t u l s

t u l s

Saturday, December 13, 2014

Tuls starts to work!!

yup yup... work starts on Monday, everyone wish me luck ok!! :) lol i dont think i need luck, i dont think i need anything, i just need to see Carter.. lol...

back when i was in UK i keep telling myself "i need to come back, i have to come back, i dowana go back to shitholeland"... but look at me now, im here! lol. i dont know, i feel like even then while i was working in the UK, i didnt really fight or put much effort into getting a job in the UK, everyone has been saying "its not easy", yup, immigration is really shitty and getting a visa is tough but it is not  not doable, ive been telling myself that its ok, i will get to come back here anyway, but i know i didnt even try at all..

after reaching shitholeland few months back, there were some stupid complication with my professional body in the UK and my registration and so that kinda delayed me apply for my professional exam in Msia and also affected my application for jobs in the UK. while i was working my way to rectify the problem with the pro body, i kinda enjoying the food here and also did some travelling around. that was also when i met up Carter and kinda changed everything. by the time the issue with the professional body was corrected, i was already with Carter.

if lets say i would have gotten a job in the UK back then, we wouldnt have met and we wouldnt have been together. if lets say Carter and I were to meet up a little later and if i were to get my practicing license earlier, without Carter in the picture i would have reapply to work elsewhere, maybe back in the UK and try to date a black guy that was kinda into me at that moment. lol. i can imagine Carter's face when he reads that line! hahahahahah...

each time i tell my friends that im staying here to work, and with them knowing im with Carter, they would say "you have to plan your future for yourself and not stay just because of Carter and etc". I know that they care and maybe cos they know that deep down i really dont like this place, and maybe they thought that Carter should understand and maybe go over to UK if i was there, i know. but the thing is, it is not like what they think. They didnt know the whole story but everything was ok after a little explanation.

ive sat down with my mum and also Carter, not together but on separate occasions and kinda work the figures out, of me working elsewhere and back home, and anyhow, i would have gotten just enough to cover everything in terms of expenses with not much extra to spend if i were to work overseas with my current work experience and qualification. and so ive decided to stay. in a way, i could kill x-birds with this stone. Carter would be nearer to me. not to say that he wouldnt if i were to go away, ultimately he would work his way over to come to where i was working anyway, im sure of it. apart from that i could spend more time with mum as well since ive been apart for a whole 3 years. well, in a way i still have business back here that i could easily say that i can leave behind easily which i could but it would be a lie if i say i dont miss them. 

since i left for the UK and being back here, ive gained a total of 15kilos. ive got bigger love handles now, haha, and i think it will keep getting bigger up until Chinese New Year next year and then i will start doing something about it! :) haha..

but yea,  TULS starts to work already, wearing shirts and shit, so whoever have got a work attire fetish, please come see me in KL ok lol. dont worry, im not overly obese or overweight, im actually at my ideal BMI now because of my height, but would be better if those kilos were muscles rather than fat stores :) haha..

Sunday, December 7, 2014

a glimpse of baby Carter tomorrow!

baby Carter will be back from work tomorrow..

he will be flying home from Vietnam so I guess I will be meeting him for a brief few hours in KL before he leaves to go back home up north...


cant wait!!!

i know its only for a short few hours but its better than nothing!!!!

im so excited!!!

Friday, December 5, 2014

How Carter and I met... Part 1

Well, what do you think? We met online, he said he was a reader of my blog. I think he commented once in my blog and then I replied, and i kinda click on his google profile and saw his contact or something and we started chatting. I have the goldfishies memory in mankind history so pardon me Carter if any of these were a little off. lol.

So we started talking through... .wait a minute, we started talking on facebook first, then from facebook we moved to imessage, then eventually we facetime. I was in the UK when we first contacted each other, so in a way our friendship was kinda virtual based. He said he has been following my blog since like forever, awwww, how sweet is that, i got a fan! lol.

we kinda connected on our first conversation then it just kick off. he was kinda seeing someone then and i was seeing Keith then too so we kinda both were attached in a way and wasnt available so it was a very mutual friendly kinda virtual friendship. i wanted to scroll up facebook chat to when we first started chatting but i dont think i can bear scrolling 130000 messages, thats too much,.. lol.. so... i will just have to squeeze my brain a little.. thats just facebook, it would be more on imessage, maybe twice the amount? gosh.. i cant imagine... lol

haha, we've always said that we will meet up when im back and when he is back, he was all over the world because of his job and he was never kinda stationary at one place. but it felt like forever for us to meet, he did plan to come to the UK before if im not mistaken but... it never happened for some particular reason.. cant remember why...

we talked almost everyday i think, and he would just ignore me during the weekends.. i always ask him why do you ignore me and his answer will always be: "cos you should spend time with Keith..", or whoever that i was with then, haha, even as friends he was so selfless, i mean it was really nice talking to him and vice versa, i think if im not mistaken we were talking while he was having sex at one point too, i cant imagine how did he juggle with that.. or maybe im just imagining things up.. but anyway..

we facetime whenever we could, i will always be half naked and for some reason his line will always be bad and 50% of the time i will only see a black screen.. lol..

we were online friends for nearly 2 years before im back to malaysia. throughout the 2 years we kinda talked about everything, ive never hidden anything from him before knowing that there isnt anything to lose if it happens assuming that he will always be a virtual friend anyway, haha.. so he had since seen the worse side of me, my bad habits, how i cook, how messy my room is, how i dig my nose, how i scratch my ass, how i fart etc... i shall not go on, lol, he hasnt seen me naked tho(then) lol, nor i have him. so yea haha...

ive never come to a part where i was even thinking that this friendship would develop further than it already has cos i know that he has attachments with "people" then.. and i was with Keith, and then little Tom and then the belgian guy and then the black guy so my life was kinda full house then too..

so after i came back to Malaysia, Carter has this crazy idea of meeting up, i wasn't really sure about it but he said he was coming down tomorrow and asked if i was free and i said yes and then he just did.. it was so spontaneous. i say came down cos he was from up north. lol..

anyway, he said he booked a few nights in KL and asked me whether i wanna go sleepover and we could catch up and I was like thinking to myself, why not?, ive got nothing to lose, im single and available, ive got no attachments, so nothing could go wrong anyway, and he said that there is another friend that would be joining us and so i thought wow, 3some sleepoever... lol...

so he came the next day and we meet for the first time, we meet after 2 years of chatting online, i was excited but for some reason i dont really feel nervous. not to say dream come true but like youve been talking to someone for so long and youve connected so deeply and for so long and you finally get to meet that person, it was really important to me..

ive connected with Carter at so many levels throughout this 2 years, levels that sometimes i didnt even know exist... it was nice, it was soothing, it was comforting, the feeling was great, connecting with Carter is like how your asshole would feel after having a dump, its just so relaxing and .... just... wow.. ok maybe my metaphor is a bit disgusting but the point is there...

so meeting Carter is like the next big thing to do..

we hung out, we ate, we talked, we reconnected, we sleepover. This trip, no hankypanky happen for some reason. My slut mode was switched on, it wasnt really all sexual with Carter, maybe cos of how long weve known each other for, I just dont have the urge to sex him up, not like he did anything at all during that trip and on those few nights we were together...

oh yea, the 3rd person came and join us during the day but not the sleepover, hence we have the whole place to ourselves, but nevertheless, we behaved, so much so that i dont believe it was me, cos i will never be this good of a boy with a stranger, lol, the thing is he isnt any stranger in my mind although physically he is very much.

...to be continued...

