Dear tuls...

I'm 20. I have a bf who is much older than me. We've been together for almost a year now. Things are starting to slow down. I feel like we don't connect the way we use to when we first started. He doesn't reply my text even though he has read it. He blocked his last seen so no one knows when he was last online. Clearly it had 2 blue ticks indicating that he read it. When I call, he doesn't answer, he doesn't even call me back. This happened countless of times and I'm starting to feel the pain. 

We both work and sometimes for really long hours. We don't stay together and that really makes meeting up very hard. We try to meet up as much as we could but sometimes we only meet once a week even though we both live in KL. 

There's a lot going on in my life right now. I just want him, i just need him, to be there for me, and make everything else go away. But now, I'm really tired. 

There's this one time where I thought he was flirting with another guy. I confronted him. Only to find out that the guy was a close friend and those were just harmless gestures and conversation. I know I'm jealous. I can't help it. I know it is wrong. But... We..... There's isn't much flirting going round when we first started. Not to say that he is incapable, but I just never get it from him. Is it wrong for me to feel jealous? 

We argue every now and then. ...What should I do? I reflect on my actions. I just couldn't control myself and sometimes I just cry for hours. 

I think I broke his trust. Not to say he doesn't love me. We do love each other. But I think I need to trust him more. But all these slow text and calls and replies are making me go crazy. I feel like if I'm in an accident and I reach out to him, I would have bled to death when he finally calls me back. 

****************************

You are very young. You want excitement. You feed on it. You want attention. You want passion. It's normal. Sometimes when a partner do not give you what you crave, well, it could be dangerous in the relationship. You will source it from somewhere else, well that's the bad part. The good part is you guys are argueing. I'm guessing that you guys do talk about your frustration that led to the arguement. Good thing. It kinda still mean that you want all the above from him. You don't go and get it somewhere else!...

I don't know how old is he but I'm guessing he is an old sloth. He had went through many of these kinda situation and maybe he is immuned to all these. Well I guess the only way to tackle these kinda sloth is to be the bigger person. Some sloths are just useless in changing their habits. But what can you do? You have fallen for a sloth. Not to say you need to accept it. But, trying looking at the bigger picture.

He is not cheating on you. He is just a little slower in replying. Ok. Maybe a lot slower. But in the end, he still comes back to you. It is not easy to find a guy who loves you and is loyal! I'm assuming he is.

It seems like you have trust issues. All young bloods do. And when i say young blood, it doesn't correlate with age. More on experience. Anyway... you just need to understand. Your bf might be in a time where he is focusing much more in career advancement than a relationship. Or maybe he is facing mid life crisis. Or quarter mid life or whatever crisis you can think of.  But saying that, he still met you and you guys work a relationship out regardless.

I think, just from your story, there are priority issues. Your next conversation with him, maybe you can try talking about priorities. Don't lash it out asking him where do you stand. Maybe trying asking him his priorities in life, what he wants, where he wants to go, what are his goals, and what he wants in the future and does his future has you in it.

If you can see the future with him and so does he, then I think a little sloth is worth the wait. You need to see the bigger picture. Maybe you are too young to see it but if you don't try, you won't know.

I hope it helps. Nothing is easy in life. You just need to make the best out of what you have and what is given to you.

p.s. Dont overthink. It doesn't do you any good.

xo
tuls

my first POZ friend...

hey tuls, haven't met for a long time!! wanna meet up?

that was a text on facebook after 7 years of not meeting. he was my mate in highschool. we were close back then but of course with time, we grew apart minding our own little lives...

Carter gave the green light as we were reading that message together and after a few hours i was out the door to a cafe nearby...

he lost weight, a little darker than before, still tall as usual... still lame and funny.

we talk about everything under the sun, him and his life... work... studies... his big promotion...

me and my UK, studies, work, and basically everything to sum up the 7 years of absence...

and then...

he came out to me...

he used to have a gf... that being said, it's not an excuse for me to exclude him from the gay equation but i just never would have thought that he is.. maybe cos we used to be so close that the thought never came up?

anyway...

he told me about his sluttiness...

the usual...

not to say all gays fuck around... but like... with the apps and all, it's not as hard as it used to be...

i didnt hold back in telling him a little extra about myself too... and with that i came out to him too... not a surprise to him it seems, i wonder why........lol

anyway....

just when i thought that he fully came out from the closet, the next news he told me send him straight back in to where he started...

he is infected.

shutting himself out from everyone... well, except his bf...

i was so curious.... does your bf know?

yes, but he refuse to leave me, he is the one kinda taking care of me now..

wow...

its been 2 years...

oh... wow....       are you on meds?

yea... it's my first week...

oh.... ok. huh, as in... your CD4 just only drop? i mean like usually treatment starts when your CD4 count drops below a certain level...? and if im not wrong, current guidelines recommend to commence treatment as soon as infection is detected no?

hm... yea.... but.... i wasn't ready... so yea....

