up for dinner.

First time had sex in genting.

First time tried all the rides in Genting including the selero shot and the cockscrew!

Oh well, there will be more to come! I think so :) i love you so much bubu


2 days ago when i was reading through my notes preparing for my exam the next day, i got a call from bubu. 

b, what are you doing now?

studying.. how was your dinner?

it was all right.. i have a special delivery for you..!!!


come down now!!

i am downstairs!! huh??

ok.. come out now!!

went out! hey b!


Apparently my bubu got me a new pair of jeans!! haha.. knowing that the fact that my jeans was torn a week ago, he bought one!! We were window shopping for my jeans the other day and i tried on a few jeans at Zara, Topman and a few other place as well. I told him that i would get it once i get back in shape because I had gain a few kilos for the past few months. That slick lil boy was like observing everything without me knowing! omg!! He knew the my exact measurements and now this surprise! he drove all the way from mid valley to my place at 12 midnight :)!! haha.. 

it is our 4th monthlyversary gift from me to you.. you have been showering me with lots of love and gifts.. so this is for you.. smile

shocked!! thanks b! hug

i was kinda angry at bubu at first for wasting money getting me such an expensive pair of jeans but he say he was sincere so i accepted it happily. Bubu is a very thrifty person, he does not simply spend his money, this is his first. 
Was it because of  me ? ? ? i love you bubu!!

Coming out...

hey there.
there is a first in everything isn't it?

first time you walk..
first time you ride a bike..
first time you get a reward..
your first roller coaster ride...
your first paycheck..
your first car..
your first apartment..
this is my first..
my first blog..
my first confession..

Im Gay.

I was closeted for many years now. Still is. But maybe now I don't care about people finding out what my sexual orientation is. I'm officially out!

*opening the closet*

This is not an easy thing to do. So far I've told only to three of my close friends and no one else. My parents are against it. My mum definitely is but not sure about my dad. They are so used to nieces and nephews getting married and sometimes wonder when will i show them my girlfriend and all.

Haha.. The day will never come for them to see my Beautiful Girlfriend but maybe a BOY!!?!?!? :)

Oh well, i cant do anything but just hope for the best.
i love you bubu..