Monday, December 1, 2014

Carter liked me since I broke up with Keith? o.O


so, for those who dont know who is Keith, Keith is my bf when I was studying in the UK, well, one of, i had 2 but whatever. anyway, i think Carter was the only friend in Malaysia that i think i told keith of, Keith knows my besties in the UK and aussie but really, to think of it, both my White British boyfriends know about Carter..

thats a good start isnt it.


anyway, I remember talking to keith about Carter all the time and they always have conversation through me in a way, like Keith would go: hey are you talking to Carter? tell him i said hi. , and then once i passed the message then Carter would go: hey Keith.. lol.. , those kinda stuffs, like the conversation will be short and simple. lol

anyway, i dont really keep in touch much with the people in malaysia when i was in UK, due to... lots of factors, mostly are excuses but... haha.. oh well... nevermind, lets not go there.. but there were a few people that i do talk to, some bloggers, and also Carter. basically Carter knows all my bf-s too, weirdly enough and vice versa.

Well, couples do have problems, and whenever something happens I would find someone close to rant and talk to and Carter would be among those. lol. Carter kinda helped solved a few of my domestic household problems with Keith so, well its a good thing la, not to say he is like some counsellor or what la but like at least i get a third person's view on the matter, unbiased.... ..... to think of it, maybe he was! LOL hahahaha.. joking joking...

i still remember that when i decided to break up with keith and move out from his place, we talked a lot then, lol, to think of it we talked very regularly so i cant really say we talked a lot then cos we do talk alot all the time anyway.

but through it all i never felt anything from him at all..

he didnt give me the vibe that he wants me, he didnt give me the vibe that he likes me..

He was just there as a friend for me.

O M G, after Keith i met little Tommy! gosh... i kept talking about Tom to Carter.. like how cute Tom is, and how big Tom's dick was and ... gosh... it must have been really hurtful to hear that now that i realize.. hahahaha...

i mean what if the person you likes talks to you about some other guy, ewww, i will just either unfriend him, or just kill myself... lol hahahaha... awww... Carter o carter, i can only imagine the jealousy that ran through you all those times.. hahahahahaha..... LOLOL... poor baby carter..

i think it shouldve been tortorous for him cos i had so much sex after that and I kinda storied it to him most of the encounters ! shit!! lol hahahahahaha.....

aww... i feel bad now. but, well, whats done is done la, its just so funny to find out about this now!!! :)

its been a month now since we started this ship, guess we will be sailing this ship for much much longer :) so far we are still sailing in the sea of honey towards the moon, hope this sail never stops ! :)

Saturday, November 29, 2014

Conversation of facial hair, fatness and WiFi connection!

the same blogger friend was high on drugs last night and the following conversation was resulted..

oh, dont worry, he is not a drug addict, he has medical reasons and the side effect of his medication was the highness.. 

i dont maintain friendships with addicts, i dont despise them, i just dont mix with them :)


me: ei, i misai like this nice or not?

him: nope, you look tua la.. your face no "energy"..


no misai, cut your hair, then you will make the WiFi more kuat!

but but... my Carter say I look hot wor....

he suka then i cannot comment d ...


Uncle Tuls!

*send him my current face pic*

this one looks like pedophile...


doesnt suit you la, you wait till youre 30 then you keep those hair...


youre only 25..

hm.... you got a point hor..

children see you, will call you uncle, you will damn sad one, or those aunty aunty ask their children call you Uncle ..


you will curse them inside, and rolleyes and after they walk away you will sure say bitch! LOL

....hm.... see my face, you think i fat or not....

you ah.... you face didnt kembang wo... just below expand.... but still fine la...

although i got bf liao but i still need to maintain one.. so that my WiFi is strong!!

yes you should!! but ok la, you still got neck, not gabung yet.. if gabung then your connection is like the old telephone cable... have to dial one...

-.- but talking about old telephone i like leh, old telephone you have to press and then turn the dial, if you do that to my nipples will turn me on one!

what? turn? how to turn?

like twist the nenepok like that, and picit, and then gigit!

...so wrong! only boobs can twist!

i got boobs ma...

yorrrrr... omg,... not yet la..       boobs is like saggy...


cos men dont wear bra...

mine not saggy...

so you see those obese one, can flip boob.. piak piak 

lol big man boobs can touch, hug, hold, press, so turn on la...

ewwww... like sea cucumber k... and it will sweat!

wtf, what sweat?

sweating la.... fat people ma...

-.- i like big big guys ma... lucky Carter taller and bigger than me! :) i tell you hor, i had this fling hor, he super hot, 8 packs, toned and super kiet the body one, but once i hug i feel pain cos his body too keras d.. too hard liao


so the conclusion is, train so hot punye body but sometimes nice things are just needed to be left alone after viewing, no point having them cos it will hurt you in the end...

yalor... like that guy i was talking to on grindr *sends me pic*... 

wah... his body damn hot ...

yea lor.. i wanna train until like that... 

good good...

he cute la, but tengok cukup..


people like that jual mahal one...

LOL not everyone is like that one... *flips hair*

i want jual mahal liao also..

ok la, you try la, then you wont have any friends left jor..

LOL... nvm, i got you


ok i go sleep now, meds make me drowzy jor....

I'm Carter's visual WiFi...

so I was having a "normal" conversation with a fellow blogger...

ei, Carter is so big (he is taller than me) you can melt into his arms la..

yalor, somemore Carter "UP" very quick and easy too..

good la, sex make life happy...

yalor.. no need to touch, he see me also UP edi..

wah... like WiFi ah...

right?! i knowwwww!!!

Strong and fast, stable LOL


Line fast makes you happy!

er..... LOL hahahahahahahahahah

Upload Download also happy....


i got one ex, he is like bluetooth one, not stable, and connection not good, so always soft one, and when i horny but he cannot UP, so stress...

o m g.. i know how it feels...

but being a good bf i need to understand also la...

hahaha.. but WiFi not everytime also stable ma... not meh?

sometimes you need to switch the modem off, cos too hot it will make the line slow.....

O M G, REALLY ARR? I DIDNT KNOW LEH... my modem at home 24/7 365days a year on one...

that is why IT server room is air conditioned one...

OMG, ONZ, i will migrate to angmo country!

but seriously, Carter is the first guy who has such reaction towards me. I never had a guy who could get hard by just looking at me, well maybe they didnt let me know, but like, lol, seriously if we hug in public even just for a second you can see his bulge already. lol. Hug any longer than a few second will make him uncomfortable and blush.... hahahaha.. how cute!! and how turned on is that!!! like seriously i feel like im a stimulant... super hotz!! hahahahahahahah.....

Thursday, November 27, 2014

tUls, why you no draw anymore!?

so there is this odd blogger who said that he cracked at my drawings on my blog, well, used to..

and so that made me think...

why dont i draw anymore?

haha.. the answer is simple, i lost my mouse and ever since i change from desktop to laptop, i dont need a mouse anymore and i havent use a mouse since maybe for the past 3 years or so... so..... yea lor.

whoever wants me to draw in the future post please kindly present me a mouse, thanks.

if you wanna contact me, please email me la, email is on the right side. muahahahahahaha... *flip hair*

this post damn syok sendiri! :)

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

hottie search me up on grindr!!

i entered a train today and i was looking for a seat and there was a table seat, two on each side of the table facing each other and there was only one guy seating towards the direction of the travel. i walked over, smiled and ooooh, he was cute, i smiled and sat next to him cos it would be awkward to sit opposite him cos i will be in his face for the next half an hour or so.

anyway,... i sat down. i took out my book from my bag(for those who really know me, they will be shocked to know that i keep a book in my bag hahahahaha) and started reading.