2 years huh.....

hm.....

you know who you got it from?

erm.... nope...

wait... do you bottom much?

well, i tried once but i didnt enjoy it...

oh, i mean like usually bottoms are more prone according to survey...

hm....

like.... do you use protection...?

er........... ..... ...... ......


with that pause, i knew he never use it at all...


how did you found out at first anyway?

one day when my bf and i wanted to do it.. we started kissing and he went down... as he was going to give me a bj, he stopped and said that there were red dots all over my dick and asked me to go get checked just incase...

hm....

i went... ....and i had Syph and also HIV....

2 in 1 combo...

haha... yea....   syph was gone after antibiotics... but yea...  before that too i kept falling sick and i have shingles and stuffs... i didnt realize i was infected then...

and like your bf... is he?

no.... he is not...

and he sticks with you till now? o m g how long have you guys been together?

3 years..

ok... win liao... like these kinda bf is rare and extinct!

hmm... yea....

..... you guys.... still do it?

no...

o m g! 3 years, no sex?

yup....

i will die if i monk for 3 months... lol..


and with that, i have my first POZ friend! lol. not that im collecting types of friends or what. but like, i mean i do know friends that are POZ that doesn't know that i know, usually through gossips... but like this is a friend that tells me directly. so yea, that makes him my first.

sky was pouring...

the heavens are crying....

it was gloomy and so i suggested that we go for a karaoke session and sing all our sorrows away...

2 years of knowing and preparing himself to start on a lifelong decision, taking meds on time is crucial because even taking an hour late from the proposed time could help the virus gain resistance to the current meds... HIV meds will keep increasing in that manner... i know a patient who was taking 40 tablets a day to control his infection. thats like crazy a lot. and hiv tablets are fucking huge.

so.... any side effects from the meds ?

haha.... i was flying ....

lol... like what? like high?

yup... sometimes i couldnt even get up in the morning... lol .... i think i need to get a doctors letter saying that im on meds that could make me woozy in the morning... lol... dowan later my company thinks i ponteng....

hm... true true....

o m g! no wonder you're so thin!!!

= ="

i also wanna be thin!

i slap you!



be safe people, be safe...
tuls

coping....

just found out that a dear friend's mum had passed on...

i don't really know how you feel, and i wont even try to imagine. i do not dare to picture my mum leaving me. it won't be easy for you. it might take some time...... or it might take forever for you to be ok. i dont know what is going on in your mind. i dont know whether has it hit you yet.

sometimes we wish that we could turn back time. i know that this is the time that you would wish for that.

when my granddad left us, it didnt really hit me until a month later. then, my tears were flowing like a broken tap. i was trying to be strong, i was trying to be ok. i smiled and i laughed. i go on living day to day knowing that someone dear to me is gone. never to return. i can only imagine that this hits you 10x or maybe 100x harder than what i had gone through.

i'm here for you.

your bf is there for you.

your friends will try to be there for you if you need them.



i just hope you found a way to cope.

still honeymooning...

hello bloggie. i am still at a tropical island having my morning breakfast with champagne :)

Carter's parents is coming to meet us as we speak. It is nice to spend time with the in laws. Not like we are married or anything. lol. I think this would be the third time going on a trip with Carter's parents. The nice part is his parents are cool, very open minded, very acceptive, easy going. I don't have to hide myself around them. I know im good with parents. lol. Maybe im just good with people in general *flip hair*...

but yea...

i just hope that this vacation doesnt end..

on the bright side we are going on a family trip with his parent next month again. lol. so yea, at least there is something to look forward to. some people hate when their in laws tag along in their vacation. lol. mine are a joy. and they laugh at my jokes! plus point! lol.

