TULS Quote of Wisdom...

MEN are from MARS

WOMEN are from VENUS

GAYS are from UR-ANUS!

the day you realize you love someone so much...

with bubu, i love him so much since the day i met him and my love towards him never changed throughout the 21 months we were together..

with keith, i think its kinda the same..

i think im the type that if i think im really into him, i will fall for him fast, love him to bits and keep loving him till the end...

when i got separated with bubu, it was so hard living so far away from him being 7000 miles apart..

i cried so hard over the first few months when i first got here..

with Keith, it was today that i cried the hardest..



its been almost two months since we separated, it is only today when i really see him again after so long that i realize i really do love him this much..

the whole time we were together, never did i say i love him, nor from him to me..

its always been unclear or just a mutual understanding thing..

from him fetching me from mine back to his, and then have breakfast together, then watching him coming home in the evening and with cuddles and kisses all seems so nostalgic and its kinda like what we would do before...      he would fetch me from my place, i used to live 30mins drive away from him and he would come pick me and back to his place then drop me off home too... breakfast was our saturday routine where he would make it and present it in front of me and wake me to eat it.. this time i was the one who was doing it and it feels good... coming home in the evening was a routine thing when i started working.. cuddles and kisses are usually to end the day and so today was kinda like a collection of things we would do kinda thing and it just feel so so comfortable..

i miss keith a lot...

i really do...

its only today that i realize that i love him so much... being with keith is so comfortable, its so... i feel so taken care of... he is a gentleman, he spends money wisely, he is caring, sometimes doesnt really know how to express his feeling but thats ok, its a very manly trait thats quite cute in a way...

he is so so plain and basic and his life is so simple... its so me... i feel like what we want is so similar...

all these while even after separating i still have his set of house keys..

today i asked him: hm.... do you want your key back?

saying that brought me to tears...

and he replied: well, only if you want to...

...


i slowly unchain the keys from my keychain and as i put it in his hands, it started raining down my cheek...

it feels like im officially ending something, something that i love so much and im kinda giving up on it... which makes me feel so terrible...

me crying makes him hug me even tighter and of course he teared too, he tries to hide but.. haha... red eyes dont lie..

i think i cry hard for a good whole minute or 2 and then i just uttered out: if only you were 20 years younger....

he hugged me even tighter and replied: if you were 20 years older i would marry you tomorrow...


i feel so happy to hear that and i... i cry even harder...

thats when i realize that the next one that i love, i will kinda go all out and try to make it work, and marriage would be the ultimatum and it would be so so meaningful and special...

he sent me home after that...

it was not easy, breaking up is not easy, letting go is even harder...




i just hope everything will be ok..

im such a wreck now.. haha... im like a crybaby today...

xmas at keith's..

Keith!!! rescue me!!!

mm...

my landlord wants to invite me to his mums for dinner! awkward!!! no.....

lol, i'll see you in an hour?

ok!!!

youre cooking!!

err... no problem!!!!

and so i packed all my chicken and mushrooooms and oyster sauce and king prawns, thought of making him kingprawn chicken in oyster sauce with mushroom cos i know its his favourite, i even brought along a tub of ice cream and bread just in case wanted some toast...

i brought my laptop and all my gadgets plus my toiletries... and also some homework cos i know keith will be heading to his mum's sometime for xmas dinner...

anyway..

so he came and fetched me back to his place..

so... what time you wanna eat?

well, after this when we get home..

ok!!! well, im making us oyster sauce kingprawn and chicken ok! with lots of mushrooooooms!! i know you love your mushroooms!!

you know i love my mushrooms but im going over to mothers for dinner later...

err... so?

well... i cant be having that then dinner...

why not?

cos it would be like a 4 course thing...

well, what about tonight then?

well... i will be toooo full then...

but... you said that im cooking?!

well breakfast..

-.- oh..... but i brought a kilo of chicken and 2 pounds worth of mushrooom!! 

