we had a share of public sex all over town, not caught of course. The experiences were heart-pounding both physically and mentally. sex is fun if both parties are honest and true to each other. you can feel the sincerity when you make love. You will know if its a revenge sex or breakup sex. The emotions, the thrust, the feelings they are all different.
Things started to fall apart shortly after 2 years in the relationship.
He started making new friends. I mean friends come and go for all of us and it should be deeply encouraged anyway. Peer influences on the other hand, should be cautioned at all times. I see babyZ started to go to temple more and more often with his new found friends. They were obviously very religious in a way. Thats fine. I even stop eating beef the whole time i was with him anyway. Sacrifices are needed in a relationship, it happens. I mean i respect his culture. He doesnt mind me eating it but i kinda chose to anyway.
What irks me the most is after two years into the relationship he kinda ask me to be a buddhist. If you love me, then be a buddhist, we can pray together, we can go to temple together, I will introduce you to my new friends. Those were the exact words he said. Hm.... Well that was quite annoying. I mean I do go to the temple with him like every special occasion if he wants to. I believe in God but I dont really believe in religion, knowing that and yet he still wants me to join is just.... how should i put it, inconsiderate? I mean come on, we have been together for 2 years, there wasn't a problem in terms of our faith 2 years back anyway. Why now?
Obviously I hold on to my grounds and principle and said no. That kinda build some tension between us.
Then comes my birthday. Obviously he got me a present. I know in the western part of the world you would open the present there and then but I was being Asian and kept the present and opened it at home after our "celebration". Well it was just a dinner as he has some "stuffs" to do after that. Seems like I wasnt the most important thing in his life anymore then. ha. whatever.
Anyway I opened the present and guess what! :) It was an FCUK shirt. First glance was like, oK. Good la. I dont have one anyway, I mean all my life Ive been working since 16 and I wont even get me anything more expensive than a TOPMAN whatever anyway so that was like kinda a great deal in a way then. Then as i look at it again, that shirt was kinda off in a sense. I looked again and found that the FCUK stitching was really sucky and that some of the thread were out. I was like hey, this is not right. haha. my heart was kinda itchy already. Then as i checked again, i found a hole at one of the underarms. I was pissed. Being me, I just smiled it away. I called my bestie and told him about it la. Well, bitchy ma. So he said that I should talk to babyZ about it and maybe ask him to get it changed la. Fine. I called.
Hey baby, I got something to tell you..
Well, the shirt you gave me...Yea? some of the thread is out...oh....and there is a hole near the pits there...
ok my heart is itchy already... i had to ask...
where did you buy it from?
i got it when i went to the trip in Jakarta with my family...
well in my mind, the refund or exchange is out of the question already.. but i still dont really feel comfortable...
erm... but like where did you get it from?what? like is it original?
i had to ask.
why are you asking me this? why are you questioning my sincerity?
omgosh.. i think i hang up one or two lines after that. i dont remember what i said after that line. I was so so so angry.
first of all, its a birthday present.
second of all, im not questioning his sincerity because if he was sincere he would have checked the product before buying. clearly he didnt. and to be honest it feels like a fake, i mean, hey, im not judging, i wore pasar malam clothes before, really whatever, but like seriously that line pissed me off..
the tension grew even bigger after that... i think i disregard the shirt and kinda forget about it and assume that it didnt happen..
following that, we went out one weekend to 1U, the tension is clearly still there. At times there were total silence and it was quite awkward and weird in a way. it was about 5-6 years ago and i dont think i can remember what or how did the conversation started but until the day i die i will always remember what he said that day: if you dont want to date me, there is a whole line of guys waiting to do so..
i dont really see the point of doing that. trying to flaunt his popularity? hm.... humans changes over time.
a few days later after that i dont think i can take anymore of the nonsense anymore. There were so many so many minor details in the past that wasnt an issue but because of all the collective recent happenings, it kinda contributed a little to the decision of breaking up with babyZ.
This relationship ended after 2 and a half years.