this is the thing, they met online and agreed to meet for dinner then stay over for the night at my friend's place. they never met before but when he arrived, oh my gucci he was fucking fat and older from his pic, then he revealed that the pic he put on msn is when he was 20 years old and now he is what? 34? siao kia!! if me i would totally just say byebye.. then nevermind, i think my friend also damn excited over this and had been preparing his house for the "night" so he just keep cool and stayed for dinner..
back at my friend's place after dinner, that guy rushed him to have sex.. that one still ok la.. the guy dint rinse his mouth nor take a shower, dirty ass, minus point for first date.. then nevermind, he was wearing a cap when they meet and when he removed it, OMGG he was bald in the middle!! like seriously!! minus 21 points!! eeww.. i dont know how my friend can tahan lor like seriously.. if its me i wont even let him in my house.. thats like.. yer... sorry la im kinda superficial one.. oh well.. anyway.. my friend showered and everything then after that they start.
he kept asking my friend to lick his nipple.. then later he ask him to give him a blow.. omg.. his dick was like fucking smelly... and sweaty.. i never put a smelly dick in my mouth.. like seriously.. NEVER!! its like my own slut rule established since day one that if the dick is smelly, its forbidden!! then they mouth fucked each other and then the guy cum-med after my friend gave a few blow!! so sohai.. then he say he wanna leave.. oh my goodness!! so inconsiderate!! mate, if youre reading this, please do some reflection and learn from your experience.. try to maintain a certain standard even though its a fling...
standard procedure...
make sure he is presentable and looks like the pic he showed you on msn etc.. if he is not then say BYE BYE
- shower
be clean as in literally all over la come on... youre gonna be with that person for a few hours right, cant you take the effort to just clean up a bit? make sure no sweat la firstly.. yes you may say that you will sweat later but still!! start fresh!!
- brush you gigi!!
no one wants to french kiss and exchange chili seeds or chicken meat ok.. yucks!!
- wash your kukubird!!
no one wants to smell your ammonia filled uncut sac and creamy dick cheese ok!! thats just totally gross!!
its called smegma by the way.. go google it :)
- release the dragon
its a ritual for bottoms like me to release dragon before doing it.. i wont even agree for a sex date if i had not release the dragon from the dungeon.. hahaha..my asshole wont even open up if its filled!! so.. make sure your dragon dont play hide and seek with you!!
- short nails
you dowana finger your fling and make him bleed right? actually i kena before so this is like also a reminder for myself.. hahaha.. once your ass is hurt, wanna anal also no mood liao...
- helmets and lube!!
play safe right? marketplace gives out free Coral condoms.. being the cheapo me i will go ambik secara meluas bile pergi sana!! haha.. KY would do..
- stretches
its good to warm up before doing it.. you will be stuck in that certain position for sometime so numbness and cramps might occur..
- watch porn before that
its good to follow porn these days as it provides you the standard positions to do and some different exotic poses.. different races and different ethnics have different rituals.. but just follow the ang moh one la.. more pleasure but the bottom torture skit la cos your leg will be thrown here la , then one leg there la , then invert la.. etc.. go watch la..
- on the radio
just incase anyone is a screamer then at least can mask the sound!!
- towels and tissue
essential items..
i think still got banyak lagi but now cannot think liao.. tomorrow i got my placement :( saturday fully occupied liao.. :(
tumbs up to the standard procedure! LOL! I'd be a great guideline to fling-ers out there
ReplyDeletei didnt know u r top, tuls!
ReplyDeleteHhahahaha...
I read your blog in KLIA...scroll down and suddenly the 'cock pic' came out, I was like..OMG....there are ppl walking behind me....Ngor Sui Sai Dou Ng Ching lah...(water also can't clean!)
ReplyDeletethis story sounds so familiar....wuahaha, never been on a fling, maybe can learn some things from this, haha
ReplyDeleteJason: You'd be a freat guideline to fling-ers? You typed "I'd be..."
ReplyDeleteSkyhawk: That's a good subtle way to tell people you're gay. Who knows? There might a hot hunk walking behind you and then saw it and know you're one of them too and approach you for a hot session. Hahahaha!!!
Tuls: I laughed when I read where bottom's legs will be thrown here and there as if they treat bottom gay like lifeless sex doll. Hahahaha!!!
that pic looked so familiar... XD
ReplyDeletei find this post very useful. thanks
ReplyDeleteomg~ a dirty cock? ewww.... i will ask tat guy to fuck off immediately !!!
ReplyDeletethats why i prefer cut guys. they dont wanna clean? dont wanna shower? no smell!
ReplyDeletebut seriously, guys with bad hygene should be shooed off. I would like have shooed off the guy immediately unless he gets a shower. It's damm disrespectful to whomever you're having sex with.
that balding old juice of farts should have just gotten a gigolo instead. They're more professional and wont complain about a smelly dick (its their profession to take all of those.
Lol, love is blind. What to do?
ReplyDeleteAnyway the pre-making love procedure, good refresher.
@jason ~ hahahahaha.. what the.. hahahaha.. erm.. i think these will be the basics la.. the advance ones i think still got alot.. :)
ReplyDelete@takashi ~ er... im NOT!! hahahaha... where got state that i am meh?
@skysky ~ if water cannot use then try organic solvent !! :)
@orange-wee ~ er... ahaaahahaha.. ok ok!! use it wisely!!
@CJ ~ that one kumar taught me one! :) hahahaha.. she is one helluva funny crap!! hahahaha..
@dancerboy ~ erm.. yours or mine? i cant remember le...
@lucifer ~ ??? hahahaha... ok. glad that i helped :)
@Leuleu ~ i know right! its like us sluts need to get ready an axe, TAI YAT KOR ZHAM YAT KOR!!!
@foxy ~ erm.. who say no smell one? also got la.. you inexperience la i think.. hahahha.. still have to wash but cut ones easier to clean lor.. thats all..
luckily im not a gig! i will and forever will be a slut if im single :) hahahaha..
@chen xing ~ yalor.. its always the case.. :) no prob!!
Noted on the standard procedures! xD
ReplyDeletehahahaha.. alex, dont sweat it!!
ReplyDelete