*flips page*

*familiar sound beep*

*realized it was grindr*

seriously, the first beep kinda get to me, i was like thinking to myself where have i heard this sound before and after 1 second i realized it was grindr and O M G that cute guy sitting next to me was GRINDRI-NG!!!!


seriously, i was so amazed at myself for forgetting that noise cos i needed 1 second to register that sound. usually i dont even need grindr to know whether that person is gay or not. anyway, he exudes the straight vibe. lol... mentah mentah i only deleted the app few weeks ago. lol

anyway,... he keeps switching app, i kinda peep over after finishing each page, facebook chat la, whatsapp la, grindr la,...  and he keeps turning his head around.. i think he might be chatting with some other guy on the train or something.

so after flipping 10 pages i kinda took my phone out, i covered my phone with my book and pretended to play with my phone... lol.. i was trying to mess with that guy!!! hahahahah.... and in no time he checked his grindr after seeing my "suspicious" act lol


i think he suspects that I am one the instant he saw me cos of the tshirt im wearing, whats with Gays and hollister and AnF in Malaysia, seriously.. lol....

Monday, November 24, 2014

Season of Love....

was talking to an Oddball-blogger today....

him: you noticed something? suddenly all bloggers are like.... "Falling"

me: Falling what? in Love?

yalor, love is in the air...


i think you started it first.. haha...

who who who?

you dont know meh? you went around commenting... ....so far, you, peace..... erm....

jboy? wait.... peace? he and his bee are like dinasours ok -.-

plus i-zach.... musim kot.

now is autumn ok... musim everything dies...

musim hujan ok!

eh, actually quite flattering la if you say i started the musim for everyone... muahahahahahahahahaha....

but seriously, i should kutip komisen for each couple that get together selepas ni within 3 months.. lol... temenggung kononnye... lol

i miss my Carterbaby wor... 

now we are 400km apart, lol, but not for long! :)

Saturday, November 22, 2014

my first breakfast in bed by Carter!!

Guess what i woke up to today? TADA!!!

There are coffee and orange juice, clockwise from 6oclock Honey bacon ham, heart chicken nuggets, potatoes thingy, and more potatoes thing, steamed? carrots, mushrooms, baked beans, and scrambled eggs!!!

Feels like I'm the most happiest boyfriend on earth! :)

everytime i wanna thank him for it he marah me.. urgh... say no need to thank one -.- damn potong la he!!

they say the best way to a man's heart is through his stomach, i wanna tell Carter that, you dont need to go through my stomach anymore cos you are making me fatttt,  you can go through other "entrances" lol... but I still love you for this.

Thanks again :P you cant marah me online!! ngehehehehe...

Friday, November 14, 2014

Nippon surprise..

our Jboy-san recently came back from nipponland!

we met up for brunch today and look what he got me!!! lol

its for Carterless times.. 

i havent use one of these before so it would be interesting to see how it goes!! 

lol.. anyone have got any experience? care to share? lol.. 

Thursday, November 13, 2014

never smiled this big...

what a way to start the second quarter of my life. thats if i ever lived to 100 years old age. haha. thanks for all the wishes and prayers everybody.

the updates on honeymoon will need to wait cos it aint ended yet.

what name should i give my baby this time round. lets call him Carter.


i think i myself get all these alias mixed up at times. lol. too many to remember. Some of them present in my life for such short period of time that i dont even remember how do they look like already. lol.

anyway Carter and I have known each other since Valentines 2013. It such a coincidence now to think of it. We transitioned from just online buddies, to close friends, then to ex-friends, and now lovers.

We basically know each other inside out, no introduction was needed, i dont really need to hold back or give any first impression whatsoever. he knows me too well, and so do i him.

This is my first ever relationship that starts out as friends, the dating part was skipped and we just jumped straight into the relationship wagon.

i feel so comfortable around carter, i dont have to put up a front, my hand touching my tummy and he could tell whether im hungry or having a tummy ache! lol. ok maybe im not really using the right example but you know what i mean...

we always finish each others sentences and we always jinx each other. we've been best of friends for almost two years and i guess that made the whole relationship even more special.

we know each others deepest darkest secret even before we started this relationship and even with that we still could embrace each other to the fullest..

i told him its the right timing..

its really definitely the right timing..

and somehow me not getting a job in the UK for the time being makes everything possible. i was thinking if i was working right now i wouldnt even have chanced upon him.

i felt quite wasted that i didnt get to stay in the UK but im really glad that it happened that way cos if not, i wouldnt have been with Carter.

Carter and I will be meeting this weekend and we are gonna draft our future together! :)

I cant wait to see him once again.

Well its only been days but........Im going peanuts!!

I've never smiled this big when i realize how i felt for him last week, it was the biggest smile i had that i can think of cos even friends can see it through chats.. i just dont understand how.. lol.. i guess love has a funny way of expressing itself through words.. haha

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

5th relationship commenced!


im not collecting exp points just for the sake of levelling up myself..

im really really really happy this time!

will be off for our honeymoon tomorrow! buahahahahaha...

Sunday, November 2, 2014

searching for sex is harder than having sex..

searching for sex in Malaysia is more tiring than having sex.. by the time you found someone to have sex with youre already exhausted and say goodnight and goodbye..

malaysians have changed over the years..

gone are the days where you just say hello wanna meet up? then you really meet up and have fun.

now, you will need to show at least 3 face pics, then 3 body pics, then one dick pic and then a butt pic, if not clear then have to resend, then some want butthole pic, then some want a few dick pics -.-


its so funny.

the tuls me will just need one dick pic, so easy kan? no fuss.. lol.. 

anyway, i realize one thing about malaysians, a lot of them are very clingy, and they cant really separate sex and feelings. In my opinion that is really a good thing, but not for those who wants just a quickie.

you dont really see these kinda situation much in the UK. the whites are very straightforward, sex means sex, no feelings attached whatsoever. its not like it doesnt exist, its just less, much lesser. 

i remember back in the days where i usually hunt for straight guys in dating websites who just wanna fuck guys. those are just pure pleasure for me. no fuss, no strings, and most straight guys are hot! they just fuck and go. nice if you want a quick release. lol.

how "straight" are these guys, i dont know la, but as long as it does the job, why not!?

tuls just deleted all his sex apps already O.O

o M G!!!! why? hehehehe.... maybe he feels like he found the ONE d? lol

anyway, those of you who are still playing around in the scene, just be more careful la k, i was doing my free full blood check up in GH the other day and was chatting to this hot sexy doctor and he said that there are A LOT OF UNDIAGNOSED HIV CASES out there.

just imagine those irresponsible people not taking care of themselves properly and not take the right precautions while having sex makes me so furious and scared at the same time.

hm... anyway.. play safe la.. xoxo

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

What happens when your ex dates your friend...

hey... how are you lately? 

im pretty ok... im heading out in a bit, can't talk now..

oh alright.. ...... a date?

yea, with my harem of asian boys..


would be interesting no?

right.... so, is it a date?

in a way just hanging out, its not like a date or anything..

so is he asian too?

yea, asians are more interesting than caucasians!!


what? even if you disagree, its true!!

