t u l s

t u l s

Thursday, January 31, 2013

Young and Cute February 2.0....

ok so it is THE Young and Cute month of the Year again!!

last year I was quite boomz and crazy all about it cos the atmosphere and the requirement was high then, but this year, my february is packed with assignments, projects, presentations and exam!

i will definitely need some Young and Cute moment to keep me going, not being young and cute would make me tired and fat all the time!! lollll...

requirement for the month for me is to use the word Young and Cute whenever possible!! wohoooooooooooo!!! lol...

i think i need a break, my eyes are dying soon... im so sleepy i dont even know how to begin describing it..

i went through last year's February post and its so kelakar la just to go through all of it and its really amusing at times to just reflect on what you wrote a year ago and see how immature you are writing those nonsense but i guess thats just me! lollllll hahahaha...

i dowana grow up cos i wanna be Young and Cute! woooooooo...

its friday tomorrow, i'll be in the lab in the morn, work at noon and keith at night... cant wait to sleep.. im sleep deprived like to the max!!

so anyway..

I wish everyone reading this to be Young and Cute for the whole month of Fab! i mean FEB! lol hahaha... and dont be shy if youre a top, tops that are young and cute are rare ok!! i was always trying to get one but no market la... lolllll

Love,
TULS

ps i drew the pic below within 5 minutes, power ma? i know... dont say so loud i paiseh la... lollllllllllllll

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

do you tiptoe to shit?

how many of you noticed the position of your feet when you shit? hehe...

i know flat solid grip on the ground is easier and gives good qi to enter the body from the tanah to push the shit out but i tiptoe one!! :)

DO YOU TIPTOE AS WELL? LOLLLLLLLLLLL


Monday, January 28, 2013

i got chlamydia, so what?

some people are just insensitive, but what to do kan, people see std like chlamydia like a disease like that, when you have it, people thinks youre a dirty ho and will stay far far away from you.. lol..

well, up to now, only AIDS is incurable but people living with AIDS are living forever and it takes decades to kill someone with AIDS as there are medicine to slow the progression of the disease down..

so why the stigma? lol.. i know la, some people are laughing at their asses off that this silly tuls finally, finally contracted some disgusting mother fucking disease, ok lor... laugh lor... stay far far away from me lor... i dont need you in my life pun..

come near me i ATCHYOU shoot my mucus to you you will die in 7 days of my superbug clamydia!! niama!!

lollllllll..

so my treatment is done, and today im getting my hep b jab!!! :) wohooooooo!! its free like!! in malaysia i think it will cost you entah how much like.. lol..

WHAT IS CHLAMYDIA?

instead if youre wondering, its a CURABLE mother fucking disease, that is passed through intercourse! yes, oral sex pun boleh!!

50 percent of men doenst show any symptoms..

usually symptoms are quite vague also la, but mainly discharge lor... now the techno so canggih, just google and everything will pop out anyway..

usually long term complications are only teruk towards women, making them infertile and entah.. but like for us.. advantage ada sikit la..

like they say, play safe ok, i also need to promote save sex one although im quite safe too *rolleyes*... feeling syiok ma... muahhahahahha...

sexual health clinics in UK provides everything free.. in Malaysia i think you need to pay about 200RM to get the full STD screen i think.. if youre sexually active, can go check ba yearly, i did it back in malaysia but only for the HIV one that cost about 25RM..

chlamydia sounds like CLAM DIA, i clam him with my asshole can? lolllll hahahaha..

urgh... hectic month for me la February!! TULSie, jia you jia you!!! and if you perasan that you are laughing with bad intentions that I got chlamydia, i hope you no good die(bu de hao si) lol... good intention laughs are like, i also dont know.. ahahahahahaha...

its a lesson ba, to me and hopefully to those clean virgins who are reading this.. hahahahahahahahah...

xoxo



Friday, January 25, 2013

shock of my life... Part 3 - Chlamydia O.O

so i woke up at the particular time stated on the paper to call the clinic, before that i asked my friend over from across the hallway to teman me give me additional spiritual suppRots! lol..

ring ring...

hello, i would like to know my results please, patient number 29126..

just a mo..... .............................