ok this is just a short updates. see you guys soon.

axe oh
tuls

honeymoon again...

so tomorrow we will kick off the next leg of our honeymoon.... a two week long tour across 2 countries! can't wait...

i am so excited that i couldnt sleep now...

i just need to get through work tomorrow and then i will be off!!!

lube, checked!
clothes... yup
bath salts!
hair spray!
my car...
bottled waters... ok...
shoes...
money....
passport.. oh my... nearly forgotten....

blah... cant think already...

ok... bye bloggie, will see you shortly :)

embarrassed grandson...

i went to a different branch outlet to work today. the branch is located in a shopping mall. the shop was full of people when an elderly man walked in..

he was walking up and down looking and browsing... isle to isle, item to item.. with his squinting eyes, he slowly put what he needs into the basket provided..

then came a fine young gentleman, prim and proper, with a slim tie, approaching the old man...

"this is my grandson" the old man proclaimed with a stern voice, making sure those around him knows about it.

when he walked to the cashier, he told the cashier staff the same thing.

when he came up to me to get some advice, he said it again too.

over and over he repeated the same thing to a point where it was kinda annoying..


his grandson, unbothered, was going through some hair products at a side...


i was just observing..... and i wonder, why is he so proud of his grandson? is he the gem of the family? or is it some behavioural condition that made him keep repeating himself?

standing at his grandson's shoes, i wouldve been so embarrassed by my own grandpa keep telling everyone that im his grandson.. maybe not embarrassed... maybe just annoyed?

seeing this old man reminded me of my own grandpa, how he was when he was still here, coping with Alzheimers, i think he wouldve done the same thing too.. if he goes out with me and kept telling everyone that im his grandson, i don't think i will be annoyed, i think i will be proud, feel blessed. like hey, his memory is gone or weak but at least he still remembers me as his grandson!! lol... but yea...

i miss grandpa...

i wonder what is it like over the other side when one has passed...

hmm..

Wonderer
tuls

where am i?

i last blogged in August, and before that i did too, inconsistently throughout the year since i came back from abroad.

what happened?

nothing slutty of course.


i was trying to get myself adjusted with everything.

my house no longer belongs to just me and my mum. there are other tenants that are living here now. mum rented practically whatever she could just to get some side income while i was away. it turned out quite well now as it is.

the weather has been a bitch. i always had this eczema thing going on. the heat was always my enemy and would be permanently a problem for me in this country. but of course, it's just heat, there are always alternatives to cool the body down....

trying to get a job then. i still have debts from my schooling days. im really glad that my awesome loaner didn't really rush me to pay him back what i owe. and im really glad that i had finally paid all that Keith had lend me for my tuition fees back in uni where my funds was cut off cos my awesome dad decided to use it for something better than my education. blah.

socially...
i was fresh in the market in Malaysia after 3 years of absence... well i assumed i was fresh.. lol still fabulous plus 10kilos extra! lol... yea i gained it in the first few months i came back. haha. some liked it, some hated it, most of us got used to it. i became plus size. yay. lovely. trying to get back in shape. that's been a problem since rice is my best friend and here in Msia we practically have rice-y meals in every street of the country!


and so i brought jboy to explore marketplace, met SKP over there. such a small world, SKP is very interesting! to those who doesnt know him,  he is loud, but he is kind and has a hot bod. lol promo sial. good bf material! lol.... .....but yea, i felt so out of the game when i was there. 3 years older makes me feel like i lost touch and i lost my game and i feel like i don't fit in the scene anymore.

i slowly gathered my army and got reunited with once upon a time friends and bloggers. the GB gang is now quite awesome in my opinion! the GB gang consist of 5 bloggers from my golden era. We try to meet up and hang out as much as we could. Effort is important in every relationship. You won't get anything out of it if you don't put any effort in maintaining it.

i tried dating, downloaded grindr, tinder, it's just so strange now to think of what i did then.

i met people.

after coming out from four different awesome relationships, i have my expectations. i have my doubts.

lots of instant cross out in guys that i was looking for. some criterias were quite substantial, some were superficial.... ....for example a guy in his 30s but still doesnt own a car nor have a driver's license despite having a decent good paying job; or the guy that doesn't have an air conditioning unit in his 2 room apartment; some are just sexually incompatible; mostly aren't interested in relationships...

then i met.... Carter. :)

it feels like my broken life has fallen into place. everything that i was looking for in a partner, he has it. but everything that i wasnt looking for, he has it too :)

no one is perfect they say.

so for a relationship to work, we try to cherish the other's pros, and of course we need to learn how to adapt to his cons, everything is about balance and compromise.

