t u l s

t u l s

Saturday, June 4, 2011

singapura - the culture

1. the walk fast fast

seriously everyone is like rushing everywhere i have no idea where they wanna go.. usually in some halal countries you can see the escalator both the left and the right side everyone just stand there nia.. relaks.... but in sg, the left side usually stay put but the right side macam asyik ada orang nak lalu... i experience a few blonde moments when i just terstood there on the right side then terkena the EXCUSE ME thing.. so memalukan.. hahahahaha... and during peak hours omg.. the crowd is even worse.. the escalator moving and the people on it all moving.. so funny.. hahahaha.. seriously like they are rushing to go reincarnate or something... sometimes i just laugh one side... oh well.. advance country wtf..

2. bags

at the mrt station you can see de lo, especially the ladies, if its not coach then its  gucci.. everyone has got an least a MENG PAI bag.. and the LONGCHAMP thingy, almost everyone is carrying it lor, old auntie, young girls, even the MENS! seriously de! i was like what the fuck?!?!?

3. language

i was at the central part most of the time and everyone seems to speak only english..hm... you watch all the channel 8, UTV, channel 5 and all in johor, they all crap in mandarin kan? but central semua cakap english... and you can sense de lor when you speak mandarin got double standard they will look down on you.. you know what i did? being the good chinese boy my mum raised me to be, i speak MANDARIN all the way to irk those son of toooot! and when they really fucked me, i FUCKED THEM BACK WITH MY ANGMOH-ISH ENGLISH FUCKING ACCENT.. NABE!!! take that la..then they stare at me.. and my cousins will just laugh and we just walk off.. the more they hate my mandarin, the more i speak loud loud in fronna them..

4. tan

maybe its the gay thing here.. cos all the guys here are tan.. i think most of the gay ones la.. if youre fair, you cannot make it to be gay? unless youre either lala, lala gays are fair.. or the ah beng gays... if not usually all the hot gays are all tan.. if youre not tan, they will look at you one kind? correct? hahahahahaha,...

5. body

most of the guys here all quite well built de lor.. is like you go anywhere also got de.. the face cannot make it then too bad la but still got body de.. hahahaha.. seriously sometimes you can see even old uncle the face like cement like that but the body still got shape de leh.. really pui fok.. hahahahaha...

6. car mentality

a friend once told me about a story where in uni this ugly guy is despised by all the friends but when the girls found out that he has got a car, they all POK JU go attached themselves at him.. i mean got so melampau or not? heard that the permit to buy the car is as expensive as the car? hahahaahah... so gua cheong.. so malaysians please dont become PR and drive there so that all the girls will cow you ok! hahahaha...

7. attitude

ok la.. this one got nothing to say la.. i think everywhere in the world everyone will also got this sombong kinda thing but there is this one time i was in isetan shaw house was at the calvin klein area and this four eye-d attendant was like looking at me, i was talking to my cousins then, in mandarin, whatever la, he got no smile one like the lips kena botox cannot move one, some guys the face so ugly edi some more dont smile look so slappable then after that he went back to his other colleague and like i think talking about us i was kinda ter-irritated i went thru all the calvin klein shirt and take up one by one pretending to look at the size and not ngam throw back and mess up his whole troley of clothes NABE KAU, you go and lipat back your 50 percent off shirts la bastard... mess with the tuls.. eeee. benci benci.. hahahahaha.. i also quite jahat la.. hahahaha.. but whatever.. *flip hair* moving on...

8. fred perry

just because the shirt ada some coloured stripes and some of them macam rainbow then all the gay guys beli them is it? hahahahaha.. seriously one alot of them wearing this shit hear lor.. and like the logo is like some padi sawah where malaysia state flags a few of them also got.. damn kelakar! hahahahahah... we can go like, is that fred perry? or is that a PERLIS STATE SUPPORTER?! hhahahahahhahaahhahahah

9. metrosexual

was at kedai dobi god and this straight couple was like holding hands and the bf was like wearing so tight the shirt like gonna explode anytime and the way he walks like catwalk like that omg!!! me likey.. kalahkan so many perempuans... hahahaha.. 