-.- ..... so what country of origin?

what the fuck, are you shining a bright lamp on my face!?!!

more like the sun!!

i'll die!!

is he malaysian?

i'll let you know more when things are actually going well this time, i don't want to get prematurely hyped up this time, last time got me too much in a slump and it affected me WAY more then it should have

is it Jeremy? (Jeremy is a close friend of mine from home who is studying where i worked in the UK)

no response for some time...

you went out already?

i met Jeremy on Jack'd, we started talking and we've gone out before. As said, i don't know if anything bigger will grow from it, i'm being cautious after last time and i don't want to go through that stuff again.


im waiting for him to tell me when he is ready... so im still here...

you must be joking, Jeremy is like a brother to me.....

no not really. yeah, i heard you guys know eachother :p i guess i'm giving you both quite the surprise huh

this is weird, anyway you should go..

hehe i guess it is yeah. sorry if it makes stuff awkward

i dont know what to say...

is it a bad thing to you?

i dont really know how to react to that...

i think i should go before i say something that i would regret.. catch you later.. :) have fun...

are you angry at me? or at him?

why should i be angry? but seriously of all the asians there, Jeremy, seriously? 

yeah, i don't know how that happened. it's a bit weird to me as well but I can imagine how weird it must be for you two

have you had sex yet?

wtf, besides, even if i had would you really even want to know. it's 3am, go to bed *hugs* and just so you know, even if things end up more serious between Jeremy and me, you'll still be a friend of mine..

lets not go there.. night.

i feel disgusted, i seriously didnt know how to react or what to do.. it was 3am in the morning and i kinda ranted and sent offline messages to Niey and went to bed.. the next morning Niey replied with the following...

Well.. I know things cud be weird at first. But in the end, He is someone that you know you won't have a future with. And u have moved on too.. So.. Good or bad, it is his own choice. I think in the end, you just have to let him go on with his life even he may be dating ur friend. It doesn't really matter if he date ur friend or ur ex or anyone. Somehow, u just gotta learn to be happy for him.
For now sure it's gonna be weird.. But in the end, your priorities in life will be more important than who are the people ur ex date one. Let it sink in, n u will just feel a lot better sooner. Both are your friends no? So put it in thus way lo.. As long as they are happy.. U just gotta be supportive. That's all. :)

What Niey said was true la.. and i really thanked him for that ..

hey, im sorry for reacting that way yesterday, clearly i wasnt thinking straight. ultimately i just wanted you to be happy..

i know , and i dont blame you. its a weird coincidence, its kinda why i didnt wanna tell you yet until it actually became more serious. its kinda weird i met him of all people. so yea, i dont blame you. i just dowana make things awkward.

haha,... it wont be la, i'm past that already..

thanks for being understanding..

Saturday, October 25, 2014


a conversation on jackd goes like this...

hey, mind to be friends?

sure no prob!!


are you attached?

...well, what if i say yes? hehe....

then i will say bye bye :)


does he know that youre here?



he does...

but by then ive already stopped talking to him and ignored him altogether

so many signals pointing to the fact that his intention is questionable.. whether he is here genuinely to find friends, we dont know..

its just weird la saying that you need to expand your friend circle by joining these gay apps when you already have a partner..

you can always explore the scene with your partner..

you can always make new friends with your partner..

i dont believe in self venturing and find friends through all these apps knowing that most of them are on there to just search for a shag..

i dont really understand how could someone that is attached still on these sex apps.. i dont really get the big picture behind it..

you are putting yourself at risk of cheating, no matter how strong your willpower to overcome temptation etc..

its just weird to me.. 

i wouldnt wanna have anything to do with an attached person even if he just wanna be friends... that only applies through apps kinda thing... 

Sunday, October 19, 2014

Past relationships... First boyfriend : BabyZ (The End)

There isnt a time where i feel like i could have done better if i were able to turn back time. It was a good experience and relationship for me. They say you can never forget your first or the first cut is the deepest, i dont think it really feels that way to me. It would have hurt like crazy but maybe cos our love or at least my love towards him kinda die over time, it did not really hit me that hard.

I was the one who asked for the break and according to him he teared for a few days. Well we kinda still talk after that and thats how i know. I think we totally stop talking a month after that. Im not sure the reason why but i dont think i need a reason for that anyway. He is the only ex that i did not keep in contact with up till now. Its been 7 years and hopefully it stays that way. I wouldnt want anymore drama in my life haha.

honestly he did try to contact me through fb but i ignored it. that was a few years back and i think i did the right thing.

if there is one thing i wanna say to him if i met him is to thank him for the valuable experience. i have the imaginary meet in my mind. we kinda bumped into each other in the mall and have fake exchanges of hello and how are you and all those shit while holding my bf beside me so close, maybe a small peck or what not. lol. such a show off. typical show off stunt to display that im so much better off without him LOL... i feel so bitchy thinking of it. lol

since babyZ i kinda came up with a list of criterias that i would wanna see in a potential bf candidate!  i did post it before HERE and HERE but i will put it up once again! :)

well there you go, an inspired list after breaking up with my first love! the list kinda change as we go along!!

babyZ is shorter than me by a head, it wasnt a problem at first but it kinda did as things got worse between us. feels like im going out with my little brother or like im babysitting lol. i dont mind having shorter friends but boyfriend criteria must be tall la! lol...

babyZ is younger so that explain the next criteria.

the 5 big X are my principle in life.

the rest are quite self explanatory :)

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Past relationships... First Boyfriend : BabyZ (Part 4)

we had a share of public sex all over town, not caught of course. The experiences were heart-pounding both physically and mentally. sex is fun if both parties are honest and true to each other. you can feel the sincerity when you make love. You will know if its a revenge sex or breakup sex. The emotions, the thrust, the feelings they are all different.

Things started to fall apart shortly after 2 years in the relationship.

He started making new friends. I mean friends come and go for all of us and it should be deeply encouraged anyway. Peer influences on the other hand, should be cautioned at all times. I see babyZ started to go to temple more and more often with his new found friends. They were obviously very religious in a way. Thats fine. I even stop eating beef the whole time i was with him anyway. Sacrifices are needed in a relationship, it happens. I mean i respect his culture. He doesnt mind me eating it but i kinda chose to anyway.

What irks me the most is after two years into the relationship he kinda ask me to be a buddhist. If you love me, then be a buddhist, we can pray together, we can go to temple together, I will introduce you to my new friends. Those were the exact words he said. Hm.... Well that was quite annoying. I mean I do go to the temple with him like every special occasion if he wants to. I believe in God but I dont really believe in religion, knowing that and yet he still wants me to join is just.... how should i put it, inconsiderate? I mean come on, we have been together for 2 years, there wasn't a problem in terms of our faith 2 years back anyway. Why now?

Obviously I hold on to my grounds and principle and said no. That kinda build some tension between us.

Then comes my birthday. Obviously he got me a present. I know in the western part of the world you would open the present there and then but I was being Asian and kept the present and opened it at home after our "celebration". Well it was just a dinner as he has some "stuffs" to do after that. Seems like I wasnt the most important thing in his life anymore then. ha. whatever.

Anyway I opened the present and guess what! :) It was an FCUK shirt. First glance was like, oK. Good la. I dont have one anyway, I mean all my life Ive been working since 16 and I wont even get me anything more expensive than a TOPMAN whatever anyway so that was like kinda a great deal in a way then. Then as i look at it again, that shirt was kinda off in a sense. I looked again and found that the FCUK stitching was really sucky and that some of the thread were out. I was like hey, this is not right. haha. my heart was kinda itchy already.  Then as i checked again, i found a hole at one of the underarms. I was pissed. Being me, I just smiled it away. I called my bestie and told him about it la. Well, bitchy ma. So he said that I should talk to babyZ about it and maybe ask him to get it changed la. Fine. I called.

Hey baby, I got something to tell you..

yea what?