Carter smokes. I hate guys who smokes. He knows that. Compromise is that he never smoke around me. When he does, he always uses the lighter to compass the direction of the wind and sat at the direction of the flow so that I won't be affected :) also, i think i got addicted to his hands after he has a fag or two. I'm so used to that scent after smoking that if we ever meet and he hasnt smoke, and if i sniff his hands which i always do, my face would change. lol. the WHY-HAVENT-YOU-SMOKE face. lol..

on my end. i fart. i love to fart. i don't know how he compromise it. i just assume he does. lol. im not saying that he should. lol. i don't want him to get used to my fart-ings. he just does. somehow he did. ok i feel like this part of me sucks. but i feel like that is like one of my worst thing about me. obvious ones. maybe my friends doesn't need to know, ok maybe you guys doesnt need to know. but like whatever. im human. i fart. and i love to tell. lol. if you wanna hear it please hang out with me and i shall whisper it to you, lol, more like bombard it at your face.

we officially got together at Langkawi, the honeymoon period started then and i dont think it ended yet.

Carter wants it to be different this time. It is really different for me as he works abroad. It seems like long distance relationship all over again but we both put in effort to not make it feel like it.

he would travel to meet me as often as he could, once or twice a month, some short trips, some long ones..

we would go to places that we've not been, new places, new memories for the both of us... we travel almost every month to somewhere new.. it's something i don't see myself doing if it wasnt for him.. living life to the fullest..

i love it when we did a road trip from KL to Ipoh and then Penang and to Perlis then cross the border over to Hatyai, drive all the way up to Songkhla and then up north to Samui island then cross over to the west to Krabi and extend to Phuket then back to KL passing through Trang :) it was the best time of my life so far. My tummy suffered from severe withdrawal from all those awesome Thai food after that. haha... but it was a helluva journey...

so here i am.. still juggling with my 9-6 job.. and also with my precious Carter... my mum... and my friends...

i was so occupied with living that my priorities shifted..

it was a good change for me..

it is really nice to read back old entries and that kinda inspired me to write back again.. and also because a certain few people did really want me to do so... but nobody can force someone to write.. haha..

but yea...

so... here i am..

new entries... new memories...

axe oh axe oh
tuls

guilty pleasure....

the best feeling after coming home from work?

scratch my pubes!

scratch till it is almost red but not to the extent of scraping the first layer of the skin off! lol total bliss

______________________________

dear blog, ive been away for too long. i miss you, but i think you really need a make over. So.... after this, shall we do some spring cleaning? :)

did you any of you bloggers out there miss me? lol.. don't worry, i wont make a big deal even if you didnt comment after reading.... *inside joke* those who understood and laugh, please just keep it to yourself ok... 

tatafornow! axe oh axe oh

good deed : a stranger in the rain

a girl came in to my office today at 6.30pm, wearing blue t shirt and jeans, looking puzzled and a little wet from the rain..

i asked her whats wrong..

she said she was with a man, who promised her a job in KL, but then they had a disagreement, he then left her by the road side and drove off.

she said she lives near the Mines, and I was taken aback of how far she is from home.

i probe around and found out that she is an orphan who is 19 that doesnt live in an orphanage anymore, in her 2nd semester of accountancy in UCSI and doesnt have any money with her.

so i thought, ok why not help her get home, cos there is no public transport within 2km of this area.

and so i took an umbrella, walked with her to the nearest bus stop and waited for a taxi with her.

after waiting for 5 minutes, one of the lady in the crowd approached me and asked me where am i going, and so i said KL sentral. the lady said the few of them are going as well and asked whether we would like to join to share the fare. i smiled. i told the girl to follow the ladies, get to kl sentral and then take a ktm home. i gave her some money to take the taxi. i gave her some money for her ktm to the Mines. and i gave her some extra cash just in case she doesnt have enough. she thanked me and said "how can i ever repay you". i just smiled and say, "help someone home the next time", i left and walk back to the office after asking the working ladies at the bus stop to take good care of her..