10. kiasu

the kiasu definition here should be pointed towards like whenever there is something new(nice or not), people will go and kepo and try, for example the bubble tea shit GONG CHA, i mean its not really that nice but the queue to buy that shit is like what 20 30 person queue.. i was like what the fuck?!! it doesnt make you hotter in any sense people!! and the walk fast fast thing.. seeing everyone walking so fast it also makes you wanna walk faster - KIASU! HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAH.... 

oh well.. 10 things.. should be enough gua.. hhahahaha.. cant think of anymore for now...

overall i enjoyed my sg trip... cant wait for the next installment :)


  1. OMG! I laughed reading this post. And that's the reason Singapore won't be my place to stay because of all the points you posted. Hahahaha!!!

  2. I've always wanted to live in Singapore!

    And number 7 is funny! hahaha xD

    Aren't there a lot of metrosexual guys even here in KL?

  3. owh the kebimboistic-aN. owh well, so what if i speak mandarin? my english is reserved for caucasians not some well-cooked cookies like you okay. don't even make me start yapping in japanese. the only jap words those arses prolly are yamette and kimochi. XD

  4. the mandarin part horh, the singaporeans look down on malaysian mandarin instead. they deem it asw very kampoing-ish.. like "ser lor ser lor"... instead of "shi lor shi lor".. or "yi ge len"... instead of "yi ge ren"....

  5. Nah not really mate! Singaporean do speak Mandarin based on my 4 yrs experience working life at Singapore.

  6. Hahaha...hehehe.. lmao!

    Why so lame one? Btw, true also lah.. That's why I got so bored here and tired with the walk fast fast thing!

  7. @Aiden:There are alot of metrosexual guys in KL. Bt, most of them are gays! In Sg, u can't even differentiate whether they are straight or gay!!! -- Just like Tuls mentioned abt the straight guy who wore tight-tight!

  8. Betul what you said about the metrosexual guys here.. I'm Singaporean and even then susah sekali nak tell them apart... BTW jahat eh you! Hahahaa!

  9. Oh crap, means I can't live in Singapore because my radar is already terrible to begin with. With all the metrosexuals looming around, I will probably fall for the wrong guys over and over again hahaha :P

  10. i agree with 1, 4 and 5.
    escalator thingy is really true...
    and all all look well-built and tan...
    especially at Sentosa wave house...

  11. @calvin ~ hahahaha.. thanks! but.. what??!?! wow... i would wanna stay there and be the odd one out lor! be different! :)

    @aiden ~ thanks! but yea like what simonlover said, its even more difficult to spot us over there than here :) hahaha.. i mean, if youre there long enough then you will understand! :)

    @tempus ~ porno! hahahahaha...

    @eric ~ im too hot to look down upon! *flips hair* *fan hand at face* hots!!

    @willK ~ yea they do.. haha.. but in central where i eat even grandmas that come out for shopping and all speaks english.. you dont see that in msia..

    @just b3cks ~ hahaahaha... you walk slow slow lor! dont be kiasu! hahahahaah...

    @simonlover ~ muacks you!

    @nameless ~ i abit jahats! thanks for visiting dear! *hugs*

    @jboy ~ dont worry.. you fall for the wrong ones in msia takpe, but go there its a totally different thing, cos its the reverse.. the wrong one you fall for will turn out right :) give yourself another chance k :)

    @naughty prince ~ thank you! finally met you!! hahahahah,...

  12. @Simonlover & @tuls: I see. I think I'll have a hard time if I go over there then. My gaydar is nonexistent as it is! xD

  13. if i cnnot speak mandarin , how then? and can i migrate ?what pros and cons to migrate hor?

  14. i have that fred perry you mentioned oh. with the colorful strip one

  15. @aiden ~ hahahahaha.. dont worry.. you cant find them, they will find you :)

    @ooi2009 ~ erm.. dono wor.. sorry.. cant help in this field.. must ask other kawans to help jor..

    @brainy smurf ~ omg!! awesome possum!!

    @naughty prince ~ my pleasure too :)

  16. Very good and accurate observation! ;P

    I'm not sure about the Mandarin part coz I don't speak Mandarin.