Well, the shirt you gave me...Yea? some of the thread is out...oh....and there is a hole near the pits there...



ok my heart is itchy already... i had to ask...

where did you buy it from?

i got it when i went to the trip in Jakarta with my family...

oh... ok...

well in my mind, the refund or exchange is out of the question already.. but i still dont really feel comfortable...

erm... but like where did you get it from?what? like is it original?

i had to ask.

why are you asking me this? why are you questioning my sincerity?

omgosh.. i think i hang up one or two lines after that. i dont remember what i said after that line. I was so so so angry.

first of all, its a birthday present.

second of all, im not questioning his sincerity because if he was sincere he would have checked the product before buying. clearly he didnt. and to be honest it feels like a fake, i mean, hey, im not judging, i wore pasar malam clothes before, really whatever, but like seriously that line pissed me off..

the tension grew even bigger after that... i think i disregard the shirt and kinda forget about it and assume that it didnt happen..

following that, we went out one weekend to 1U, the tension is clearly still there. At times there were total silence and it was quite awkward and weird in a way. it was about 5-6 years ago and i dont think i can remember what or how did the conversation started but until the day i die i will always remember what he said that day: if you dont want to date me, there is a whole line of guys waiting to do so..

i dont really see the point of doing that. trying to flaunt his popularity? hm.... humans changes over time.

a few days later after that i dont think i can take anymore of the nonsense anymore. There were so many so many minor details in the past that wasnt an issue but because of all the collective recent happenings, it kinda contributed a little to the decision of breaking up with babyZ.

This relationship ended after 2 and a half years.

Saturday, October 11, 2014

Past relationships... First boyfriend : Baby Z (Part 3)

I work on weekends when I was in sixth form while dating babyZ then. Sometimes it would be difficult to meet him so weekdays are our usual hangout period. When there is a school holiday i would kinda work 2 jobs, one weekday and one weekend just to make full use of my time. I think then he would have felt neglected and I too feel that I wasnt the best boyfriend. Maybe I didnt really put him as my priority. Maybe i couldnt.

When SPM comes he kinda took some time off to study and then of course i had my exams as well so it was quite understandable that we didnt really meet as much as we used to. Yes we still have our "after tuition moments" but that was it, some nights we would have supper and then it ends with me sending him back.

Talking about getting caught from the previous post, our luck was just about to get even better. There was this one night, as usual, I missed him so much i drove over his place and picked him up. Sex pheromones filled the air in the car and we just couldnt resist it anymore and so i drove us to a quiet industrial area and we kinda started to make out. As things were starting to get steamy we saw a single weak flash from afar. The light was getting brighter over time and then we heard ramming of engines of motorcycles. My heart stopped. I thought we were gonna get robbed.

If I am not mistaken there were 4 motorbikes around and they kept knocking on our window and kinda circulating our car in their bikes, trying to scare us or what not. We just kept calm and not do anything. At one point I thought one of the windows is gonna break. One of the bike just stop on a side while shinning its light into the car. We were just totally in shock and in fear. We cant do anything and it was in the middle of nowhere. No one will come to our rescue lol. I totally forgotten that the car has a horn. My car was afraid too i guess *rolleyes*

When we thought we were about to die, the gang left. Gosh. WTF man. They say once bitten, twice shy, three times a fool or something. Our luck just got better. There was this other night where we met up and drove all the way to another industrial area, a newer, better, well lit area thinking it would be not so dangerous. WE WERE WRONG. A police patrol car just turned the corner and they have their spotlight switched on and shine through into our car. FUCK! Our pants were still down and we didnt really have time to react. We were totally stunned and all i can think of then is NOT AGAIN!!!

We were asked to step out from the car..

Can I have your ID and license please...

*handed over......*

what are you two doing? tell me...



we were just talking...

why are your pants down?

i was just fetching my friend from tuition and we were heading home...

home? this doesnt look like home to me...

.........*silenced, we were just looking on the ground the whole time*.....

how old are you?

17.... 16...

16? you know you are underage right.....

do you know what you are doing ?of course we know what we are doing stupid!!


please just let us go, we wont do this again...

ok at one point i was thinking of bribing but i was out of money... and i dont really know how much does babyZ have got on him..

you wanna spend the night in the lock up?

.....no .... we were not doing anythiDONT tell me you were not doing anything, your pants were down...

i think by then babyZ has started to tear...

.....so, what should i do about it?

i know that is the sign that i should bribe him...

*i opened my wallet* erm... i dont have any money on me now...

so...? what about your friend?

you know what, i can drive you to the bank and get some money if you want...

i think im either blonde, or desperate or just plain stupid.. lol hahahahahaha.... i know there is a bank just next to the police station...

no no no... we are not going to the bank...

its ok then, just take us in(to the lock up), i will just phone my parents...

i dont know was that act of bravery or what. to be honest my memory fails me after that, im not sure what happen. I think either they let us go after awhile or babyZ took some money out and combined it with what ive got and they just left with that. haha. seriously we were just really lucky.

xx to be continued xx

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Past relationships... First boyfriend : Baby Z (Part 2)

Baby Z and I kinda grabbed every opportunity we have to be together and of course intimately too. So whenever his house is "free" even if its just for awhile I will try to go over to his to savour the moment. We could do it at mine but it would be a hassle to go pick him up to mine and then back to his after. I dont really have air conditioning at mine as well and I do really sweat a lot and therefore his place would be a better option. Im not really joking about my sweating abilities, anyone who knows me personally would know. haha. I sweat by looking at the sun, im the literate definition of hot! lol. Think twice before you wanna hug me to sleep, dont think its doable if youre another fiery person or if the airconditioning is not set full blast with the lowest possible temperature. haha.

I remember clearly one afternoon when i was at his place. We were going to use his parent's bath tub and kinda have a soak, together. It was really romantic. There were candles all over, the tub was filled when i reached and there were a few rose petals to soften and ease the mood. To be honest it was quite weird cos its a one person tub, haha. We kinda adjusted a few times before getting the right position to have both of us comfortably fitted in the tub without the water overflowing lol.

We were just chatting away and having sips of soda every once awhile. There were lots of body contact obviously and also lots of kissing. At one point he just stood up and say: "wait for me, i will be back". I'm not sure what he was up to and I just assume he went out to get lube and i was pretty excited already. I just relaxed myself in the tub and kinda clean up while i have a short time alone. Well guess what. Its not short. I waited and waited and waited. My curiosity kinda took myself up from the tub and go check whats happening. When i open the door i saw a handbag on the bed. FUCK ME i thought to myself. The mum is home! GREAT. BabyZ was no where to be seen and so i softly closed the door. I was trying to put some clothes on when i realize that all our clothes was outside the bathroom. -.-

My heart was pounding so quickly and i have really no idea what to do. I just kept quiet hoping that he would come for me. He didnt. I waited and waited and was thinking WHERE THE FUCK IS HE. haha. Seriously you have no idea how crazily scared i was then. I have no clue how long have i waited so i tried to open the door a little and guess what, the handbag was still there. fuck. So many things were going through my mind. What would happen if the mum found out? Wait, if the mum heard our conversation or heard someone was talking in the bathroom, shouldnt she have knocked and asked or something? Does that mean she doesnt know? I daringly stuck my head out from the bathroom door. I looked left and right and there was no one there. The next thing i realize is my clothes were gone too. Great.

I took a deep breath, i clad a towel around my lower half of the body and weirdly tipped toed out the bathroom. That was the first thing I did was to lock the room door. The next thing i did was to figure out what to do, i explored the room a little and found a door that led to an "office" and there he was. BabyZ, sitting in front of a computer. I was like what the hell are you doing?

i had to switch on the computer to use as cover just in case.

right, but you could have informed me.

i can't, i was talking to mum just now.

ok, ok. so what now.

wear these first. 