................

........................

......

well, there are traces of chlamydia at your back passage.... ....everything else is normal.

you sure? nothing else?

yea... owWhat what?, and your hep B immunity is low, do you want to come in today and get the jab?

oh... that.. i will pop in next week....

no problem...

and so thats it. the course of antibiotic is done with and im cure!!!! hopefully stupid bacteria dont gain any resistance and just fuck off from my system la..

lol...

its kinda distressing to wait for results like...

im glad its over!!! :)

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

masturbate companion... left or right? :)

@splantz aka Asianophile(joking joking) asked an interesting question over at twitter!

because im under medication so i have to abstain from having sexual fantasies intercourse for the whole duration of treatment so ive got an excessive sport of masturbation! :)

and i was wondering is it just me or are there lots of people out there that are on the same boat as me..

what am i talking about?

well, im a right hander in nature but when it comes to the M-sport, im a LEFTY!! :) anyone else sama? lol

the picture below was taken when Keith was driving last weekend and it was pouring snow.. so pretty! :)


Monday, January 21, 2013

shock of my life... Part 2 - The Test

so i woke up at 8 in the morning knowing that the clinic opens at 9, ok lor, took my time put on thick thick clothing cos it was like 0 degrees.. niama...

the clinic was a 30 minutes walk from my place so ok lor, just walk lor, take it as morning exercise.. it was raining renyai renyai...

once i reach there, i register lor.. then take number.. lucky number 4 then..

when registering, quite funny one, they ask you what race are you, omgosh the list got like 26 over option tau...

i was quite torn between chinese and other asian.. i cannot tahan so i just told her im from malaysia.. lolll.. dont know what she tick la.. fuck it..

then i went in and waited at the waiting room lor.. got kiddo age 16 or maybe lesser(looks really young but maybe older than me i dont know la..), and also handsome dudes all in the room.. damn power.. but i look like shit cos baru bangun so fuck it...

...

....

the waiting was crazy..

i waited for 1 hour and 20 minutes only sampai my turn.. niama or not..

went in and then this lady doctor in her thirties one i think sat me down and started a convo..

so im going to ask you some questions and some of them might be quite ridiculous but its part of knowing the condition better ok?

ok..(as a student of the same field, im quite open la so i just take whatever question she tembak me with)

what are you here for..

my partner, erm... he has got a discharge and so here I am..... well, he went to one of the GUM clinic to do his check already..

and what did the doctor say?

well, NSU? then bla bla bla bla bla

then come the funny questions, of course she made it as comfortable as she could while trying not offend me but i can tahan one... lol.. but some of the question are really funny..

how old is your partner? i was honest when answering questions about keith...

what is your partner's name? and which clinic did he went to?

did you had oral sex?

did you had anal sex?

when having sex, do you usually receive or give?

did you use protection?

how many partners did you have in the past six months? this question i lied, i said 4, but i think.....erm... the number should be multiplied by ________. lol... not saying!!!!!!!!

well, did you use protection everytime you do it? well, to be honest, i lied too in this question.. urgh...

do you know any of their names? i lied too...

where did you meet them? i said online dating la, but it was actually phone app, so it was a lie as well..

do you usually give or receive when you have sex with them?

what area did you meet up with them?

are they caucasian or asian in origin or a mixture? hohoho... this one no lie.. this one i honest.. :) lol..





well, Mr Tuls, im just gonna take some blood from you, do a throat swap, a swap from your back passage as well as the front, and also I will need a urine sample..

now if you dont mind can you take off your pants and lie down by your side curling your legs up?

my asshole was exposed but i was not shy at all, i was like, come on sister, swap my ASS!!! a nurse was present there as well, shy nia aku, NOT!!!

and now if you could turn to the front...

omgosh... so geli, she pulled down my excessive foreskin, my foreskin was so thick she could hide her finger in it... joking joking.. lol...

im going to squeeze and see is there any discharge ok... and so she squeezed my dick head! no discharge!! :)

im just going to take a swap now alright, i think thats the worst feeling ever, it hurt so bad that omgosh i cannot describe, i winch when she swap me omgoshhhhhhhh.. HATEEEEEZZZZZZ!!