i could see the bus stop from my office and from time to time i just keep looking at the bus stop to see whether any taxi stopped by for them.

after a couple of minutes, one taxi did, and when i thought she is going in to the taxi, she did not. i felt a little uneasy after that.

from a distance, both of our eyes met for a split second but i just kept doing what i was doing.

moments later she came back in, and i asked her why is she still here and that she hasnt left with the ladies?

she said she thinks she lost her phone and wanted to make a call and see who answers it. and so i let her, using the office phone.

she then say no one is answering and said that she might have lost it somewhere along the way.

something is amiss. my gut feeling is telling me something is.................... well.. i dont know.

the funny thing that happened next is that she say its ok, and that she will wait at another bus stop who has a larger crowd cos she said she saw more taxis over there just now.

i said go ahead. and i say hope that she reaches home safely. i smiled and she thanked me again and ask for my name card.

i told her "its ok, you dont have to repay me, i work here. you can always find me here".

she left soon after.

the other bus stop was not in sight from my office. and so the story ends here.




i try not to doubt or judge the girl, i know i did my best. putting myself in her shoes, i know how it feels if she really is lost. and so im content. but... hmm.. lol. i should stop here now.

new revelation of the past...

it's been a while since i had a heart to heart talk with my mum. traditional chinese families dont do heart to heart. showing love or concern is kinda a taboo. although there are no exchange of saying i love yous and physical hugs, you could still feel the love.

i dont consider my parents to be traditional at all, but, some traditional traits were passed down to them indirectly.

something happened today and it kinda brought up stuffs in the past. stuffs that i no longer wanna remember but yet cant avoid.

when i was younger, i dont really remember my mum cook at home at all. we would always order take out and would go to restaurants to eat dinner and all after school. up till now i still tell myself and friends that my family rarely cooks at home cos eating out really is cheaper than to cook at home, which is considerably true to think of it.

remember we used to go kenny rogers all the time? you know why we always go there? cos i dont have to pay by cash. i pay all using credit card, and then only pay minimal at the end of each month just to survive. i remember times when i dont even have cash to eat lunch. i would rather borrow from the bank than my siblings. yes they say family comes first, but all my siblings have got family of their own and sometimes its not as easy as borrowing from him or her, its more like borrowing from that family. 

well those days are gone, mum is no longer in debt thank goodness.

all my mums siblings are quite well off to do. most of them are quite strong in terms of religion and believing in God and all. they donate to their respective place of prayers every so often without holding back but that kinda irk me in a way now to think of it when they refuse to help mum but yet so willing to donate to something that is merely visible.

yes, i'm all out not a religious person. i can say that i dont believe in something that i cant see. i may not understand the supreme divine being that is higher than us. that aside, why can't you help your family before helping the church or temple? you do that because donating to the church makes you feel more noble? people noticed how much you donate and they praise and appreciate you more? for goodness sake your sister is suffering somewhere else...

i respect my elders, but that doesnt mean i need to like them... i still do go back to my mum's hometown for reunions and stuffs just for the sake of my mum... i dont really wanna.. there is nothing there to see other than relatives flaunting their riches at our faces..

you dont know how much i had to put up last time just to survive. i just dont say it out only.

that instance i nearly cried, but i didnt. it was the past and i'll just let it be. yes i may be hating my aunts and uncles but everything is ok now. mum is better now that im good boy stable earning a fixed income every month. i took over paying all the utility bills and car loans and just trying to ease her burden as much as i could.

i want to tell her that i love her very much, and i really do appreciate her, but because of the traditional family trait of not expressing that was indirectly passed to me, i didnt. but i know she knows and i know she knows that i know too. so its all good.


we will just love each other silently.

mugged...

a girl friend just got mugged by a group of 4.

it never occur to us about these things until it really happen to people around us.

she did not sustain any injuries nor harmed.

only money and phone was taken.

ive been thinking about it all afternoon, about what if i had went out with her today. she might've not been targeted.

then there are all the things that was going round my head about what happen if im at scene when it happens. i would draw out a samurai sword, grab my gf close around me and spin, slashing the four dickheads.. or if i have psychic power and i make them 4 stab each other to death.. or if i could grow twice my size and be like hulk and just crush and tear them apart.. lol... so many crazy things was going on up there.. haha...

but whatever pun, she is safe now.. just make sure she brings her umbrella along wherever she go. lol.

i asked a colleague of mine today on what if she was in my friend's position, what will she do? she said if there are things that are important to her that was in her purse, she would fight crazily for it..

hm... i guess she has her point... but is it worth to risk her life just to protect that "thing"?