After im dressed, we moved to the main bedroom door. Once we checked that the coast is clear we moved on and up to his room. Thank goodness it was the most relieved moment in my life. lol. Later i found out from babyZ that his mum was in the room next to the masterbed room folding clothes or something. I think i left shortly after when the mum is occupied doing something else. I can't imagine what would happen if we were caught. Seriously his family is like one of the least tolerable type against us gays. That heartpounding moment would be one of the many ones that would be remembered forever. lol.

xx to be continued xx

Sunday, October 5, 2014

Past relationships... My First Boyfriend : Baby Z

so tuls, how many boyfriends do you have before this?

erm..... you change boyfriend like changing clothes right?


superficially how i wish i had so many boyfriends but nah... ive got let me count... 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8, lol.. just 4 la..

so this post is gonna be on my first ever boyfriend, babyZ

once upon a time in middle school, lol, i was an active society person, i know im not really an active person physically and therefore i think i kinda compensate it with joining lots of non-sporty societies. I used to be so good in paperwork that i ended up becoming the secretary for 5 different societies/clubs. My hands were full, i dont think i really enjoy the work but i did quite well as a secretary with the first club i joined and then subsequently i kinda contested for the secretary position for every other societies i joined. bear in mind the secretary carries the same points as the president of the club, stupid point system, i was kinda trying very hard to be an all rounder. haha..

anyway i was going through the membership forms of one particular club and there's this one guy's picture kinda stole my attention. naturally i kinda was on the look out for him at each member's meeting and there he will be, sitting with his small bunch of friends.. i would just look at him from the front, stealing glances without being too obvious about it.. haha.. its not easy cos every silly thing you do that is out of the ordinary would be the talk of the class or club for x amount of time, you know how school kids are like... so....

the time for the annual installation of the club arrived and we needed to prepare the venue and members were asked to help and only since then i started to approach the mysterious Zboy..

i was young back then and i think i was quite shy and he was shy too for some reason but as the secretary, i know everyone and so it was only natural to greet my members and ask about stuffs and so i did...

we exchanged a few lines and it felt good.. i was so happy inside because we talked.. haha.. bear in mind i still dont really know whether he is gay or not.. but at the end of that particular day i can still remember looking at him as he walks away from the hall when i was closing up, surprisingly he turned back and look at me with a smile, our eyes locked, and that instant i know that he is GAYYYYYYY!!

lol.. my gaydar was rusty then but that look kinda fixed my antenna..

i remember passing my number to him and we texted everyday since. I can roughly remember changing phone service provider to be the same as his and added him into the "family" list to have better rates in calling and texting him despite parents are all using the previous service provider lol.

soon after we met, i kinda left high school and did sixth form in a school nearby while he still continued with high school as he was younger. our life kinda revolved around me going to his place when his family is out and fuck the cum out of each other, mostly me la. lol. I can remember we were kinda each other's first boyfriends and so we just went all out. I never remember wasting one drop of his cum after each session. His cum was always salty i have no idea why. And he on the other hand kept begging for mine too. The sex was just too much too crazy. Dont think we ever did it with condoms too.

Our first sex was surprisingly amazing. Reason for doubting it is cos first times are USUALLY awkward or somewhat needs adjustments. lol. speaking through experience lol. It was at his place one night. I remember driving over to his around midnight to wait for everyone to sleep. His room was all the way up at the attic, the 3rd floor. As i enter the room, it was pitch black and only lit by stars and moon that glowed in the dark. It smelled like armani code, and till now i still love the smell. He then lit 2 candles by a corner and woah, his room is literally like how a teenage angmo's  kinda room with boybands posters, a guitar, a blackboard with things to do on it, arts and crafts all over. So boyish kinda feel. lol. I remember Peter Pan's song was playing softly in the background.

We were both quite shy and stupid I guess. I remember lying on his bed as he slowly came next to me, the next thing i know, our eyes were of same level both lying on the bed. I held his hand as I adjust my head rubbing deeper into the pillow as I move closer to him. One kiss. And another, and another. I think we kissed for about an hour. It was my first time kissing too and it was with someone I love and it was just so calming, so sexy, so hot, so passionate.

I remember stopping after that, I went out the room and burp! lol. There was so much tongue going on I think the air kinda went in as well? lol After going back in, his was under his blanket and when i join him only to realize he has nothing left on except his undies. I follow suit and i took my clothes off and we braced each other and continued kissing. This time our hands were more adventurous and we started feeling each other's treasure down there. I was shocked when i felt his tool. I literally stopped and took the blanket off. With the candlelight flickering shining on his tool, it aroused me even more, my jaw dropped with amazement and he just shut it up with kisses. At that point i was super super aroused with that thick 8 of his. I was like no way a 16 year old with the right mind would have an 8. I just tucked it between my thighs and under my balls and there were so much frottage going on my precum oozes out, and so did his. It was clear that we were so sexually attracted to each other we were dripping so much.

This meet up was random and i wasnt prepared for anal at all. I was so aroused cos it is my first tool encounter that is so huge at the tender age of 17. I remember asking him whether he wants to try it or not, I told him Im not sure about doing it but we can always try. With no lube around, he spat on his hands and coated his dick head and i did it as well trying to contribute to make it wetter. His dick was thick and long from head to base, just the touch of his crown on my hole kinda heighten all my senses and that is when i found my g spot. Its just at the tip of the opening. As he push half of the dickhead in, i let out a moan and it was the best feeling ever, haha, after moaning i just look at him and he knew that instant i was so comfortably pleasured. I hold his neck firmly maintaining eye contact while raising my ass engulfing his dick deeper into me. I can see his eye widen and it was so good we kissed while he was in me i just didnt wanna go anywhere, i didnt wanna move i just wanna lay and die there! Slowly he pulls out only to make me move even closer to make sure his dick never leaves my hole. lol. We didnt really do it for long as I was so near to cum. As he took his dick out, once the thick dick head kinda expanded my anal entrance upon exiting, it hit my Gspot and i just cum all over. Guess what, he didnt waste one drop of my cum. It shocked me and it just literally blew my mind away that night.

We clean up and went back to the room and just talk. There were more kisses and the night was just perfectly sweet.

We were so horny and in love at such a young age. I remember him going to the tuition centre which was a 2 minute walk from where i live and i would always go meet him after his class ends and we would go to the top floor of the apartment next to the tuition centre and we would just make out there while looking out at the whole of PJ. Some days we would jerk each other off and drink each other's cum. Some days we fucked by the emergency stairways. Some days we just met and kissed behind the tuition centre door if his parents arrived early to pick him up. We were really in love being each other's first.

xx to be continued xx

Thursday, October 2, 2014

20 gaylasexshipz facts about TULS

1. Bottom

2. I only fuck 5 person before.

3. Ive got 4 gay ex-es

4. I lost my gayginity at 16.

5. I joined the gym for a year when i was 18 just to have steamy hot sex in the shower, sauna and steamroom.

6. Uncut

7. I like thick mushroom dick heads a lot

8. I'm a spreader not a sitter.

9. Turn ons: pits, thick dicks, tall guys, big dark nipples,

10. I've got a fetish of cumming on people's face.

11. I only swallowed 2 person's cum so far.

12. Usually only watches interracial porn.

13. Best sex was with a black german guy in the UK.

14. Had a backache and sprained my neck once during one of the long haul sex all night thingy and went to work the next day with a slightly crooked neck with limited movement. lol

15. Fisted one person in my life. It was fun!

16. Bareback for the entire year when i was 18, the year that I had sex the most in my entire life. naughty naughty

17. Never blow a person that I meet for the first time.

18. Realized what a wank was at the age of 12 but only to pee instead then. lol

19. A condom filled with cum was stucked in my rectum once. Took me 10 mins to remove it. lol

20. Slept while a dick was in me once.

i tag any gay blogger who reads this to *blog about their gaylasexshipz(gay/sex/relationship related) facts!!