im sorry, did it hurt? yea... hm... im really sorry...

can you bring your feet up? and she started to examine my kaki.... and then my hands.. and she was like, syphilis is transmittable by the hands and feet and it is very common in the north east.. and i was like.. ok sister, whatever...

and if you dont mind, would you fill this bottle for me.. and she passed me the urine sample bottle..

ok, if you think that swapping the dickhole is painful, wait till you pee after that.. it was FUCKING PAINNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

after coming out from the toilet, Doctor, you asked me whether I experience any pain while urinating right? well, I do now... she laughed.. i think i was too rough and maybe its inflammed now, but it will be fine in a while... i laughed too.. damn sohai funny la... lol... but a few hours after that it was fine already.. lol..

so after the test, i was brought into another room where another consultant came to me..

now, i want you to finish this course of medicine, its a 7 days course.. and after this 7 days, call this number and they will tell you your results ok.. 

im not giving you the one off course because anal sex is involve and it might not be that effective in clearing up all the infection just in case if youre wondering...

i was like rolleyes... lol

and during the "consultation/lecture/info giving", i found out that there was a medication that if i were to have sex unprotected and fear that HIV might be involved, i could get a Jab that is effective protecting against HIV if given in 72 hours after exposure, and i could get it in any gum clinic or AnE department...

that was the most OMG-est statement that i heard so far...

i didnt know such medication exist, and it would be so so so so so so much helpful if malaysia has that too, dont know they got or not la but.. omgosh.... like omgomgomg!!!

i was with Keith the whole time through whatsapp, at least he was there for me la..oh yea, mr soul232 was giving me spiritual alhamdulilah too..lol
 
taking the med in the one of my pocket, and the other was the paper with the number to ring after a week, i walk home feeling like its the longest walk in my life..

after reaching home, although i feel tired and i could sleep back knowing that class is still hours away.. i just cant,........... just speechless... staring blankly at the dinding... being dramatic sikit... lol...

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

shock of my life... Part 1 - The News

as usual we had our normal weekly weekend meets cos im busy with my studies and he busy with work, and he lives at the next city so living together is still quite difficult cos of my hectic schedule..

anyway, sex is definitely one of the weekly programme that is compulsory and so when I was quite horny and ready to initiate the session Keith suddenly stood up and went to the next room and brought me a leaflet..

Non-specific Urethritis(NUS)...

for one second i went blank... i was like.. whats this?

and he went well, i went to the GUM clinic and had a check and they gave me this... (GUM = genito-urinary medicine, clinics to check the cibai and kukubird for STDs)

well, why did you go like?

mm.. i had a discharge...

what? when?

well, last weekend, and i went to the clinic on monday...

and you didnt tell me?

well, its not something i would wanna tell you over the phone...

but like.. you should have told me earlier and i could have went for a check earlier as well...

....hm... yea.. maybe i should...

.....

....


.....so... did the doctor say anything?

she cant see anything under the microscope and that is why NSU...

any meds?

well i was given 4 tablets of azithromycin...

chlamydia treatment... eee.....hm..... is your discharge like coloured?

well, its like white-ish...

hm.... have you had any before this like?

that was like 10 years ago!!!

hahahahaha.... .............................wait, after meeting me, did you had it with anyone else?

*pop eye* no, i havent been dating for quite awhile until i met you.. and after you.. no one..

hm... then its me then.... i wonder who gave it to me...

*POP EYE EVEN BIGGER* WHAT?!!!! HOW MANY YOU DID IT WITH??!?!

hihihihi... not telling...

geez....

continue cuddling...

im gonna first thing on monday...

doctor say no sex for a week..

well of course, i know!!! 

im just saying!! 

hahahahaha..... means no week for another week as well cos i will be under treatment..

*mission impossible 3 was playing on tv then....*

the atmosphere suddenly became quiet, with clouds of worries drifting everywhere...

doctor said it might just be a urinary tract infection, or maybe like change of new washing liquid or whatever..

i know... but like.. hm... yea la, hopefully nothing la...

whats la?

oh....la is like a suffix malaysians love to use it at the end of a sentence, its like how you guys love to use words like LIKE at the end of every sentence.. ok?

why only now you say it?

because im too comfortable around you already...