WHAT!!!

how would i know?!?!?!

hahahahaha

so what you want to eat?

well, coffee and toast?

-.-



so we reach his place with 2 presents waiting for me.. aww... so sweet...

there was a card attached to it but i didnt read it... i put it aside and we hugged for a good 5 minutes...

he eyes were in tears...

that made me teared too...

he said he missed me so so much...

hm...

i do too but... ...as a friend now...

then..

in the midst of the hug he said the three words...

hm....

well i dont know how to comprehend or react i just kept hugging him and just stay put...





it was nice...

the feeling was good...

to hug someone you loved before...




i made us breakfast, the way he likes his toast, loads of butter with a thin layer of peanut butter, strong nescafe gold blend with half sugar and 2 coffeemate... hm... and we sat by the fire watching tele and enjoy breakfast...


we kinda kissed but could feel that i was avoiding the lips... and i think he get the signal but that didnt stop him from hugging me... after breakfast we hugged and cuddled for about an hour before he left to his mums...


i admit i have a hard on(which is rare) and he did too and we almost did it but i know it would hurt him too much if we did so we didnt...


while he was hugging me from behind..


so... have you met anyone lately? (i saw the box of condoms that he had when i first met him)

erm.. yea....

(acting shocked) what?!?!

well, you dumped me!!! 

hahahahahahaah... what!!!

so did you had sex?!!?

well.. sort of ....

what do you mean?

well, you know im shy....

urgh....

how tall is he?

well about... 5' 6?

gosh, you can lift that with one hand!! so turn off!!

lol.. youre evil!!

what!!!!

youre the tallest asian i met and to be honest i was quite intimidated by you!!

WHY?!?!?!?! I AM SO TAMED!!

but youre so big!! well, not big..... as in tall!

-.- i know mine is cute! fine! go away!!!




so... how old is he??

about 30..ish..

hm... cute?

well, not too bad...

urgh... good for you...

i miss you so much....





....are you gonna meet him again?

well, yea.....unless....

huh?

unless...(looking at me hinting)...

keithy, no unless....YES then i will meet him again...

-.-

(both laugh)



then he went to his mums after that....




i took a shower, i layout all my toiletries and my hairdryer on the table of my old changing room... it feels.... ... .....so nostalgic....

its been almost 2 months...



then i remembered the card,


i sat down on the long sofa and tug myself under the blanket in front of the fire and start reading the card...

it was only a short paragraph but i couldnt stop crying after that...

it goes like....


Dear Tuls,

Wish you every happiness and hope you find someone to share your life with. I guess I always knew we would be together for only a short time but I was always so happy with you there, Love you always..

even typing this make me cry...


yes...

yes i did love him a lot before...

but...

...

haha...

i dont know...

well, i know what i want but....



i just saw the card i gave him last week in front the fire place...



Keithy,

You know I love you and I will always do. Its been a very difference experience being with you, with the age difference and all but I never regretted knowing you and being with you. You were a great part of my life and will always be. You must never feel bad thinking that youre not good enough for someone. Wish you all the best Keithy. Merry Xmas. Love, me..



Anyway I'm sat at the same position, watching Peter Pan while typing this.. its almost 1pm now.. its a cold day today... but the fire is keeping me warm...

Merry Xmas everyone...

sex conversation...

this post is inspired by Kiddystick's SEXASATION.


new sex couples are usually more verbal, more tolerable, more naive, more understanding, more intense... impressions are quite intense at the first round so we kinda wanna give out our best first impression during sex so that the other party would want it more in the future.. partners would usually tolerate imperfections(pain, smell, sweat, lighting, voices, surrounding) more during the first few times... having said that, they usually will come prepared with fancy perfumes, clean shaved body, lots of lube, maybe douched etc..

humans we learn from experience and usually sex would get better over time as we know each other's pleasure points and what not to do kinda thing..