:)

i really feel like killing those bastards. lol

there are lots of good strangers out there...

you know sometimes you have that feeling.. feeling of feeling feeling.. like sudden influx of emotions through your body for no reason..

well i just had one..

was showering and was thinking while looking at the ceiling...

i realize that im in malaysia...

like wow...

it took me half a year to really realize that..

....

im not sleeping the whole time...

i was just....... .............i dont know. suddenly i miss the cold miserable full of slutty fun life of England..

Keith texted me not too long ago and said that I had overdrawn 10pounds from my bank account and that the statement was sent to him... and i was like: REALLY?... and he was like: yea, i paid it off already..

:)

he is just too sweet... still sweet even after so long....

i do miss him..

he is a good chapter of my life.. Carter once said to me a year ago, he said: I think if Keith was 10 years younger you would have married him... 

i guess he is right, i said. haha.... silly keith... he texts me every now and then asking about life over here in malaysia, asking about Carter and I, my family.. he is really such a sweeet sweeet daddy. Anyone who wants a daddy in UK who doesnt mind him sexing me before can always contact me and I shall intro la.. LOL... JOking..

anyway...

chatting with Keith made me reminisce about the life i had in UK. the weather, the job, me taking the metro, my lovely awesome car, my graduation, how i struggled through uni while doing 2 jobs at the same time...

i had a great life there..

i always told myself, i wanna get out of the country for good, never wanna come back here, this place is a shithole...

being back here for 6 month, having someone special now, surrounded by friends and family, it feels like this is not a bad place after all...

haha..

i mean as long as youre content with what you have and where you are, i guess its all that you need to stick around..

or maybe im just too lazy to find a job in England, but whatever, thats not the main point..


i wanna thank those who wrote to me with their concerns and those who wanted to help for the past few years while i was abroad.. at times of trouble, you guys were there to support even though most of you dont even know me personally at all...

to that one person who helped me get tix to go home when i was in deep shit, i owe you the most, you helped me even though we havent met and that you only know my story through this blog... may God bless you always.. you dont know how much it meant to me that night, it was like 2 am in the morning, and my visa was like expiring in a month, and I was all alone, with no one to go to, insomnia kicked in, stress mode full on and with no security whatsoever, I texted you and..... ....just thank you so so much. Like the angmos like to say: youre an angel! :)

i've had lots of really good encounters in my life... lots of help here and there along the way.. i just wanna be that person in the future too, someone who could lend a hand to another person when he/she is in deep shit, whether its emotional, financial or physical support... i know i am trying to...



there are lots of good strangers out there, i wanna be a part of that society too..

till then... have a good year ahead to whoever who is still reading this dusty page :)

dried cum...

i woke up today, admiring my fat chest and to my amazement i saw a shiny scale... and i was like... wtf is that?

the end.

pee fetish marking territory...

so one day a conversation about fetishes was brought up during a relaxing evening and...

Carter: so what other fetishes do you have?

Me: well... this may sound weird but i always wanted to try a golden shower..

er.....

what?! :( i told you it was weird...

.....

what?!!! lol

...... well i wouldnt do it to you...

why not?

cos i respect you as a person...

er.... not to say ..... but its not about respect or not ma...

......still no...

.....why wor..... lol.... its not a thing la, im not asking you to do pun, i havent tried la, but i always imagined it la.... :p

ok, fine, if you really want me to do it can, i pee on you but you cannot wash it away cos im marking territory..

=.=

young and cute february no more?...

seems like it was yesterday that young and cute month was established! lol..

im forever young and cute anyway, being a quarter century old, life has just started for me!

i dont really remember the details on how it came by, close blogger friends was like HEY TULS, its FEBRUARY AGAIN!!

errr... so?

YOUNG AND CUTE MONTH!!