*do it if youre sporting bitcheS!!


Sunday, September 28, 2014

where is bubu..?

it is a question i can never run away from, and so i embrace it with a smile each time..

everytime i meet someone who knew that i was with bubu before this, standard question would be where is he? are you guys still together? are you guys getting back together?

well, let me tell you folks, he is doing well, now doing his post grad studies, not in the country at the moment, single and unavailable :)

are we getting back together? haha... lets keep that a secret la..

whenever the bubu topic arises, i will usually get nervous and all but this time round, its not there anymore.

not sure why.

maybe ive accepted the fact, the truth and come to realize that we are just friends now.

i remember taking a picture of our chocolate, our first chocolate that he got for me, got for us and it will always be our chocolate, and send a pic of the chocolate to him 3 years after we separated..

whats that?

dont you remember?

remember what?

haha.. that instance i know deeply, he had moved on, why cant I? and with that, I think it somehow help me move on..

maybe bubu did it on purpose, maybe not, but whatever it is, it helped..

after 3 years, i feel like im finally free, its not easy, not easy to admit or to think that i finally let go someone that i used to love so much...

or have I?


Tuesday, September 23, 2014

officially 25


im 25.

i still cant believe that im 25.

i feel like i havent achieved anything in life.

im usually quite optimistic but being unemployed has its perks.

ive got friends who own properties and assets at 25.

some are millionaires.

well of course there are those who are struggling and some that are not even there at all but...

I dont know why, but suddenly being 25 hit me just across the face.

I feel useless all of a sudden. and OLD!, did i mention OLD? urgh.. it felt like i was just 18 yesterday and having all the sex in the world with random strangers.


ok maybe i'm being a little dramatic.

what do i want in life?

what do i wanna achieve that made me feel like i havent accomplish anything?

i really dont know.

ive been back for a month now. having the time of my life not doing anything, just burning my pocket and filling the tummy with good food.

i wanna go back to the UK but I dont know, it doesnt feel like UK likes me as much as I like it..

my wake and sleeping patterns are all over the place, im writing this at 5am! can you imagine? lol

everyone thinks Yea, Tuls will be fine...

yea, Tuls is a smart kid, he knows what to do..

Tuls has been to the UK, he must be really rich now!

me this me that...

everyone just assume I'm all that just because I'm always happy, bubbly, optimistic, tall, dark, handsome.. i think im gifted.. not everyone can put on that front everyday of their life..

well at least i know im gifted in that way........ thats so cool right? right?....................... yea............

i think im just having one of those down days.. lol...

i'll be fine in no time! :) haha...

but i guess sometimes its good to spill and write things down...

few days ago i even asked Keith the marry me! lol like jokingly.... and he was like: now youre telling me that.


i knew he was considering it if i hadnt break up with him....

but o well, life is exciting this way isnt it, unpredictable and full of shit..

Keith is currently dating his ex bf now...so yea, hope he finds his happiness "again" ... but i know the sex i gave him was the best.. *flip hair* and Keith confirmed it so Mr Ex-Bf can just suck on that and Keith can only imagine what he will be missing out... haha.... MARRRRRY ME KEITH!!!

thats the desperate TULS trying to get out from Malaysia the easy way out.. lol..

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

relationships are learning foundations of life..

i know some people can't be alone for too long, they keep searching until they settle down with someone..

at desperate times they do settle down with the next best option, with the next person who shows interest, but they may or may not turn out to be the person whom you are looking for..

i know some people live by the single rule, afraid of commitment and being too attached to something or someone.. it could be either because they experienced the pain of losing someone so badly or its just their own principle in life..

but love, sometimes it comes to you without you searching for it..

guess what, im in a relationship now!!

omgosh really!?!? congrats...

yea!! :) haahhahaha...

im so jealous!!

sometimes people use relationship to make themselves feel better or special..

well it does that to certain people..


being in a relationship sometimes gives us an excuse to turn down other requests...

hey, you wanna go out later?

nah, im meeting my boyfriend later..

nah, im going out for a movie with my partner..

im going on a holiday, wont be back till xxx....

but if we are in a relationship for the wrong reason, it wont last...

friends that you ditched because you wanna spend time with your bf would think twice before meeting you up again after your break up thinking that you only come to them when you have an issue..

recently ive come to realize that what the old idiom saying "Life is a learning process" is really true and it applies to relationships as well..

i believe that each relationship teaches us something..

sometimes we dont get what we want from a relationship..

you desire happiness and love, it gives you loneliness and hell..

you yearn for cuddles and hugs, it gives you pain and aches..

you want stability and comfort, it ruins your social life and your empties your pockets..

sometimes it stings, sometimes it hurts...

whatever it is, you will need to try to see the good side of things! :)

there is a solution for every problem encountered along the way..
some people embrace it and tackle it head on... well good for you..
some people is afraid of the outcome and just shy away hoping that problems will go away on its own..

whatever you do, there is always a choice...

there is no such thing as a right or wrong choice, the only difference would be the pro-s and con-s of each decision you make..

whatever you decide, never regret it, if you think its not appropriate, you can always choose to act again..

different people may reach differently to what you do and to what they think is correct..

it takes two to tango, as long as youve done your best in trying to fix the problem, you shouldnt be sad if the ending doesnt go well, take it as a lesson and imply and improve on your next relationship...

we see couples that are together for 10 years, 12 years, some 20 years and so on, what do you think makes them be together for so long?

a few years down in a relationship, your life would start to become a routine, it will be boring and dull if we just let it go on like that..

maturity and understanding of two people will have a deeper role in sustaining a relationship..

people change as time goes by, even while you are in a relationship, you will need to adapt to life and live around it if you are living together, some changes are mild and develop over the years, some are instant crushes that requires more understanding and trust for both to fully comprehend the situation..

everyone has their own limits of accepting changes in life, some drastic ones that are too much too handle would sometimes end a relationship there and then... I've experienced first hand when one of my previous boyfriends turned religious overnight :)

sometimes we wonder why something like that would happen to someone..

sometimes we wonder why did he chose to break up with us..

does he not love me anymore?

am i not good enough for him...

every negative thought you can think of would surround you like a dark aura.. depression and fear isnt far behind..

if we could only understand the situation from a different angle, it wouldnt be that bad after all..

think it on a positive side, maybe the other person is in the way obstructing you advancing to the next level in your life..

maybe he realize youre more like a friend in bed than someone he would wanna be with for the rest of his life? if thats the case, youre so lucky to have get out from that relationship because you are wasting your time and his time. most of the time people arent that lucky to find out cos humans tend to be selfish.. and by the time you find out it will already be too late..

there are so many reasons one can come up with.. but the real question you should ask yourself..

are you happy being with him? yes.

good, thats it..

if there is a but behind the yes, then you might wanna think again the real reason you are together..

someone use "not enough time" as an excuse just to no breakup with someone..

yes you are quite comfortable with Mr X because you are very busy with your working life, you have no social life because you work 10am-10pm and on occasional saturdays, he on the other hand has his hands full with his job as well so you are both kinda like "ok" with the routine and just get on with life as it is cos you have no time to search for other people..bla bla bla...

fine by me.. fine by him..

fine. as long as youre happy.

dont commit to a relationship because you feel nice being with him for the first few times meeting with him..

try to get to know him, not to say that every hot, nice and single guy is a serial killer or what but.. haha.. you'll never know.. im just kidding! lol..

but you might never know that he might still be full of nerves the first few times you guys met but he is actually a pretty decent and cool guy after overcoming it? haha... dont judge the book by its cover! but yes sometimes we choose by looking at the cover! oh well... we are human after all....

to end on a messy note, if you were in a relationship no matter how long or short it is, whether its a five day thing, a summer fling, or a few years kinda commitment, you are collecting experience points like how pokemon collects EXP from battling other pokemons and in this case your partner would be the other pokemon.

if they are rare types or powerful types, you will gain more exp when you defeat them, if they are only common ones, then you will still collect exp point no matter what but just lesser.. anyhow, with all the exp points in life, you will level up each time and be a better person with much more understanding in life and how you view life, your life and life around you! if only you would let yourself see it..