:)

continue cuddling.....

sunday night, instead of taking the bus to work like i usually do, i walk all the way there, took me a whole 40 minutes just thinking.. lol.. as though world end like that... but yea...

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

lee sen!

listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen...

WHEN I SPIG LISTEN!...

you know why my england so powerful? cos she is PIG and she SPIG!! ish stupid bitch zookeeper benciiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

squeeeeeeeeeze two boobs out!

so i folded my arms and squeeezed two moobs out(im sure everyone can do that) and snapped a pic of it and posted it on one of the dating website months ago..

and now that i opened it back.. the funniest message that i got was...

your breast blew me away...

-.-

Saturday, January 5, 2013

who dump who?


so i stumbled across this tweet and i was like hm... interesting!

lets break it down to 2 scenarios, he kena dump and he dump someone.. this statement kinda reminded me of my first relationship where that guy said to me(when we are still attached): ...something something... there's a whole line of guys waiting for me..

make me stun only, sei niama..i broke up with him a month after that.. and then a year after that i ended up with my bubu!! yayyyyyyyy!!

anywayyyyyyyyyy...

if he is the one kena dump, someone broke his heart and when he finally let go and move on, he realize that there are so many people line up just to be with him? means he good material kan? :)

what if he is the one that dumps, well, if he yang dump orang lain, i dont think there is anything to let go, more like just moving on kan.. more like he knows that there's a line of people waiting liao, so he just dump that guy and put this statement out to show to the whorld(exxagerated Whore + world) that he is the victim.. awww...

im kinda blonde in this matter leh..

WHAT DO YOU THINK? 
oh btw, simon tyc, if youre reading this, i think youre kinda cute! :) this is for educational purposes only, your tweets are public anyway.. muacks..

Friday, January 4, 2013

tuls resolution 2013!!

1. Be grateful
2. Graduate
3. More thrifty in expenditures
4. Don't take Keith for granted
5. Take the initiative to keep in touch with Malaysia

a life changing event just happen and it made me think even more.. was never been ill treated or suffer any major damage physical/emotional/spiritually so have to be grateful that im still here writing this! lol...

to graduate is memang a reality check, if i dont, memang fail la.. lolllll.. 5 more month, tuls jia you!

the third one, not to say that im not spending wisely now, i dont splurge on stuffs unnecessarily so still ok la, but feel like i still can do better.. haha.. oh well... this one quite keji.. tough tough...

Keith, hm... like deep down, i still miss bubu like, we didnt really break up hating each kinda thing, reason is not concrete enough, not valid enough but im.. haha.. i dont know la when can I let go.. or I will never get to let go... its easy to give advice and stuffs to other people as me being the third person, I wonder what will I say to myself if I come to myself for help... hm...

not like there isnt whatsapp, not like there isnt facebook, skype, email, snailmail etc... maybe im just giving too much excuse, sometimes the distance really makes me feel like im an alien living in another planet.. lol.. wrong metaphor but whatever la.. not to say malaysia is not part of me anymore, but like... its not the main priority now maybe? lol... oh well.. just make sure i dont go all fake.. random is good sometimes kan? lol

on more petty resolutions..

6. Do something about your body please, its lari-ing
7. Pakai parfum hari hari
8. Make sure bed room is tidy at all times!
9. Go on a well deserved vacation after graduation
10. Dont procrastinate too much
11. Dont masturbate too much
12. Try to be more open minded(very hard cos im very very very open liao)
13. Make a dance routine on Earthquake by Labyrinth! lol
14. Eat healthily
15. Manage time more efficiently

ei banyaknya resolution... lol

it was bubu and I's 3 anniversary yesterday..  i mean if we were still together.. haha..  ................was just wondering what would it be like if we were still together.. hm.......................... guess we will never know huh..


Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Happy new year semua! :)

From the coast of the northeast may I wish all of you good health and happiness! :)