O M G!! YES!!!   .....wait.... why was it young and cute again?

hahahaha... it seems my memory has failed me.. or maybe my brain isnt registering stuffs that are not worth remembering.. its good like that.. shutting out feelings would be easy for me... so i say...

haha...

people grow, people change, so i guess, young and cute month should come to an end..

but...

instead...

we will have... YOUNG AND CUTE DECADE!!!!

SO FOR THE NEXT 10 YEARS, WE WILL FOREVER AND ALWAYS BE YOUNG AND CUTE!!!!

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA....

ok i think im crazy already...

as usual, i will have some cutie-s for this special blog post! :)

my lovely angmo! :)

more angmos for me!

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So cute la this boyboy...

chao angmo and his asian boytoy... lol

how to eat when something so hot is sitting in front of you.?????

is that prince charming?

stalker ex-blogger...

an old blogger that i know sent me a fb message in september but i only realize it in january.. it goes..

hey TULS, add me again, its been sometime...

i was curious about why i dont him as a friend anymore on fb.. lol and so i added him back.. and then moments later..

thanks for the add

heya, i'm at work, talk later k..

btw me and xxx(another blogger) are no longer friends..

doesnt really concern me la.. lol

back in KL?

yea..

hey did you get my new number? btw where are you working now?

no i did not...

at mont kiara?

i was shocked... i didnt want him to know where exactly im working la not that im really close to him.. so i just said

yea..

at 1montkiara?

that is a little creepy already

nope..

publika?

nearby..

plaza damas?

nearby..

by this time i already dont feel like talking to him anymore..

hey, wanna meet tomorrow?

erm.. im not free

and a few more occasions he did ask me out but once i was celebrating Carter's birthday.. and a few more times i was with family and also spending time with Carter..

Okay. I guess that means you'll probably not be free for any meetups at all.. Bye and have fun

i deleted him off facebook, and i make sure i will always disable my location before sending text to sohais.. and i finally realize why i dont have him on my fb.. so not worth my effort and time..

*flip hair*

cake-breaking love..

we were having one of our usual weekly dates. this time round it was in Alexis Pavilion. their cake selection always look tempting and so we ordered 2 of those.

lets call them cake A and cake B..

i took a scoop of A and immediately i fell in love with it. Cake B is... well.. not my kinda thing at all. just one bite and that is it for me.

Carter loves cake A as well. so... being the understanding boyfriend i am *fliphair* i started eating cake B and asked Carter to eat cake A..

he saw and he knew that i love cake A and so...


nah, you eat cake A la... i know you like cake A.. *took cake B from me*

dowan la.. you eat la, i can eat this cake..

no, you eat cake A..

*i tried to take cake B from him*

and without warning, he took his spoon and smash cake B twice.

i look at him for 1.5 seconds and i laugh like mad.. and he laughed like crap too..


see, this one ugly already, you take cake A...

-.-


memang menyampah right? urgh.... lol....

suck fingers while driving...

the journey was long, it was a 5 hour drive and baby Carter was starting to get sleepy..

baby, can you talk to me..

what you wanna talk about..

anything, i just wanna be awake..

you want coffee? you want a break?

we are almost there... so maybe not..

erm.... well... do you want a blowjob?

-.-

what?
if blowing can wake you up... i would... lol

and there he goes telling me all about his past car-blowjob-sexperience etc etc and i was pretend listening...

he knew i was not focusing on his stories, he took my right hand with his left and put my index finger in his mouth and he started sucking it..

what the fuck are you doing??

oh....my.....gosh....

ok, i admit, i have a sensitive finger, and when its in someone's oral cavity, gone la gone la, i twitch and twerk on the passenger seat as though as i was having a fit...

and with that, Carter is awake..

-.-

and also little TULS...

-.-

and then little Carter too...

the end.

we arrived at our destination moments later.

mischievous Carter...

was driving to Carter's one day..

it was a 5 hour journey..

he was driving while im on his left.. his DAD was at the back seat!


halfway through the journey he grab hold my right hand. i turn to him with amazement!

what?

but,... your dad is behind!!

so what? he's asleep...

yea... but still.....

so what if he finds out?

lol... are you ready for him to know?

so he held my hand till we reach his place with his dad at the back seat, not sure whether he saw anything or not.. silly Carter.. i know he doesnt mind his family knowing about us but i dont like to rub it in their face, not like this... haha.. at least not on our first parent-partner introduction!!! :)

i love you to the moon and back

always and forever