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Grindr and related app slangs jargons and conversational cliches in Malaysia..

Hey pic

As per profile


Hey, you ok? ( i was being british )

Huh ok? ( sometimes not ok = crazy, so my question would be a little bizarre in the malaysian crowd lol)

oh, i mean how are you doing? (oops)


heya, you look cute, any other face pic?




heya, you look cute, any other face pic?






err.... what?

no pic no chat

oh... me or you?


but you dont have one either?









conversation died


what are you looking for here?

as per profile


oh, chats and friends...


no TB

Top or bottom

oh, Bottom

want fun?

as per profile




er... used to...

come its fun...

err... but its in the middle of the night? its closed no?


the gym is open now?

only after that i realize CF is not celebrity fitness -.-



yea sure... do you accom?


accom? do you accomodate?

what? your place free?

err... i was just asking you that.. no mine is not...

apparently accom is a UK thing? lol


u chi?

err.. yes..



u r t?

upper respiratory tract? infection ? what?

u r top?

oh, no bottom..


whr u?


oh btw im am stay sunway..

r u top or btm

bot you?

oh im straight act, im money boy



hi want fun now?


your ass pic?

your dick pic?

conversation died


Saturday, September 6, 2014

that blowjob was dirty...

i was wearing a white trunk underwear one day and i notice a little yellowy stain at the bottom of it and naturally i thought that it was sweat plus shit or something la cos before that i had a dump and so i just ignored it..

the next morning the whole underwear stinks and i was like wtf! the yellowy stain was all over my underwear and the first thing that came to mind was FUCK, NOT AGAIN!

so this time i was symptomatic. it happened 2 to 3 days after that blowjob i posted before this. 

i remembered the first time that happened was almost 2 years ago where i was asymptomatic and only found out when Keith shows symptoms, same ones i experienced. 

if its bacterial infection, if its symptomatic, there will usually be discharge and usually stinks.. pain while urinating is also common.. well these are the only two that i experienced.. if you wanna know more about the signs and symptoms of common sexually transmitted disease
=> http://www.patient.co.uk/health/sexually-transmitted-infections-leaflet

anyway, to summarize, you might wanna get checked if you have the one or more of the following:
  • pain while urinating (new episodes)
  • discharge (yellow or white) usually smelly, do not get confused with pre cum or ejaculating while youre asleep
  • persistent itch even after showering and cleaning
  • new abnormal looking bumps or blister 

you are lucky if you have symptoms cos at least you know, and you wont keep spreading it to people without knowing.

50% of the infections do not show any symptoms and that is why it is so dangerous. you may carry it for months and no know you have it if you are asymptomatic.

anyway.. the first thing that came to mind was to get treatment, i didnt have a car then and it was raining cats and dogs.. and so i called my bestie and say: SOS bitch, come now! im leaking yellow and its nasty!

and it no time he was in front of my house and off we went to the pharmacy

you arrr.... such a slut!


yala! sex sumore la!!

what the fuck! hahahaha.. it was only one blowjob! how the fuck should i know la!! that dirty fucker!

-.- go get azithromycin 1.5g now!

yes yes...

so we went to all the pharmacies nearby and only found it at the fourth pharmacy we stopped by.. it was RM20 for 6 tablets of 250mg of azithromycin... the branded one was RM50 for 6 tablets, pharmacies will usually try to sell it to noobies before selling the cheap one and the first 3 pharmacies did stock the brand but I'm not paying extra 30rm for the same thing lol.

so with a bottle of water, it all went down my tummy...

an hour later, fuck! i was having cramps, tummy ache! hahahaha... common side effects with such high dose cos usually 1g is sufficient to kill it but i was being cautious and took 1.5g.. my besties and I are both in the medical field so we just followed our instincts to do what we did...

the pain left after a couple of hours...

discharge was still going on till the next morning... i threw away 3 underwears that was stained with discharge. not even bothering to wash it! lol hahahahahaha....

but yea, i will need to go get tested soon... my last one was in May but this needs to be done just to make sure nothing remains...

if only i was in the UK then this would be free...

the discharge and pain stopped the next morning.. and now i feel fit as a fiddle...

anyway, people, the moral of the story is, you can get infected even if its just light fun... 

imagining yourself kissing a guy that has chlamydia on his mouth! yucks!!! hahahaha.. 

play safe and be safe!


Sunday, August 31, 2014

blowjob scare, bottoms blowing bottoms, so what?!

hey, you wanna get a deepthroat? i give the best blowjob, no teeth, very nice, you will like it..

i was like.... i think im too horny already and not everyone can really stimulate me to make me hard that easily but fuck it i said yes..


surprisingly he lives round the corner and i was there in no time...

i walked into his room after him pointing me towards it asking me to enter as he closes he apartment front door.. in no time he stripped me down naked and he started to blow me...

gosh it was so exhilarating and it made me hard instantly and everything he said was true..

so after about 3-4 minutes i was like: hey, do you wanna take your clothes off?

.....*shakes head*.....

then i pulled his t shirt a little indicating that i want him to take it off and only then he took it off...

after a few more minutes i was like... take your pants off

*shakes head*

take it off now!

...*mouth still blowing me: no*.....

why not?

he ignored me...

take it off.... i try pulling his pants down but he grabbed my butt even tighter and blow me even harder...


then i try pushing him away but it made the bj better cos he was sucking it so hard as he doesnt wanna stop blowing and i was like in my mind thinking what the fuck is this guy trying to do...


he keep blowing me hard and fast and i was like having crazy thoughts in my brain...

why does he wanna hide his dick?

does he have a dick?

is he trans?

omgosh does he have some STD?

or is his dick really small?

or is his dick deformed? you can imagine all the crazy thought that a person could imagine....

and then this time i really push him hard enough for him to release my dick from his suction and i asked him: why do you not wanna take your pants off? you got STD?

NOLA!! crazy meh....


i dont want you to fuck me later



im a bottom i wont fuck you!

.... -.- .....

his moood just died....

what happened?

i didnt expect you to be a bottom

err.... ok? didnt my profile say that im a bottom?

these sohai people really didnt read a shit...

well, so what if im bottom? 

he just smiled...

so i say: well, i can speed up the process and cum now if you want...


then i DIY... and i edge all my cum to the point of blasting and i asked him where do you want me to shoot?

shoot it in my mouth...

-.- in my head i was like: i thought your mood died but you still want my cum ? -.-

and i asked him: you sure?

then i just shoot it all in and i was correct, he swallowed....

but seriously, whats wrong if i was a bottom if all you want is just a blowjob? does it make it less sexier? -.- you can really tell that as though he just cum and lost all sex interest when he heard that i was bottom -.-

in a way its a good reassurance point like what Kiddystick told me saying that I look like a TOP! muahahahahahaha.... Kiddystick we should meet up, you should meet the TOP TULS! lol

if i have a bottom in front of me with a thick tool i would blow him like crazy... wtf man seriously wtf...