talking about basic words that are uttered during sex, i only can come out with the following..... and oh, this is from a bottom's point of view la k.. the list is not exhaustive so feel free to add in the comments below ok..


ahhh eeeee iiiii ooooo uuuu(depends on individual moans)....
fuck me...
harder,...
slow down...
deeper....
yea baby...
ah.... slow down tiger...
thats soooo deeep... ahh.....
where do you wanna cum? 
cum all over me!!!
in my mouth!!
im gonna cum im gonna CUM AHHHHHH!


after being in a relationship long enough, you will be surprise on what conversation surfaces during sex..


ahhh ahhhh.....hey, what do you wanna have for breakfast tomorrow morning...
hey, i just realize you got a mole on your arm...
fuck.. fuck.. fuck... ouch, it hurts, told you to go slow before this right?!!
lets try something else, im quite tired squating...
are you coming soon? no? hm... can we continue it later? my ass is sore...
i like it when you do it sideways, can you just keep it at that position please...
ouch, ouch, wrong hole wrong hole... no no no.... ...do you wanna switch on the lights?


or maybe sometimes.. sex doesnt even happen....


sorry, im not ready for sex tonight...
havent shit yet, feeling stuffed, tomorrow la...
im quite tired... maybe tomorrow...
i got no mood... tomorrow la...
i cum 4 times today already while youre at work, hm... maybe tomorrow...


anyone of you had kinda similar conversations before? hahahaah... care to share!!??

tell me those arent just me? i dont know la... lol

post cum...

10 mins after cuming...



ee.....

why wet one...

*use finger wipe off cum from dickhead*

*taste in mouth*

mmmm.........

yumyum..

Ups and Downs..

lets talk about the Ups ok...

Well, Im like totally over Frankie.. period.

well, it wont be easy if i havent met little Tom. :) hahahahahah.. suddenly another character came up! hahahaha.. its so so so  confusing for me too cos I realize there are lots of fake names that i came up with and I wont be surprise if I mixed one of them up with another... lol

anyway...

well, Little Tom and I are just going out as friends.. nothing more.. the fact that im not sure whether I'll be here permanently or not kinda decide the state of us now... moreover his ex(an asian) that needs to leave the country in January kinda got engage and getting married end of this month 2 months after breaking up with little Tom. so Tom has his own reservation on the whole relationship issue ..

haha..

but that aside, im kinda quite happy right now with what i have and what im going thru now...

Tom reminds me of bubu in a way, a little shorter than me, dark hair with a little dash of blondeness, slim, cute to me, huggable and just so... haha.. and still a virgin... oh my, friends say that im a virgin magnet.. i cant really help it la.. hahahaha...

.......

I moved in to this new place...

Keith's house used to be my room and now my room is my room and to fit Keith's house into my room is just impossible hahahaha.. so in a way my room is kinda cramped and feels like im a student all over again...

i have the whole house to myself most of the week as my landlord works away quite often but when he comes back, gosh, the state of the house is crazy, a mess, dirty and what not and i will be like the maid that cleans up after that...

remember reading or watching cinderella cleaning the floors with cloth and everything, i do that too, like the same, using cloth and tissue rubbing the bathroom and all.. haha.. but once the house is clean i got a sense of satisfaction :)

........

Niey is in surgery as we speak, or maybe its been done but i havent heard from him...

i just hope it goes well this time round, its the brain that is been cut up...

i couldnt contain myself last night when we spoke before him going in...

........

Xmas this year is in the mid of the week Wed and Thursday holiday and im fucking working Monday Tue and Friday.. kinda stupid and silly cos i cant take any holiday in december -.-

and being in the angmo cuntry, everything shuts on xmas day, all transportation system is down and all shopping malls etc.. basically its just a dead day...

so i think i will just rot and lay egg on xmas day...

landlord asked me to join him on xmas... e....... sounds dodgy, so i might think twice.. havent accept it yet.. so see how la...

........